• Written, produced, and directed by Kirker Butler
• Starring
  • Lance Michael Barber
  • Mark Teich
  • Stephen Lynch
  • Rip Taylor

Way back in January, I dragged a friend to the TromaDance Festival in Park City to see a screening of Lethal Force, which I had already seen and reviewed but wanted to see with a live audience. The screening was running late, so we were treated to a few of the shorts which make up the majority of the TromaDance fare. Most were very amusing, though often in a sophomoric way. (Don’t knock sophomore, man; it was a great year.) And then The Confetti Brothers came on.

“We’re in our own little world, but that’s okay. They know us here.”

I laughed my ass off. So did Don, the friend I dragged. In fact, the entire room was ass-less by the time it was done. Lethal Force is a crowd-pleaser, but it probably wouldn’t have gotten as warm a reception as it got if The Confetti Brothers hadn’t effectively opened for it and warmed up the crowd. (Admit it, Alvin. Admit it!) So you bet I got my hands on a screener from filmmaker Kirker Butler, promising a write-up so glowing it’d be positively radioactive.

This nifty little mockumentary points an unflinching lense at the lives of the “Confetti Brothers” themselves, Michael (Lance Michael Barber) and Patrick O’Brien, continuing the family business begun by their great-grandfather Callahan O’Brien in 1924: Confetti made the old-fashioned way, by hand. Not only that, but their confetti is individually guaranteed for performance, or they’ll replace any piece for no cost except postage. That’s a guarantee.

“What do you mean, ‘Who are you?’ Isn’t it obvious I’m Batman?”

Straight-facedly, the brothers take us into their world of hand-cut, stress-tested confetti with a seriousness and devotion that’s almost admirable. Patrick, the older but more nervous brother, is the historian of the pair, making sure that they continue the proudfamily legacy in a manner of which their progenitors would be proud. Michael, younger and smoother, looks upon himself as an innovator, extending the grand tradition to meet the confetti needs of today’s people. Since the days of their grandfather Semper O’Brien, they’ve held onto the account of Rip Taylor, the comedic “King of Confetti” (kindly played by himself), but they’re looking to open up their prospects, firmly convinced that high-quality confetti is something that the average person really would be interested in.

In other words, these are two sorely self-deluded people. And they’re a hoot to laugh at.

To broaden their personalities a bit, we’re also privy to some of their other pursuits. Patrick has an extensive collection of, well, collectibles. He’s got some Star Wars stuff, and some Happy Days stuff, and some Presidential memorabilia, and other bits and pieces. He doesn’t seem to know what he’s collecting it for, but it’s still “pretty near and dear.” Granted, that’s a fairly common hobby. By contrast, Michael also moonlights as an insult comic — an insanely bad one. The scene of him, uncomfortably stammering through ill-timed and ill-aimed insults for a bored nightclub audience, is the comedic high point, the point at which most of the asses detached.

When you’ve come to the point that you have to beg money from a cowboy, it’s time sit back and re-evaluate some things.

But back to the biz: Michael’s astute marketing savvy has led them finally to “Confetti 95,” which they tout as “the first fully interactive confetti,” which is also “biodegradable and upgradable.” It’s pretty damned obvious that Michael’s oh-so-proud of himself for attaching so many buzzwords (“power words,” as he proclaims) to his bits of paper. Really, what more could one need to succeed fabulously in business?

They find out in Comedic High Point #2, where over a lunch of chicken wings they try to interest cowboy millionaire Stanley Funk (Stephen Lynch) in investing in the launch of Confetti 95 (which is actually not a reference to a year — although we never do find out any actual significance…). It takes Funk roughly 1.8 seconds to see through the buzzwords, the simplistic visual aid, the claims that this will “revolutionize the industry,” and toss them out on their keisters. (At which point they immediately start fighting with each other in the schoolyard like a couple of schoolchildren.)

There were some mighty scarring birthday parties around town that week.

How far will two people go to maintain their delusions of competence? Well, the denouement revolves around a liquidation of assets, a Clown Expo, and a demonstration of how dangerous confetti truly can be.

I don’t normally try to write a full-length review around a short film. But this one’s worth it. Butler has magnificently captured the entire concept of “the delusion of competency,” the inverse correlation between a person’s competence and that person’s ability to recognize one’s own level of competence. Michael’s smarmy reliance on buzzwords will ring bells for anyone who saw the dot.com collapse as an overdue return to sanity, but The Confetti Brothers isn’t meant specifically as an allegory for e-business. It’s more genrally a straightforward look at real-world ridiculousness, amplified to the point of absurdity. And it could very well be the funniest mockumentary since This is Spinal Tap.

Yes, it’s true. There’s always a religion with a sillier outfit than your own.

Some Notable Quotables:

“Confetti doesn’t just make itself.”

- Michael O’Brien

“Math is not an exact science.”

- Patrick O’Brien

“When God closes a window, he opens a door.”

- Patrick again

Some Notable Totables:

• body count: 0
• breasts: 0
• explosions: 0
• ominous thunderstorms: 0
• actors who’ve appeared on Star Trek: 0