Mailbag 12/2005 - 04/2006
Subject: Day of the dead poster mishap
Date: Sat, 08 Apr 2006
Name: Evan
I love your website its awesome.On your day of the dead review you put a poster from the movie ‘Rest in Pieces‘.This poster is on the left 4th from the top.just letting you know.
While the artwork is indeed from Rest in Pieces, it was also co-opted for this foreign-language release of Day of the Dead (I believe it was Turkish). Attached is the larger version of the poster, where you can read the credits.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Old salt question
Date: Sat, 08 Apr 2006
Name: Andrew Sherrod
In your “creature from the Black Lagoon” review you wonder if a freshwater sailor can be an old salt. I think the proper term should be “old silt” for Amazon mariners (though since it isn’t an ocean ro sea, is “mariner” a correct term? Ah, the headaches applying ocean-going terms to big rivers…)
An old silt of a rivergator, perhaps? A silty old Amazonaut? I’ll leave the question for more expansive minds than mine.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Bride of the Monster
Date: Sat, 08 Apr 2006
Name: Carl FinkIn my own review of BRIDE, I got a lot of laughs by referring to the “giant freshwater exploding octopus from Loch Ness.” You refer to Dr. Vornoch “breeding” the creatures, but I distinctly recall him actually having brought the cephalopod with him from Scotland, where he presumably found it.
I have to say, though, the inexplicable way it detonated at the end really made the movie.
Good review.
I dunno, I just watched it again last night with my kids (training ‘em up right, I am), and I didn’t pick up on any importation of critters. I think that he just does the monster thing as a side project to his atomic superman work, something to do in his downtime while waiting for dumbass hunters to wander to his secluded location.
And I also understood it to be Vornoff, not the octopus, which exploded at the end (you know, that whole “atomic energy” thing). But I’m obviously applying too much thought to an Ed Wood feature.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Carrie Review
Date: Thu, 30 Mar 2006
Name: Lawrence Allen
It’s a bit late at night right now, so this is probably not going to be the most informative, well-thought out, or even well-written letter you’ve received. Still, your review of Carrie has prompted me to immediate action. While I agree with your opinion on the whole, I have one major problem with the movie that’s been bothering me for a while. Why I’ve chosen to air it here is beyond me, but on the other hand, it’s probably as good a place as any to bring up my grievance. Quite frankly, I think Sissy Spacek is too pretty to make her role as Carrie White really work. I really can’t imagine a girl who looks like that never having been asked out. She’s more beautiful than most of the popular girls that attend my school, and although looks aren’t the only thing that dictates popularity and her general comportment would probably deflect much of the attention her looks would attract, it still seems likely that she’d be surrounded by boys looking to ingratiate themselves with her as a prelude to asking her out. In short, I don’t buy her as a friendless outcast. Not enough to ruin the movie, of course, but even so, it’s irritating.
Sincerely,
BLL
P.S. Also, William Katt’s hair struck me as so funny that I couldn’t stop myself from laughing for approximately 10 seconds every time it showed up on screen. Needless to say, this detracted somewhat from the film’s shocks.
I don’t have any complaints against Spacek in that regard; as beautiful as she can be, she’s an unconventional beauty, and thus can easily be made to look “off,” especially with no makeup and unbrushed hair (in contrast to her co-star Nancy Allen, who had a very conventional cuteness and thus REALLY couldn’t have pulled it off).
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Movies
Date: Wed, 29 Mar 2006
Name: Adam Macdonald
Hey Nathan,
I’ve been a regular visitor to the site for about a year now :D i was just wondering, i read your review of “Humanoids from the deep” and i was wondering if its been re-made or something because i collect horror films and b-movies and i own “humanoids from the deep” but the one you’ve reviewed is completely different from mine (and probably less cheesy) There is a film i thought you might be interested in, if you haven’t already seen it called “Deep Rising” starring Treat Williams and Famke Janssen. Here is the link to IMDB’s summary of it: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118956/ It’s basically giant monster film but entertaining nevertheless (be warned, ultra cheesy ending :D)
Anyway keep up the good work!
Adam Macdonald
Hi, Adam. Yes, Humanoids From the Deep was remade. The one I’ve reviewed is the 1980 original; it was remade in 1996 as a TV-movie for the “Roger Corman Presents” series on Showtime. I believe they used the same monster suits as the original, as well as some of the footage. (You know Corman — any film used only once is wasted.)
And don’t worry, Deep Rising is on the list of movies to review. Someday.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: New Gladiators review
Date: Mon, 27 Mar 2006
Name: sang_nordique
“But place the poor slob in a production where he’s supposed to communicate a linear plotline, and he’s as lost as a Newfoundlander in a round room, trying to find a corner to pee in.”
