- Directed by Charles Lamont
- Written by John Grant
- Starring
- Bud Abbott
- Lou Costello
- Marie Windsor
- Michael Ansara
A few months back, I weighed in on my thoughts on Abbott & Costello Meet the Invisible Man, which were somewhat less than glowing. I’m happy to say that the current entry in the “Abbott & Costello Kill Off the Universal Monsters” series is a much better ride, mainly because the Powers That Be realized that people don’t come to these movies for the plot; they come for the schtick. So up the schtick!
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Wait — they’re both wearing pith helmets! Now I’ll never tell them apart! |
Here, Abbott and Costello play Abbott and Costello (oddly enough, the credits list their characters as “Peter Patterson” and “Freddie Franklin,” even though they consistently refer to each other as “Abbott” and “Costello”), who happen to be in Egypt for no particular reason except the dubious fashion advantages of pith helmets. Looking for something to do, they overhear that one Dr. Zoomer (Kurt Katch) had recently discovered the mummy of the fabled Klaris, Prince of Evil, and from there he was expecting to be able to locate the equally-fabled treasure that Klaris is said to guard. Since Zoomer is looking for two dependable types to transport the mummy to the museum for him, our boys decide to apply for the job.
Unfortunately, an incredibly convoluted number of people are also after the mummy for one reason or another. There is the cult of Klaris, whose main purpose appears to be to guard the still-living mummy in order to protect the treasure (or something — they’re really about the worst-motivated cultists in film history). And there’s femme fatale Madame Rontru (Marie Windsor), who wants the mummy and the accompanying medallion to find the treasure herself. Then, once Zoomer turns up dead and our boys are implicated, there are also the police inspectors trying to get inside the plot.
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It never fails. As soon as you pick up your sarcophagus, there’s a knock at the door. |
And really, that’s all the plot that’s necessary. Because the rest is pure comedy — Abbott and Costello doing what they do best, at a pace that never lets you stop to think how nonsensical the storyline is. Unlike the rather anemic jokes from their time spent with the Invisible Man, here the routines keep flying fast and furious. Here’s a sampling:
- “Hide the corpse.” You know how this works; Costello finds Zoomer’s body and runs screaming to Abbott — but by the time they get back, the murderers have moved it. So then Costello finds it in its new location, and… Repeat ad infinitum. (Remember: If it’s funny once, it’s funny TEN THOUSAND TIMES.) I’d also like to note that this was ripped off shamelessly in the Tom Hanks vehicle The Man With One Red Shoe (with Jim Belushi standing in for Lou Costello), right down to the “body hanging on the back of the bathroom door” gag.
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Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can… |
- Having gotten their hands on the mummy’s medallion but not knowing what it is, they show it to the waiter in a restaurant. He naturally proclaims it “ee-vil,” and informs them that it is death to whoever possesses it. What follows is a ten-minute sequence of Abbott and Costello playing hot potato, slipping the medallion into each other’s pockets, burgers, etc. Eventually Lou ends up eating the medallion in the burger, which leads to further hijinx with an X-ray machine when Madame Rontru tries to locate it.
- A running gag: As Abbott and Costello disguise themselves as locals to escape the police, Lou starts playing a flute, and a snake pops its head up out of a nearby basket. Again, if it’s funny once…
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This proves it: There are worse police uniforms in the world than the Mounties’ |
- Too many mummies! Madame Rontru has her henchman Charlie (character actor Michael Ansara) dress in a mummy costume and replace Klaris in his sarcophagus to fool the cultists — and then Abbott dresses up to do the same, resulting in three practically identical mummies wandering the temple tunnels.
Plus faceslaps, buttkicks, hidden tunnels, chases, Three’s Company-esque misinterpretations, moving statues, doubletakes and grimaces, and a wordplay sketch reminiscent of “Who’s on first.” Plus some extraneous dance scenes (including an intergender combat dance as a restaurant floorshow that could be a feature in and of itself). It’s the final Abbott and Costello film with a monster, and by golly, they’ve finally got the formula right. It’s a lighthearted gem.
Some Notable Totables:
- body count: 1
- breasts: 0
- explosions: 1
- ominous thunderstorms: 0
- charmed snakes: 4
- actors who’ve appeared on Star Trek: 1
- Michael Ansara (Charlie) played the Klingon commander “Kang” in the classic episode “Day of the Dove,” then reprised the role in a couple of DS9 episodes and a Voyager episode
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