I’m the only person I know who does this: I keep all the fortunes from fortune cookies. Really. I’ve got a little plastic sleeve in my wallet,and I put them in there. Why? Partly because it’s always fun to whip them out and play the “___ in bed” game. Partly because they’re cheap to collect.
And partly because I have this secret desire — that when I die, someone will discover them, meander through them, and realize, “Holy cow, these describe Nathan’s life exactly!” The much-denigrated school of Fortune Cookie Wisdom will be vindicated.
(Okay, so it’s also one of those kitschy celebrations of pop culture ephemera. You got me.)
In any case, I present to you the contents of my fortune cookie fortune collection; further additions will be made as acquired. (Which will be fairly often; the Empire Chinese Buffet is near my office, where $5.25 will buy you the all-you-can-eat lunch special. I gotta tell you, those meatball-stuffed mushroom caps are to die for. The proprietors quake in their boots when they see me approach…) I make no ironic comments (this ain’t the Institute of Official Cheer, bub), though you can easily fill in the blanks. Just lean back and bask in their wisdom.
And lay off the giggles when you play the “___ in bed” game.
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 That’s right — the same fortune twice in a row, from two different restaurants. Weirded me out… |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
