- Written and directed by Michael Cooney
- Starring
- Scott MacDonald
- Christopher Allport
- Stephen Mendel
Wow. This was one campy, goofy-ass movie.
See, this serial killer, Jack Frost, is on his way to his own execution in the middle of the night in a snowstorm, and the prison vehicle crashes into a tanker of a weird experimental acid. Jack’s cells are somehow bonded to the snow crystals, and presto — a very unconvincing evil snowman tries to take vengeance on the small-town sheriff who caught him!
One thing (and only one) they did well: Jack looked different between his capture, his conviction, and his transportation to execution, as if time had actually passed.
Jack wasn’t the only fake-looking snowman around — they all were pretty phony. In fact, it was an unconvincing winter all around; all the snow was in the foreground, and no one had frosty breath, not even in the night scenes.
Now, this acid was an experimental substance. “We hadn’t even tested the acid on an amoeba,” says one character. Gee, then why were they transporting an entire tankerload down a country road at midnight?
You know, this would have been a lot scarier if Jack had looked anything like the video cover. As it was, he was visibly made of stuffed white fabric.
Okay now, Horror Flick 101: One false ending is allowed (in fact, it’s practically required); two you can get away with if you do it well; but three is just plain annoying.
Some Notable Totables:
- body count: 9
- breasts: 0
- shots from the POV of a puddle of water: 2
- incredibly phallic wine bottle: 1
- jokes stolen from Toy Story: 1 (”Look, ma! I’m a Picasso!”)
- actors who’ve been on Star Trek: 4
- Scott MacDonald, the human Jack Frost, was an alien on a 6th season TNG episode, two aliens on different episodes of DS9 (including “Tosk”, one of my all-time favorite DS9 aliens), and an ill-fated crewmember on the Voyager pilot
- Eileen Seeley, who played Anne the dispatcher, was in the TNG episode “The Ensigns of Command”
- Rob Labelle, who was Stone the government nerd, played aliens on two episodes of Voyager (one a Ferengi, the other a Talaxian)
- Chip Heller, Deputy Foster, was a warrior on TNG
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