That’s harsh. A round room would trip anybody out.
Regards,
Newfoundland
Yeah, I know. I grew up on Prince Edward Island, so I grew up with Newfie jokes, and it just doesn’t seem the same when I take out the regional bias.
Nathan
Subject: dino debate et al
Date: Mon, 27 Mar 2006
Name: mr.smitty
Just read the Dino Debates. . . good stuff. All that pointless Hitler crap gave me a great germ of an idea for a movie (feel free to steal it):
Dino-riding Nazi-Zombies. With flamethrowers.
That’d take a lot of training for the dinosaurs, though. Especially with a putative carrion-eater like T-Rex, the smell of that delicious zombie on his back would probably drive him crazy.
(Yes, I know: Thinking too much.)
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: About ALICJA
Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2006
Name: VIORICA
HI,
I read your comment,I saw this movie (twice)when I was 20yo but I want to see it again.How can it be possible?Can I buy it?
I’m from Romania,here I can’t find something so old.Can you help me?
Viorica
Your best bet is to watch for it on eBay. That’s where the copy I watched came from.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Pic from Thrill Seekers
Date: Sun, 12 Mar 2006
Name: Catherine Diedrich
Hey there.
I run the Julian Richings fan site, and have never been able to find a pic of him from that movie. And you have one on your site! I don’t know if it’s your screencap or where you got it, but would you mind if I added it to the gallery on our site? We’re over at http://www.julianrichings.com. You’d get full credit with a link to your site.
thanks!
Julian Richings has a fan site??? Just when you though you’ve seen everything…
Sure, use the screencap, and God bless.
Nathan
Subject: Kick Ass!
Date: Thu, 09 Mar 2006
Name: Matthew Roberts
Hi Nathan
Just to say thanks for a kick ass site. I’ve been a long time fan and was wondering if you were ever gonna review any anime films?
Thanks, Matt Roberts, England
PS am i the only one who thought Bad Taste was better than the LOTR and Kong put together?
Hi, Matthew. I don’t have any plans to review anime (outside of very rare exceptions, such as Jack and the Witch) for a couple of reasons:
1) There are plenty of sites which devote themselves to nothing but anime, and handle the job much better than a more general-purpose site like mine could.
2) I really don’t watch anime to begin with. That’s not a criticism of it; in fact, I don’t let myself watch anime because I can’t risk finding another groovy genre to obsess over.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Which is worse?
Date: Wed, 08 Mar 2006
Name: Greg Arden
Hi. I’m a big fan of your site. But I don’t envy your job. I’ll explain.
You gave “I Stand Alone” 5 beakers. I fully agree with you there. Yet, you only gave “Bangers” 1.
Call me crazy, but I’ve seen both of them.(in fact, to quote Arnie from T-2, “I know now why you cry.”) But wouldn’t you think “Bangers” deserves at least 3 or 4 beakers? And some of the other movies you have reviewed were given but one beaker, when many of them could have deserved two…or more? By giving “Bangers” and “Bad Magic“, for example, one beaker, wouldn’t that be implying that they are better movies than “I Stand Alone“? “I Stand Alone” is make-you-wanna-try-your-new-alarm-clock-in-the-bathtub-bad, but that’s subconsciously implying that “Bad Magic” and “Bangers” has some sort of merit! I know you mean well, but even the thought of such an idea is disturbing! Just want to make sure that all things bad are at an even keel. Because I don’t wanna rent another “Hard Rock Zombies” or “Unnaturally Born Killer“, under the impretion that I’ll have any sort of dignity afterwards. Or will to live.
But seriously, I love your site, your scripts are awesome(especially “Alone” & “Brain Invaders”!), and if the movies get any worse(if that’s possible), just remember that there’s always religion.
Your biggest fan,
Greg
.P.S.: If any one of those rap-scalions from any of those other B-movie websites recommends you/gives you a French movie called “Baise Moi“, slap them promptly in the face and then run like hell. Then get some Jack Daniels and forget the name of the movie. Seriously. And if you haven’t already slapped them for bringing you gems like “Meatcleaver Massacre“(yes…I’ve seen it.), than you should. And if you haven’t already started drinking, then you should.
You’re right; there is a certain inequity in the beaker scores. My reasoning, as far as I have any, is thus: Bangers is a bad movie that you have every reason to believe to be bad going into it. It’s a shot-on-video feature about zombie rapists; who would champion such an atrocity? I Stand Alone, on the other hand, has no shortage of proponents and flag-wavers in the arthouse-indie crowd, who would have you believe it to be stunning and deep and meaningful and thought-provoking. My multi-beaker score was as much an expression of rage against those who would try to convince you that the movie is high art rather than high dung, as it was a measure of the movie’s quality. And trust me, everyone in my circle knows better than to recommend French cinema to me unless it’s honestly and truly good (like Amelie).
