• Written and directed by Tariq Jalil

I’ve never understood Star Wars fandom as well as its Star Trek counterpart. Which is no reflection on the movies themselves; I’ve always loved the original Star Wars trilogy, and found them a very serviceable mythic vehicle for the twentieth century (and beyond!). But the premise never struck me as one that would foster the kind of fan participation that Trek did. Star Trek was based on a premise that could support a (theoretically) endless string of untold adventures; the episodic format, reinforced by years of reruns, gave the impression of a neverending adventure with static characters (I think we’ve all met people who won’t believe that there were only 78 episodes in total — thanks to reruns, it seemed like hundreds). Star Wars, by contrast, was a closed cycle; the characters formed a dynamic, resolving arc, against a interstellar backdrop that was there for more convenience and pizzazz than to be the premise of any particular adventure. It was a storyline based on closure, rather than on episodes. It doesn’t seem as intuitive an alternate universe in which to live.

Boy, just think of the “hero vs. vigilante” discussions around THAT dinner table.

But there are people who choose to live in that universe, and they’re the subject of this documentary. Comparison with Trekkies is inevitable, but there’s more difference between them than simply what block of the fandom neighborhood they survey. There’s a very apparent disparity in tone and depth between them, and it’s not in the current subject’s favor.

Director Tariq Jalil takes the lead-up to Episode I as his main focus, starting with the “epic” 42-day campout staged by fans in LA. He also collaborated with filmmakers around the country, having them shoot footage of the various lead-up activities in their necks of the woods. The result, much like in Trekkies, is largely “geeks on parade,” scores of obsessive fans who treat the Star Wars franchise as their own personal scripture (they said it, not me). Characters we meet include:

Here we see a Hutt in its larval stage…¹

• A comic-book store owner who feels completely comfortable dressing himself — and his entire family — in Superman and Batman costumes for their interview.
• A self-professed “professional Boba Fett impersonator” whose gimmick is that he’s a “disco” Fett — with gold chains around his neck, a turntable as his jetpack, and his own soundtrack, courtesy of his omnipresent boombox.
• “Jam Master Jedi,” who has taken the path of the Jedi as his guide as he records vaguely Star Wars-related raps and accompanies himself with some truly horrendous electric guitar.
• The Star Wars tribute band “Twin Sister,” whose musical skills are… well, Jam Master Jedi would feel right at home.

“The Force rocks mightily with this one…”

Yes, this is almost the mirror-universe version of Trekkies, but there’s one huge appeal that that documentary had that this one didn’t: The other side of the camera. Trekkies was hosted by Denise Crosby, someone who served as a perfect go-between for the fans and their idols, and fully half of the movie looked at the fandom phenomenon from the side of the actors who lucked into a job that made them idols to millions. AGFFA has none of that; there are some interviews with Christopher Vogler (the man who popularized the identification of the Star Wars saga with the Campbellian “hero’s journey” mythic archetype) and Roger Corman (who admired the trilogy both artistically and as crowd-pleasers), and short snippets from other famous people like Meatloaf and Joe Pesci… but there’s absolutely no one from LucasFilm; George Lucas is a distant prophet, not a participant. The closest we get is the guy who’s the agent for one of the original jawas.

But even further in the same vein, Tariq Jalil is an outsider to the fandom, and remains one throughout the shoot. He follows fans around as they converge on toy stores for first-day releases and clash with Trekkers mock-picketing the campout (I certainly hope they were mock-picketing — has a war ever been fought for a more ridiculous reason?), but he never really sees it from their side; he’s always ready with a snide aside about grown men trying to collect “what are essentially dolls” or to showcase the more ridiculous moments in a fan’s explanation of what “The Force” means to him.

Sometimes, even the Empire has to indulge its inner Rebel.

The single most priceless moment follows the long-awaited first screening of Episode I, to which some of the campers had brought tuxedos. The screen goes black… and then “2 hours 16 minutes later…” comes up, and we get fresh-from-the-cinema opinions from people who had waited six weeks with their asses on concrete to see what I consider one of the most colossal anti-climaxes of all time. Hey, I can accept the people who loved it as well as those who expressed some honest disappointment… but that one fan who ranted on about how nobody can judge the movie because it’s “Lucas’ vision” and not meant to pander to the fans? Hey, fella, don’t forget to wipe when you pull your head out from between your buttcheeks, okay?

And it’s here, fifty-four minutes into a total running time of an hour and four (with credits), that Jalil, still mystified by the whole phenomenon, decides that the only way to understand fandom is to psychoanalyze the fans instead of looking at the movies (which is odd, since he didn’t spend any time examining the movies themselves anyway). And what follows is probably five of the most insulting minutes of any documentary, in which he edits together any comment than any of these fans had made about their families and their relationship with their parents. Love your father, hate your father, never knew your father, it apparently doesn’t matter; you love Star Wars specifically because of your relationship with dad, instead of because of the movies themselves.

Geek fight! Geek fight!

Having that kind of knee-jerk Freudianism around sorta makes those muddled explanations of The Force sound sensible by comparison, doesn’t it? But the fans weren’t the ones manning the camera.

The whole thing’s an interesting cultural artifact, I suppose, but the video cover has it wrong. This isn’t “a must have companion for “star wars” fans!” Why would a fan enjoy a video whose entire point is, “I don’t understand you”?

A Notable Quotable:

I don’t believe in God, I don’t believe in any of the organized religions… But I believe in George Lucas. I believe in Star Wars. I believe in Spider-Man. I believe in Superman. Most of the other stuff, I think people made up because it makes them feel better.”

- the guy in the Superman suit, winning this week’s
Cognitive Dissonance Award

Some Notable Totables:

• body count: 0
• breasts: 0
• explosions: 0
• ominous thunderstorms: 0
• dwarfs: 4 (counted especially for Andrew Borntreger)
• actors who’ve appeared on Star Trek: 0

1. Fat jokes. I’m so lame.[back]