Shaolin Devil, Shaolin Angel (1977)

Posted on Aug 01, 2001 under Martial arts |

aka Shaolin Devil & Angel, aka Mask of Death

Directed by Joseph Cheung
Written by Joseph Cheung and Wong Ching Tai
Starring
- Chan Sing
- Wang Dao
- Tung Wei
- Hwa Ling
Produced by Yung Shiau Yue and Chen Tong

All right, let’s see if we can make sense of this one:

There’s a Mr. Wan (and since the closing credits didn’t match up the actors with the characters they played, you’re just going to have to do without that service), renowned locally as a philanthropist, so people bring to him a sick guy dressed in yellow with those preternatural white eyebrows that show up in these movies so often. The yellow guy makes some comment to Wan about how Wan really wants to be number one…

Girls! Girls! Girls!

Elsewhere, Mr. Wang, who is apparently the brother of Mr. Wan (unless people in their cultural class simply like calling each other “brother”) laments the fact that his son, Ching Wen, is more interested in pansy-like things like books and accupuncture than the manly art of kung fu (which I think is okay until Ching Wen offers that old cop-out, “Violence is never the answer!” — but I’ve ranted on that at length elsewhere, so we’ll let it go). After being dissed out by Dad, Ching Wen meets an elderly abbott at the door who offers to teach him kung fu (in between offering bits of fortune cookie wisdom). Ching Wen declines as politely as he can and sends him on his way.

Okay then. Wan and Wang are called before the local government guy, who tells them that there are just an oodle of killings going on in the area, representatives of each of the prominent local clans. There’s going to be a special investigator called in, but in the meantime, Wan and Wang are charged with finding the culprit.

Which they promptly do, it being the yellow dude. They and their men find him at night, and engage in the requisite kung fu barrage before Wan finally skewers him. And that should put an end to the murders, I bet.

“Now where did I put my pen?”

Then we meet a mysterious kung fu fighter at a brothel (his name is An Wen, and it took me most of the movie to catch his name), where he speaks to a mysterious boss-lady behind a curtain, and offers his services as an assassin. And here’s another thing it took me forever to catch — when he meets a girl in one of the rooms and she starts to disrobe, there are characters painted on her back. These, see, are the names of his targets. Given that these are never translated for us in subtitles or anything, how long did it take me to figure it out? Oh, roughly four-fifths of the movie; up until then, I just wondered, “Hey, what’s with the writing on the prostitute’s back, and why does this guy keep going back to the cathouse?”

Anyway. Then the distinctive killings start up again, including a break-in at Wang’s birthday party where just enough people are killed to send a message (and send all the guests packing with lame excuses). So Wan and Wang go hunting again (which sounds like a better birthday celebration anyway), but this time get their asses handed to them. An Wen arrives late, to find the bodies, along with Ching Wen and… a girl. I never did catch her name, or her relationship to anyone, although she’s obviously family (Ching Wen’s sister? Wan’s daughter? I dunno, but she’s sure easy on the eyes). Anyway, after the kung fu introductions, Ching Wen then goes with the wandering abbott to learn kung fu to avenge his father, while Cutie-Face followed An Wen as he makes his several trips to the brothel and then goes out and kills bandits and stuff.

I hope my summary has seemed coherent up until now, because here’s where it really gets screwy. Basically, Stuff Happens, including:

No funny caption. Pritty pitcher, innit?

- The abbot puts Ching Wen through his paces, demonstrating again the tradition from which George Lucas lifted the entire Dagobah sequence in The Empire Strikes Back.

- Cutie-Pie tracks An Wen to the brothel and gets into a fight with several of the men there, demonstrating her own kung fu prowess; maybe Ching Wen shoulda stuck with her. (Cuter than the abbott, too.)

- An Wen continues to receive mysterious messages of people to kill; in one scene, he thoughtfully carves the victims’ names onto gravestones, then meets them on the road and kills them.

- Cute-Stuff masquerades as a man (at least, I think that’s what we’re supposed to believe) to follow An Wen into the brothel and gets herself an eyeful.

Cute. Just plain cute.

- An Wen turns out to be the government agent, who is, I guess, also doing assassin stuff on the side.

- An Wen gets attacked by a guy in the brothel who fights with flying snakes, and is nursed back to health by Cutie-Cheeks, who then gets to hear the whole sob story of how he doesn’t like women because his mother deserted him and he was sold into servitude in a brothel and the prostitute he loved turned on him. (Nevertheless, An Wen and his PowerPuff Girl fall in love.)

By the time it came to get to all the exposition as to what the heck all this meant, my brain was too numb to absorb it. Suffice it to say that there was a conspiracy afoot, and just about everybody’s related to everybody else, and the secret “real killer” is nigh-invincible. The only thing that can defeat him is a big-ass bout between him, An Wen, Sweet-Cheeks, and the newly-trained Ching Wen — a fight that seemed to last a full twenty minutes. (All right, I admit it: It was late at night, and I kept nodding off. But each time I roused myself, dammit, they were still fighting!)

Boot to the head! (Nyah, nyah…)

So. When all is said and done, what the hell have they been saying and doing? Maybe it was chopped by either the original producer or the American distributor. Or maybe the dubbing wiped out several of the nuances that could have been clues. Or maybe it’s just a story that someone outside the culture wouldn’t be able to follow well. Whatever the reason, the best use for a movie like this (aside from the pop-culture caché of having a video entitled Shaolin Devil, Shaolin Angel on display) is to put it on in the background at a party. It’s colorful enough to add some fun, and not noteworthy enough to distract from the real action.