As for the drink… Alas, as a good Mormon boy, alcohol is an option not open to me. But I’ve found that thumping myself soundly in the temple with a ballpeen hammer is an effective substitute.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Japan/Italy
Date: Wed, 08 Mar 2006
Name: mr.smitty
1.) You were a Mormon missionary in Japan? Cool. Who did you focus on, the Japanese or ex-pats? If you ask me (you didn’t, but too bad) you can mention religion as much as you want. It’s your website, and they’re your reviews.
2.) I love Italian rip-offs of Conan/Mad Max, and your site is really flush with that sort of thing. Where’d you find a copy of Ironmaster? For that matter, where do you find any of your movies? Maybe you already outlined that, but I missed it.
Cold Fusion and Stomp Tokyo are THE BEST review sites EVER.
1) I trained to speak Japanese for my mission, but we’d talk to whoever would listen to us: native Japanese, ex-pat Americans, Filipino or Korean laborers, etc.
2) Many of the more recent movies I’ve reviewed (especially the micro-budget stuff) was sent to me as screeners, and I always try to link back to my sources for those; and a few movies are ones I’ve sought out by special order. But the great majority are simply flicks I’ve found in rental stores. If you want to find unknown movies for rent, go to a mom’n'pop store, or at the very least a Hollywood Video big enough that they haven’t felt the need to switch out all of their stock for DVDs, and go trolling among the VHS tapes. That’s where Ironmaster was, along with most of its Italian schlock brethren.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: saludos para brit y lee
Date: Mon, 06 Mar 2006 Name: guillermo guemes gomez
hola brit y lee espero se encuentren muy bien ya que son mis mejores deseos espero puedan contactarme ya que hay zonas que ustedes no conocieron en mis ultimos viajes wn la zona de cordoba veracruz mexico y fue muy interesante algunos de estos videos se los quedo jaime mausan esperro poder contactarlos algun dia y el dia que quieran los llevo a ese lugar con cariño sinceramente su amigo memo
1) I don’t know Brit or Lee.
2) I don’t know you.
3) I don’t know Spanish.
4) I don’t know why I’m responding.
Nathan
Subject: Rana- The Legend of Shadow Lake
Date: Mon, 27 Feb 2006
Name: Doreen Moze-Ryan
I thought this movie was long forgotten never thought my my B-move past would not come up to haunt me. And here it is…Rana- The Legend of Shadow Lake. I am embarrassed to say that I was an actor ( or least I tried to be) in that movie. ”Chris” was character I was the one with the wondering zipper on my suba suit. (Doreen Moze) And yes I totally agree with your comments that movie was the silliest thing I have ever done. My grand children laugh every time they see grandma on the TV.
Doreen
Hold your head high; there are certainly worse legacies to leave.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: ‘Last Best Chance‘ review
Fri, 24 Feb 2006
Name: Carl
”..a condemnation I earn by the cardinal sin of believing that their malicious, petty, vindictive version of God doesn’t deserve my worship..”
I’m neither Christian nor Muslim, and I absolutely love your website and the hours of free entertainment it’s provided, but I couldn’t be silent on this.
I’m not denying your right to say it, I’m just suggesting it may have been an ill-advised and inappropriate remark.
That said, thank you for your website, and may your fantastic reviews continue.
Many regards,
Carl.
Thanks for the candor, Carl. As I think I made clear in the review, I am speaking specifically of the theology of al-Qaeda and similar extremists, not of Muslims as a whole; I have similar contempt for the perpetrators of the Spanish Inquisition, Fred Phelps, and anyone else who uses their faith as the banner for small-minded hate.
I don’t know the standards by which my statement is inappropriate; anyone who thinks that civilians (infidels and Muslims alike) are worthy of death because they school their women and don’t kiss the feet of the right sword-brandishing imams really lowers the bar for what’s considered an appropriate comment, in my book.
But hey, at least I didn’t draw a cartoon. Words are one thing, but pictures?!? THAT’S an affront to Allah!
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: “The Barbarians” review
Date: Mon, 20 feb 2006
Name: Rex Ford, Jr.
This was a positively hilarious and right-on-the-money review. I was around the Barbarian Brothers when this movie was being prepped, and it was beyond me how a script like this could actually get made. It might have helped if the accredited screenwriter actually had a sense-of-humor, but as we all know this isn’t necessarily a requirement for people making comedy films. Give “The Barbarian Brothers” credit for doing what they could with Silke’s script. Though the real responsibility for this disaster belongs to Golan/Globus. How could they let the Twins do this script when they, the Barbarians, had the potential to be Cannon’s next franchise? I told the Twins, no, don’t do this script. But they rightfully felt let’s get some credits before we start worrying about the quality of the scripts. Which made sense to me.
