Laughing Dead, The (1989)

Posted on Oct 15, 2003 under Horror |

Written and directed by S.P. Somtow
Starring
- Tim Sullivan
- Wendy Webb
- S.P. Somtow
- Patrick Roskowick
- Larry Kagen

I’ve wanted to see this movie for a dozen years, ever since I read a first-person behind-the-scenes piece in Fangoria by the director, S.P. Somtow (aka Somtow Sucharitkul). It was a pretty engaging little saga. Somtow, who had become a respected genre novelist during the ’80s, ended up in Hollywood with a vague plan to change his career and make movies. As luck would have it, he ran into low-bdget creature effects guru John Carl Buechler in a supermarket line, and the two got to talking. Buechler’s advice was, if you want people to let you make movies, get a movie made. He suggested a low-budget (couple hundred thousand dollars) horror movie as something that would be easily marketable, and the two agreed to collaborate. Somtow went off and put together a story revolving around the Mexican Day of the Dead festival, and — in a stroke of genius — recruited a lot of friends from his circle of up-and-coming authors to get killed in his movie.

So. I waited to see this in the video store. And I waited. And I waited.

“Stop laughing — it’s better than the uniforms we had at Little Caesar’s.”

The second part of the story, the reason The Laughing Dead has never had a U.S. release, was explained to me roughly thus: the backer who financed the production was a rich kid, with a grotesquely decadent living allowance out of his father’s money. Once the movie was completed, he suddenly realized that, if it was successful, Daddy might expect him to go out and make himself useful on a regular basis and cut off the gravy train. So he nixed the possibility of domestic distribution. Even today, the movie has had VHS and DVD releases in Britain, but nothing on this side of the Atlantic. (And how did I come to see it? Never you mind.)

So. After a dozen years of expectation, after finally laying eyes on what was becoming a pseudo-”lost film” in the horror movie world… How was it, you ask?

Well, let me put it this way. I don’t think that the living allowance was really in that much danger.

I mean, the romance of the “living the Hollywood dream” story aside, what you’ve got here is someone who came to Tinseltown with no previous screenwriting or directing experience, who then proceeded to write, direct, and co-star in his first feature. (He also provided the score, by the way, having also had a previous career as an avant-garde composer.) When you take that pedigree into account, then, I guess it’s not half bad. And it certainly doesn’t look rock-bottom cheap, I’ll say that for it.

“See why I need implants?”

Things get off to a bang with an unusual gambit: child sacrifice. Money changes hands, a little girl leaves home in the back of a banged-up pickup, and the next thing you know, she’s lying on a stone altar, having an obsidian dagger plunged into her. The plunger, in full feathered regalia, is the evil (obviously) Dr. Um-Tzec (Somtow, quite possibly the only Aztec high priest of Thai descent ever). Dr. Um-Tzec then changes from his ceremonial garb into a white suit reminiscent of that of Col. Sanders. (Yes I’m going to leave that joke open wide for you. Run with it.)

Meanwhile, in Tuscon, Father O’Sullivan (Tim Sullivan) is preparing for his annual archaeology tour to Oaxaca for the Day of the Dead festival. O’Sullivan’s got some strong points to his character; he plays basketball with the local youth, and is always ready to arrange shelter for battered women and such. But he’s got a terrible stain on his past; a few years ago, he and a nun caused something of a stir for using the confessional for activities frowned upon by the Vatican. He’s also near the end of his faith. And he’s stupid enough to leave all of the newspaper clippings and a photo of the nun all over his desk for parishioner Laurie (Premika Eaton) to find.

He’s also the sucking point of the movie, because Tim Sullivan manages to convey all of the emotional intensity of a straight-backed Shaker chair. In every scene, he looks like he’s straining all of his thespian abilities to blink convincingly. There’s Neophyte Director Error #1: Give out all the supporting roles to your friends if you want, but make sure your lead is a competent actor.

Not that he’s alone in the bad acting department. His early scenes with Laurie are an amusing exercise in contrasts, since Eaton delivers every line with full-bore histrionics (”WHAT are we HAVING for LUNCH???”), while Sullivan, well… <blink>

“Now THAT’S a hangnail!”

