Replikator (1994)

Posted on Dec 11, 2002 under Sci-fi |

Directed by G. Philip Jackson
Written by Michelle Bellerose, John Dawson, and Tony Johnston
Starring
- Michael St. Gerard
- Brigitte Bako
- Ned Beatty
- Lisa Howard
- Peter Outerbridge

As you’ve probably noticed, I like smart movies, but I like stupid movies too. Not the intentionally moronic features like we’ve been subjected to (under the guise of “comedy”) for these past few years, but unambitious fare that never really tries to rise above coasting on the conventions of whatever genre it falls in.

But then there are those movies that are stupid, but honestly think they’re smart. Those movies aren’t much good for anything.

Suspect that I’m talking about Replikator? Gold star!

I’ve seen the future, baby, it is yellow.

Our main character is on Ludo Ludovic (Michael St. Gerard), and yes, his first name is also “Ludovic.” In the far-flung future of 2014, which looks just like every low-budget Blade Runner clone you’ve ever seen (but with more yellow signage), he’s a twenty-seven-year-old wunderkind, returning now to his research in replication after a jail term for forgery. (Time in the bighouse did him good, though; for one thing, he came out without the mullet he had going in.) What is replication, you ask? Why, simply the ability to make an exact replica of any object, powered by massive amounts of technobabble. Given the potential for wealth and economic chaos from technology like that (now EVERYONE can have a copy of Amazing Fantasy #15!), you’d think that Ludo’s employer, BioDesign, would comprise more than four people in a refurbished industrial factory (complete with rusty tanks and, yes, catwalks).

Meanwhile, the competing company racing toward the same goal, Zyklor, employs Ludo’s former partner Kathy (Brigitte Bako) from his pre-greybar period. Kathy’s obviously a good kid, and just as obviously still carries a torch for Ludo despite being mad at him for the mess his incarceration made of their project. Unfortunately, she and galpal Lena (Lisa Howard) are inadvertantly working for the EE-vil company. The first clue is that, in contrast to the homey rust of the BioDesign setup, Zyklor’s lab is all a sterile white. The second clue is her boss, the smarmy Byron Scott (Ron Lea), who alternately praises and cajoles her into agreeing to an early test of the technology.

**Test tubes of colored liquids? But that must mean — there’s SCIENCE going on!**

BioDesign’s also under the gun to make a successful test, but the night that Ludo’s setting up the machine, two false “InterSec” officers (we call them “police,” but we’re not as advanced as the people of 2014) burst in, try to kill everyone, and end up knocking the unconscious Ludo into the replication machine, which looks suspiciously like a cast-off MRI scanner. When he wakes up, low and behold, there’s another one of him walking around.

At least this whole replication deal, while complete nonsense as presented, isn’t quite as ridiculous and inaccurate as every portrayal of cloning you’ve ever seen. In other words, there’s a reason that the Ludo-copy is full-grown and has the same hairstyle. On the other hand, while having all of Ludo’s memories, he inexplicably understands that he’s the copy. He’s also a little antisocial, and knocks Ludo out again, leaving him to take a murder rap when real cops come in and discover him with a bunch of dead bodies.

Feh. Replicants — no fashion sense.

Fortunately, there is such a thing as a good cop: Inspector Valiant (Ned Beatty with a moustache), the gumshoe who put Ludo away in the first place. He takes over the investigation, and puts two and two together about the replicant — especially easy once Ludo-Prime steals the clothes from the worst-dressed individual he can find, and starts hassling strippers and bums. Unfortunately, his investigation is hampered at every turn by Police Chief Rinehart (David Hemblen) — and no wonder, as Rinehart is also calling the shots for Scott and his own replication project, which is apparently intended for nefarious purposes.

Nothing up to this point in my description would lead you to believe that this is the faux-intelligent movie I told you it was (except, of course, for the entire replication premise, but anyone who didn’t cough up a lung when Morpheus told Neo what powers the Matrix really can’t compain too loudly here). But that’s because I’ve been leaving out all the little flourishes, the stabs at depth and meaningfulness that can sink a movie faster than an iceberg.

“Those aren’t muttonchops, those are my CHEEKS.”

For one thing, there are these ongoing TV broadcasts about the illegal drug Virtualitol, which, as the name suggests, enhances the impact of the VR entertainments that everyone’s prone to using. Scott’s a Virtualitol addict, and not only does he wear a helmet and gloves when he plugs in, he’s also got himself a VR codpiece. His tottie of choice? The future’s most desireable women, apparently — sex star Tina Show (Cicciolina), who frankly wouldn’t rate a second glance on the “erotic thriller” rental shelf. (The movie was pretty obviously shot in Canada — after five minutes my Canadian Actor Recognition Alarm was blaring at full volume — and maybe they just don’t have any good looking strippers in Vancouver.) The Virtualitol looks like it’s going to be something important to the storyline, but it peters out and vanishes, as does the idea that Scott is actually “Lord Falcon,” underground leader of a “New Destiny” anarchist cult.

There’s also the ongoing quest of XeroLudo to, you know, “find” himself — to discover what makes him different, because he feels all empty inside, and he’s constantly looking for sensation and trying to discover why others can make emotional bonds and he can’t. (Hint, dude: THE CLOTHES.) All of this is made more desperate by the fact that the mouse that Kathy’s team tried to replicate melted down in twenty minutes; gosh, could Ludo Junior have a limited life span too? (Did I mention that someone in charge of making this movie had obviously seen Blade Runner?)

In a future with only this to offer, I’m betting nostalgia is big bucks.

Like most movies in the genre of wanna-be-smart sci-fi, the script needed another rewrite. Or maybe the script was perfect, and got screwed up in shooting, or in a lousy edit. Whatever the reason, the proceedings are pretty uninvolved, a collection of far too many scenes of psychobabble shot on blue-lit sets. There are really two movies here, neither one thought out well — one a dull “fight against the man” suspense thriller, one a shallow “what does it mean to be human?” meditation. Put the two of them together, and you get a movie that, like the ersatz Ludo said of his own replicated origin, isn’t quite the sum of its parts. May the REAL Replikator movie is out there somewhere, and this one is only the unstable replicated copy.