I also give the Twins a lot of props for having the utter confidence, the outright balls, to think they could actually DO something, on-camera, with the little Silke offered them.
I guess the only question remaining for me to answer is, how does this movie compare to Double Trouble (1992)? I’ll have to look into that someday…
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Severe Injuries
Date: Thu, 09 Feb 2006
Name: Charlie Thank you for reviewing Severe injuries. I never laughed so hard as when I read your review. It seriously made me tear up from laughing. I swear sometimes I love the bad reviews better than the good ones. Keep up the excellent work!
-Charlie Fleming, Melvin Hubble in Severe Injuries
p.s.s If you hated Severe Injuries you’ll really hate my short Cannibal Aneurysm!
Thanks for writing, Charlie; I’m always glad to hear from someone who doesn’t hate me for panning a movie they were involved in.
Nathan
Subject: I now feel your pain
Sat, 11 Feb 2006
Name: Tony Salazar
Nathan,
First off, I love your site, and often check it out for updates and to see how you’re going to shred the latest Corman/Pyun/Band film. Anyway, onto the reason I’m writing.
Recently I was at Wal-Mart with my wife, rifling through the $5.00 bargin bin of DVD’s, when she uncovered a DVD called “The Undead Rising”. I turned the box over to see it had three movies on it. “Revolt of the Zombies“, “Night of the Living Dead“, and “Hard Rock Zombies“. This of course could not be passed up espeically when the listing for “Hard Rock Zombies” contains the line “…a sadistic family of freaks led by Adolf Hitler.”
My jaw dropped and I said, “Holy crap, I’ve heard of this movie. Nathan…the guy that runs one of the b-movie sites reviewed this!”
After getting home I logged on and checked out your site to make sure I was right, and there it was with a “cold” rating. So after putting my son to bed the other ngiht, I grabbed the disc and said to myself “It can’t be as bad as Nathan says it is.” And I was right.
It was worse.
After five minutes (the opening scene and the olbigatory generic “rock” song) I said “Dear God, this movie sucks.” And then proceeded to watch the rest of it, my wife and I MST3King the hell out of it (when we weren’t laughing hysterically).
I don’t know what was worse. The powerwalking Zombie band, the fact that the drummer for the band didn’t even bother to look like he was trying to drum in time to the soundtrack, the horrid acting, or the fact that in the “gas chamber” you could see the cameraman’s shadow as the zombies died.
However since NOTLD is also on this disc, I suppose it’s not all bad. I haven’t watched “Revolt” yet, and after reading your review, I’m not sure I want to, but now I truly understand what you (and all the other b-masters) go through when you dare to pop these movies into your VCR’s and DVD players.
Keep up the good work,
Tony Salazar (slowly becoming a b-movie addict myself)
PS-As a side note, last summer, I saw a kid in a Bibleman costume (like I said this was in the middle of the summer, nowhere near Halloween!). And I never would have known what the costume was had it not been for your site. Thanks to you (and the other b-masters), I now know more about crap movies than I ever cared to. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.
I will candidly admit, I have only finished some incredibad movies by reminding myself that I get to write a review and take it out behind the woodshed.
My fellow B-Masters and I are like Lovecraftian protagonists, risking our own sanity to protect humanity at large. (Futilely, in most cases.) Ia! Ia! Shug-niggurath etc.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: The Lord of the Rings
Date: Sun, 05 Feb 2005
Email address: johnnyace3000
Yes rankin & bass may have rushed through the story with break-neck speed, but they didn’t make drastic changes to the characters personnalities like “pete” did. Nor, did they change the story line that turned Aragon into a weak, unsure pawn of Gandalf. And tell me, just when did Frodo and Sam get cartted off to Osgilath by Faramir. “pete” got so much wrong it became a totally different story.
“Got wrong”? Perhaps if you define Jackson’s role as that of a transliterator between text and screen. But the movie trilogy wasn’t meant as a Cliff Notes version of the novel; it was meant as an adaptation, which means that things must necessarily change because of the different capabilities, strengths and weaknesses of the two media in question. Some of the changes didn’t work as well as others (I found Arwen’s increased role not to have enough substance to justify its inflation), but they were good-faith attempts to take a story which works well at over a thousand pages in text and make it work in less than ten hours of cinema.
And I think that charges that the movies are “a totally different story” are foundless hyperbole. The story is still that of the simplest, least likely people become agents of a last stand against forces of evil which threaten to overcome a weakening good. I love the book, I love the movies, and I reject in the strongest possible language the implication that love of one necessitates a rejection of the other out of misguided loyalty.