Anyway. The tour group this year has a few colorful oddballs in it, including Wilbur and Clarisse Lemming (Larry Kagen and Krista Keim), a geeky-but-trendy New Age couple, and a pair of arguing and ill-dressed friend, Dozois (Raymond Ridenour, and yes, his name is an in-joke) and Frost (SF novelist Gregory Frost). Oh, and Laurie stows away for the trip to get away from an argument with her sick father at home.

But wait, there’s one more stop — and the two other members of their company prove to be Tessie (Wendy Webb), who once upon a time was the nun that O’Sullivan knew, and her (their) ten-year-old son Ivan (Patrick Roskowick). (<blink<) Ivan’s a little snot (even his mother calls him “Ivan the Terrible”), and the implication is that he would have turned out better if he had ever had a real father. He also manages to drop more F-bombs in the next ninety minutes than any other child actor I’ve ever seen. Ever. Isn’t there, you know, a law against that sort of thing?

Okay. Time for me to get rolling ahead. After some spooky happenings on the road, they arrive in the village for the festival, where Dr. Um-Tzec is still cheerily murdering children on cue. And just to make matters worse, he’s got a little shrine in his house, centering on a picture of — Ivan!

Dr. Um-Tzec lures Father O’Sullivan into his house with a message that his daughter is possessed, and even though O’Sullivan’s faith tank is running on fumes (plus he recognizes Dr. Um-Tzec’s face from some disturbing dreams), he consents to go ahead with the exorcism. At least the doctor wasn’t lying; his grown daughter definitely is possessed, and after showing the priest some dirty dancing, she rips open her chest, pulls out her heart, pulls O’Sullivan’s from his chest, and exchanges them. So now O’Sullivan’s possessed too, by the spirit of the great Death-God Um-Tzec (for whom Dr. Um-Tzec’s family has borne its name all these generations).

“I graduated from Clarion for THIS?”

And hoo-boy, there are few giggles in this movie better than watching O’Sullivan act possessed. Because, with his glassy stare, his monotone voice, his wooden demeanor… there’s really not much change! Except, of course, for those moments in which O’Sullivan’s soul is struggling to get out, when he jerks around like he had too many habaneros for lunch. (Let’s just make a gentle reminder here of Neophyte Director Error #1, shall we?)

Of course, to fill the time before the grand finale, we have to have some miscellaneous killings. Dozois gets his head knocked off and used for a basketball; Dr. Um-Tzec’s henchmen kill the innkeeper and the busdriver; and O’Sullivan goes wild and starts punching straight through people before disappearing into the catacombs beneath the inn, where Ivan is being prepared as a final sacrifice to usher in the reign of Um-Tzec, the Death-God.

Thankfully, Cal (Ryan Effner), a kid from a local archaeological dig, has the hots for Laurie, so he just happens to be around for the finale, when he summons Kukulkan to fight Um-Tzec. Well, “summon” might not be the word; Cal actually transforms into a huge saurian critter, and Dr. Um-Tzec becomes his namesake, looking very much like a stereotypical Buechler creature. Talk about deus ex machina… Meanwhile, in the background, the living good guys have to play against a group of zombies in one of those Mayan ballgames… to the death!

So. Aside from some lamentable acting, what else can I say? The story’s not nearly as professional as one would expect from an experienced novelist; characterizations are a combination of sketchy cliches. (Actually, the only character who really gets any characterization is O’Sullivan. <Blink.>) The showdown at the end really comes down to the scenery-chewing EE-vil of Dr. Um-Tzec (Somtow’s performance is actually the most fun to watch) and the maudlin familial sentiment of O’Sullivan’s sudden family situation, despite the fact that Ivan swears like a sailor and makes fun of the priest for wearing a skirt.

One of these props could very well have been reused in Carnosaur.

On the other hand, if you read a lot of Isaac Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine during the ’80s, you just might want to watch the credits first, so you’ll know who to pick out. Edward Bryant as the busdriver! Arthur Byron Cover as Zombie #1! Tim Powers as Zombie #2! Brynne Stephens as Zombie #3! William Wu as Zombie #4! Bill Warren as Corpse #2! Len Wein as Corpse #3! (Not exactly a SF novelist, but comic book writers are cool on their own.) And of course, Forrest J Ackerman in a masterful turn as Corpse #1!

Not exactly the kind of audience appeal on which filmmaking careers are made (and this one wasn’t — Somtow only directed one other movie, five years later), but I probably wouldn’t judge it harshly compared to other horror movies in its budget range if it weren’t for that Fangoria article that’s been stuck in my head for so long.