Thanks,
Nathan
subject: GODZILLA: FINAL WARS
Date: Fri, 03 Feb 2006
Name: Stalker
Okay, I obvioulsy wasn’t forceful enough last time.
It’s quite obvious you like Ryuhei Kitamura, and it’s quite obvious you like Godzilla. SO WHY THE HELL HAVE YOU NOT REVIEWED “GODZILLA: FINAL WARS“?!?!
Its got the most monsters ever to appear in a Toho film, its got actual high-quality human fights, its got Kitamura directing, and dammit, ITS GOT DON FRYE, MAN!
Also, its going for $10 at Wal-Mart.
Always watching…
Stalker
Mostly… um… just cuz?
Nathan
Subject: Night of the Creeps… Dead Alive?
Date: Tue, 31 Jan 2006
Name: Mark S
Am I the only one who thinks Dead Alive is a big homage to Night of the Creeps? The dorky guy trying to bag the hot chick (well maybe it was the other way around in Dead Alive, but same difference) with the weird typish music in the background during their scenes. In fact, the music is what made me think of the whole Dead Alive scenario.
Then there was that whole “massacre” at the big house (here it was outside, but i think I’m onto something here). And of course, the whole lawnmower execution in both films.
I just thought the two were a lot of like. Except Dead Alive had that whole gore factor going on.
Now I ordered my bootleg copy of Night of the Creeps on eBay. So I only seen the ‘video version’. The uncut version is on here as well, but it freezes all the time. So what are the differences between the two versions, just the ending? What’s the ending in the TV version?
I don’t know if I’d go so far as to point out a causal connection between the two; the lawnmower is suggestive, but everything else points more to a common love of old campy movies as source material. You could find a lot more dissimilarities than similarities between the two movies. Not that they wouldn’t make an excellent double feature…
As for the differences between the two versions, there may be a couple of edits here and there (the TV version, obviously, had to pass the muster for broadcast TV), but the main difference is in the ending. In the TV version (it’s been over fifteen years since I last saw it, so apologies for fogginess), instead of the “zombie dog” freezeframe bit, the last shot is of zombified Detective Cameron pushing his way out of his grave as his skull splits open — but before the slugs can get away, the spaceship from the prolog swoops in and cleans them up belatedly.
Nathan
Subject: Science!…?
Date: Sun, 22 Jan 2006
Name: Ronald
Hi. Idly curious here: I’ve noticed that on several movie review sites (including yours, I think, although I don’t recall which review I saw it in), some reviewers will caption an image of mad scientistry/spaceship warp drive/etc. with the simple exclamation: “Science!” It’s also come up in a few episodes of MST3K. I have the vague idea that this was part of the refrain of a song from the 1980s; am I correct? If not, does it come from anywhere in particular? Just wondering. Thanks.
Sincerely yours,
Ronald
The song you’re thinking of is Thomas Dolby’s “She Blinded Me With Science” (circa 1983), an essential for any iPod. However, I must admit my that my usage of the “There must be SCIENCE going on here!” punchline is stolen directly from Lyz at And You Call Yourself a Scientist.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: I’m a psychologist & I can cure you
Date: Fri, 20 Jan 2006
Name: Frank Kowal III
Hey Nathan,
I’ve been a long-time reader of the site, and you’ve turned me onto some great films (and helped steer me clear of some others). Thanks again for reviewing a copy of my film so favorably, even if my latex-wrapped hinder was the cause of some disturbing images.
Because of that, I just had to let you know that after reading the review of “Alice“, I have since been unable to get the song “I’m a Psychologist” out of my head. It just keeps repeating over and OVER AND OVER… Maybe it’s because I’m the same nationality as the filmmakers, I don’t know. In any case, thanks for many enjoyable hours of reviews, and I’ll be back for more.
Where’s my meds?
-Frank
Fortunately, I’ve got a Bollywood song I can whip out of the mental archives to banish any other lingering melody. Complete with dance moves, naturally.
(And you should be grateful that I didn’t post the “Small Talk” song. It’s so bad, John McCain would be all over my ass.)
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Alice Review
Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006
Name: Michael
Hello
I am a Polish fan of your site, and I’m happy to see you reviewing a Polish movie.
Im writing to tell you that both Jerzy Gruza and Jacek Bromski are known in Poland as comedy directors and sreenwriters.
As for the weirdness of the movie, well I guess your parialy right about the “language barrier” factor but our genre cinema has always been, shall we say… “interesting”.
This applies especially to the movies made when we were still a part of the eastern block (or Empire of Evil as some say). In sf or horror movies from that era interesting ideas and good acting often sit uncomfortably beside small budgets and sfx that would give Roger Corman heartburn.
The fact that many of those movies (especially those made by Peter Szulkin) can be read as paraboles for totalitarism only makes them weirder, especialy for a foreigner who “isnt in on the joke”. If you’d like to check out some of our genre movies i could recommend a few, but i dont know if you’d be interested.
Anyways, sorry for the long rant/lecture and for spelling and grammar mistakes (my written English is a biy rusty). Your website is great as always, although I still can’t decide wether I like the old or the new design more. Keep up the good work.
Michael
“Surrealism sticks it to the Evil Empire!” I love it.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Don’t Look in the Basement/S.F. Brownrigg
Date: Tue, 17 Jan 2006
Name: Kristofer Upjohn
Hi, Nathan:
I’m a regular reader (and also review movies online - you sent a young filmmaker my way a while back, as a matter of fact) and was quited pleased to see you review “Don’t Look in the Basement.” I think it’s probably the definition of “minor classic,” at least for fans of 70s grindhouse cinema. I agree that it’s kind of a mediocre film but there’s just something about it and it certainly boasts a spooky-as-hell atmosphere. It’s a fun bit of fare for those grindhouse fans I was telling you about.
I’m also sort of a half-ass fan of S.F. Brownrigg, also having his “Don’t Open the Door,” a semi-gothic thriller that also focuses on atmosphere and weird characters and features some of the same cast … well, at least one guy I know of for sure. I have a VHS tape of “Keep My Grave Open,” which I’ve only watched half of so far; it doesn’t seem up to the previously mentioned film. And I’m anxiously awaiting the release of “Scum of the Earth” (aka “Poor White Trash 2“), which is, if I’m correct, being remastered, etc., by Grindhouse Releasing, appropriately enough. These are the four horror films Brownrigg, a Texan, turned out in the 70s. Anyway, thanks for allowing me my brief dissertation on Brownrigg. If you ever catch up on your 11-12,000 movies, you might take a gander at “Don’t Open the Door.” I’m just not sure what’s up with all the “dont’s”.
One of these days, I’ll do a Video Binge of all the “cautionary” titles: Don’t Open the Door, Don’t Look in the Attic, Don’t Torture a Duckling, Don’t Eat Mayo That’s Been Left Out Overnight, etc.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Just a general “I like it!”
Date: Sun, 15 Jan 2006
Name: Shawn
Your reviews make me laugh, and I don’t laugh much because college sucks. Thanks.
Thanks, but I have to warn you: College rocks compared to what comes next. (I know you don’t believe me, and that’s okay; I didn’t believe the people who told me when I was in college.)
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: krull mistakes
Date: Fri, 13 Jan 2006
Name: lee
the fire mares are not mares.
I will admit, I didn’t look too hard at the dangly parts. Perhaps they were equine crossdressers.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Young Einstein
Date: Fri, 06 Jan 2006
Name: Sandra
YOUNG EINSTEIN got the most mixed reviews of any movie I can remember. Nobody is indifferent: People either loathe it with a passion or find it absolutely hilarious. I fall into the latter category. How could anyone not laugh at things like the kitten pie or lines like “Greg Aspirin - I’m in for drugs”? However, humour is a very personal thing: some people actually think Eddie Murphy is funny ! Or Jim Carrey! (Note: Gary caught me typing this and said its the worst thing I could do, as you will undoubtedly sell my email address to spammers. I hope he’s wrong about that.)
Oh, I sold your address long ago; you should have a very substantial circle of Nigerian correspondents by now.
And both Murphy and Carrey CAN be funny, if given the right material. (Oddly enough, for both of them, it’s cartoony stuff; Murphy does well in the Shrek and Mulan movies, and Carrey’s funniest movie has to be The Mask.) But the idea that an actor who can be funny when working with funny material is thus funny in all roles is, of course, one of the financial sinkholes of Hollywood.
(Great. Now I’ve got a hankering to see Vampire in Brooklyn.)
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Young Einstein
Date: Thu, 05 Jan 2006
Name: Rick
Hi Nate,
Boy, your review of “Young Einstein” really brought back some fond/funny memories for me. When the movie was released, I was working at a movie theater. After a screeningf at our corporate offices, our district manager and several of the other execs decided that “Young Einstein” was going to be “the” big movie of the summer. Yep, in the year that brought us “Rainman,” “Roger Rabbit,” and “Big,” “Young Einstein” was going to be the biggie.
It was at that moment, I realized that our corporate executives had absolutely no idea what the public really wants to see on screen.
Rick
To be fair, you can’t just blame the executives; Mr. Serious and his compatriots were obviously afflicted with the same ignorance.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Slaughtered
Date: Wed, 04 Jan 2006
Name: Nicole
I’ve been a fan of your site for years. I always enjoy your reviews, but the grand finale to your review of Slaughtered actually made me cheer out loud. (Scared the Cockatiel so bad she fell off her perch. Heh.)
What a pointless, mean-spirited little turd of a movie. Everyone involved in it should be ashamed of themselves. It’s the kind of movie that made me want to take a shower just having READ about it. And possibly spray my computer screen with Lysol.
I’m a fan of horror and gore flicks. Hellraiser and Night of the Demons are two of my all-time favorites and I’ll even happily sit through Nailgun Massacre provided enough friends and alcohol are involved. But I’d rather watch a Little House on the Prarie marathon while being forced to drink diet Shasta than ever watch Slaughtered.
If you still have the pieces of the disc, give them a good stomp from me, and keep up the good work.
~Nicole
Hey, don’t knock Little House on the Prairie. I live for the moments when Pa Ingalls socks someone in the jaw.
As for the DVD, it has gone out with the trash. I don’t even need to worry about it contaminating the groundwater in a landfill somewhere, because all of our garbage goes to an incineration plant. So unless its as virulent as the trioxin in the Return of the Living Dead movies…
Oh dear.
Nathan
Subject: Something more on “Slaughtered”
Date: Wed, 04 Jan 2006
Name: Dan
Heres some data I found out about this “KKHRYST” character…apparently he has a band:
www.mysticalvibrations.com/KHHRYST.html
slaughtered.c47media.com/bios/Chris.html
Yeah the Dani Filth/Manson wannabe seems like tries too hard…and to think here I am carefully writing my own screenplays making sure that plot, character and flow are precise and coherent while shit like that gets made and distributed…a sad sad world
Don’t feel so bad. Eventual distribution of a no-budget video by an outfit like Brain Damage Films really doesn’t qualify as “success” in any real sense.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Shockheaded?
date: Sat, 31 Dec 2005
Name: Mark
How did you get your hands on a copy of the movie Shockheaded? Amazon does not carry it, and Piranhaa doesn’t seem to have an ordering function on their website.
Also, have you seen the movie Undead? You should put up a review of it, I’d like to see what you have to say about it. Very weird movie, aliens and zombies, what a mix. I’d like to see a review of Dead & Breakfast, too. They apparently used 30 gallons of fake blood, and didn’t fill any tubs, sinks, etc with it. Besides the “Club Dread” feel it gives you, it’s pretty good.
PS, I’d also like to see reviews of Man With the Screaming Brain and Cannibal! The Musical. But I guess in due time…
Shockheaded: Eric sent me a screener. He’s still fine-tuning the final cut — I know he had to reshoot one scene because he didn’t get a model release from one actress — but he plans to release it sometime relatively soon.
As for the other four titles, they’re all on my list of 12,000+ movies to watch and review before I die. When will I get to them? That’s anyone’s guess…
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: A good film for you…
Date: Sat, 31 Dec 2005
Name: Stalker
Seeing as how you’ve been getting awful film after another recently, I thought this may help to wash out the bad taste.
Now, I’ve found Wal-Mart has the disc for $10. A STEAL, sir!
Also, to wash out the bad taste of Sony’s cover, I have found this: http://www.tohokingdom.com/web_pages/dvd_covers.htm
I hope this helps you,
Stalker
Yes indeedie, I do need to watch myself some Godzilla. I’m not exactly sure when I can squeeze it in, but I’ll see what I can do.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: About Raptor
Date: Fri, 16 Dec 2005
Name: Maribel
It’s not really a follow-up to the Carnosaur series, although it might as well have been, but it’s a different film with the same basic premise.
Well, neither of the two official Carnosaur sequels really followed from the original anyway. I think the only reason it wasn’t released as Carnosaur 4 is that it would have looked even too chintzy for Roger Corman to have a fourth installment that was mostly recycled footage from the previous three.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Hard Rock Zombies is chilly - lukewarm at worst(best)!!
Tue, 13 Dec 2005
Name: Johnny
Nathan,
I’m just writing to question why your review of Hard Rock Zombies places it in the Cold category. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not contending anything so ludicrous as this film’s proper place among the “Hot”, nor that it deserves to be called good or even mediocre. With only the sorriest tatters of a story to hold the scenes together, and not a smidgeon of logic to bind up the story, it’s a haphazard and directionless piece of cinema at best.
That said, I think that the Hitler revelation scene alone, and the manager guy’s accompanying shocked cry of “It’s YOU!”, squarely push this film up and out of the bottom 5%. Add to that a werewolf who forgoes teeth and claws for switchblade knives and a weedwacker with a circular saw blade to replace the little tines, and you’ve got something that doesn’t suck nearly as bad as the trash that makes up the bulk of your Cold category (Abraxus, goth movies, poorly-executed drama & so on).
Perhaps most intriguing, your actual written review of the film wasn’t nearly as harsh as your reviews of some of the films that are not recognized as being Cold on your site; In stark contrast to your usual habit of crediting Cold films as failing on every level, you actually attributed a few brilliant moments to Hard Rock Zombies. So please, for the sake of pointlessly creative death scenes and the use of American foreign policy as a punchline, recognize this film for what it is - A piece of something somewhere in the middling 90%.
- Johnny
Hey, I gotta go with my gut. When I feel that bilious sensation of hatred that comes on the far side of despair — of wishing ill-fortune on not only the cast and crew, but also their extended families — I gotta mark it “Cold.” It’s capricious, yes, but that’s just the kind of fellow I am.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Jack and the Witch
Date: Fri, 9 Dec 2005
Name: John O’Dowd
Dear Mr. Shumate,
I just read your article on Cold Fusion about Jack and the Witch. Like you, I saw the movie when I was about 10, then never heard of or saw it again. My nephew saw it with me and he remembered the title.
We have been searching for copies of the movie. Thanks to your article I found coolstuff.com.
Please tell me though; how was the quality of the video you got from them? The only other copy I can find is the Japanese language dvd which is worthless to me without the English dubbing.
I hope you can take a moment to respond. I would greatly appreciate it.
Another Jack fan,
Jack O’Dowd
The picture quality is… watchable. It’s sort of like watching it on broadcast TV (remember that?) if your aerial antenna is out of alignment, or your next door neighbor is running power tools. And the edge of the print is faded all the way through.
That said, it’s still your best bet for finding it in English. And for those of us who grew up on black-and-white TVs, it’s still not too much of a sacrifice.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Informed Attributes
Date: Tue, 06 Dec 2005
Name: Peter Stone
I’ve been a regular visitor to your site for some time now, and I was wondering if you could answer a question for me. Your glossary of terms includes the term “informed attribute.” I’ve seen this term used a lot on the internet–sometimes attributed to Gene Siskel–but I don’t know where it comes from. Do you have a source for the term? I’m writing something relating to literary/film criticism, and would like to use the term. I wanted to make sure I give credit where credit is due.
What? You want someone on the internet to DOCUMENT something??
Unfortunately, my knowledge of the term only goes back to other B-movie reviewers. Specifically, I picked it up from Ken Begg of Jabootu.com (he defines the term here). If you contact him, he might be able to give you another link in the chain of attribution.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: jack and the witch
Date: Mon, 05 Dec 2005
Name: ken
am trying to find a copy of jack and the witch, found it was reviewed on your site, would you maybe know where I could find a copy? any info would be helpfull, thank’s ken
Did you try anything as straightforward as clicking the link in the review to where I got my copy? Because they still carry it.
http://www.coolstuffvideos.com/
Nathan
Subject: Bubba Ho-Tep ?
Date: Sun, 27 Nov 2005
Name: Milos
Hello Nathan,
been a fan of your writing for a long while already, and I really enjoy the reviews you write. However, when are you gonna review Bubba Ho-Tep ? That movie was almost tailor-made for you.
Looking forward to it.
Milos
Believe me, I intend to. Maybe when I do a Bruce Campbell Binge, or a Mummy Month…
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: You are a jerk
Date: Thu, 24 Nov 2005
Name: Brad
Email address: freds@aol.com
this was one of the most realistic westers i have ever seen. you think you are a reviwer, well you stink at it and if you were any good it would not have to be on the web where nobody can really get at you with verbal downgrades
Brad
You know, I’m probably not going to pay much attention to the opinion of someone who (a) can’t write actual sentences and (b) doesn’t bother to mention which movie’s review got his dander up. Go away, little man; the grown-ups have other things to do.
Nathan
Subject: Recommendation?
Date: Mon, 21 Nov 2005
Name: Mark
Hi, I’ve been a HUGE fan of Horror movies for a while now (since I was about in 6th grade, I’m 18 now) and the past couple days I’ve been watching the Evil Dead series, Undead, Dead and Breakfast, and even Bad Taste. All which I concider to be Horror/Comedy mixes. I’d like to see more of these. Sure, the real corny films do it themselves by being completely shit, but I’d like to it be intentional, ya mean?
So that’s my question, do you have any Horror/Comedy DVD recommendations I should know about? But nothing along the lines of the Necro Files, that had to be the WORST movie I have ever seen.
Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive tops my list as the greatest horror-comedy of all time, surpassing even Bad Taste; make sure you get the unrated version, as it really needs to be over-the-top gory to be truly funny.
The other great I recommend is Night of the Creeps, but it hasn’t been released on DVD; it hasn’t even had a VHS release for a decade or more, so you’d have to find an ex-rental tape or pay a bootlegger on eBay.
Thanks,
Nathan
