Subject: The Word You Are Looking For!
Date: Sat, 19 Nov 2005
Name: Jimmie Ray Giboney
(Time In At: 06:00 – A.M. – C.S.T. – Saturday -
November – 19 – 2005 – A.D.)
Good Morning, Mister Nathan Shumate!
I was writing a fan-ficiton chapter when I decided that I wanted a picture of the flying mountain from KRULL to use as a story figure.
So I came on-line quicklly to do a “Google” image search. I found your movie review site and I read your review for KRULL. Nice review, typographical errors aside. I was older when the movie came out, but my memories for it are about the same as yours are.
Anyway, the point of this e-mail is, there is a word that you are looking for, as they say. Instead of “Ninja Star” or “Throwing Star”, the word is, “Shuriken”. I mean, if you can remember how to spell “Glaive” why not “Shuriken”? ;-)
I just thought that you’d like to know.
Thanks for the movie memories! Now I still need to find an image of that flying mountain in space!
Sincerely:
(Mister) Jimmie Ray Giboney.
JRG/jrg.
(Time Out At: 06:07 – A.M. – Same Date.)
Yes, typos are the bane of my existence. (Or, should I say, teh baen of my exitsence.) I write my reviews directly in HTML, and my HTML editor has such a godawful spellchecker that I don’t even use it.
As for the shuriken issues, yes, I know all about ninja weapons. But the Glaive ain’t exactly a shuriken, and when I was explaining it to my kid, I used words he knew. “Ninja star” he understood; “shuriken” would have necessitated explanation, which would have brought me back to “ninja star.”
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: They Live Review
Date: Fri, 11 Nov 2005
Name: John Hart Hello
I enjoy your site very much and read reviews when I can. I came across your They Live review recently and wanted to offer a different perspective on the film’s meaning.
The aliens in my mind are representing the rich in an ever-increasing money gap between rich and poor in society. The alien imagery reinforces how far removed they feel from the rest of “us” i.e the protagonist and his fellow homeless at the land fill site.
I think it is an incredibly good satire on modern capitalist societies and is trying to point out how we are getting colder to our fellow man. You only have to look at the way Bush’ America and Blair’s UK work to see that it becoming a Have and Have Not Society.
The fight scene is great! I loved it. It represents the struggle to convince Keith David’s character and how it is his last chance. I liked the humor when Roddy smashes Keith’s windscreen and makes a giggling apology in the middle of the melee.
Anyway I just thought I could maybe offer you an alternative view on the film, that I would be happy to hear your comments on.
All the best from a Scotsman in Thailand
John Hart
Yeah, but if we went with that interpretation, we’d have to conclude that the rich are actively conspiring against the poor and seeking to ruin their lives and their environment, because whatever’s bad for the poor is good for the rich. I dunno; it seems that any possible interpretation of the movie is cool on the surface, and increasingly unsupportable when examined more deeply.
But hey — neato sunglasses! And Rowdy Roddy Piper!
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Battle of the Worlds
Thu, 10 Nov 2005
Name: James Pierson
If I remember rightly, an important defining point of Claude Rains’ character was the fact that he did a large amount of his figuring and equationing on the flowerpots that hold all the plants in his greenhouse. It’s a nutty idea but kind of neat from a design point of view and I’ve always wanted to decorate my flowerpots with scientific equations.
Great reviews. Thanks and keep up the good work.
Jim
Well, his options were to scrawl his equations across either his flowerpots or his huge, unsightly sweater-clad gut. I think if you look close, though, you see that the putative “equations” all actually say, “I’m gonna kill my agent, I’m gonna kill my agent…”
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Murdercycle
Date: Sat, 05 Nov 2005
Email address: akiratubo
Murdercycle was the first “bad” movie I rented after I moved out of Mom and Dad’s house and into my own apartment for college. I rented it solely because the title made me laugh. “Murdercycle“. Har har.
I do not share your utter hatred of Murdercycle, though I wonder what the point of it all was. The same movie has been done before, and better, countless times. Surely, no one thought it would be a worthwhile financial investment, or that there was some pressing need to make this movie. Best I can figure is that some friends got enough cash to make a better-than-average DIY movie and, somehow, convinced a distributor to pick it up.
“A complete movie for really cheap? Eh, sure, we’ll put out a few tapes.”
A time waster, to be sure, and I can’t think of a single reason for anyone to watch it unless they are friends or family of someone in the cast or on the production team.
The thing is, though, that this wasn’t some indie do-it-yourself feature. Producers Kirk Edward Hansen, Peter Locke, Donald Kushner, and Charles Band have between them something like 850 years of moviemaking experience. Granted, these are men all well known for cranking out feature-length “product” with scant regard to ultimate quality, but still: They Should Know Better.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Bela Lugosi
Date: Fri, 04 Nov 2005
email address: ultimohayabusa
I’m glad you reviewed a Bela Lugosi movie in White Zombie, and I hope you get around to more in the future, I think he was very underrated as an actor
I have a few more sitting around here on the shelves, but it might take me a while to get to them. Unless I do a Bela Lugosi Video Binge, which is a distinct possibility.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Murdercycle
Date: Wed, 02 Nov 2005
Name: Leslie Bates
I checked the IMDB listing and found no character named after Howard Chaikin (sp?), which I thought was a bit odd as Howie had a comic book series featuring large breasted women and large caliber (.666 Magnum) handguns back in the ’80’s.
Is it my imagination or does the Head require more vacation time than the ordinary human?
I think the character names involved were confined to the ’60’s and ’70’s, which is why Chaykin (and Byrne, and Cockrum, and…) are spared the indignity of inclusion.
As for the Head, remember that he’s European, so…
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: White Zombie
Date: Thu, 27 Oct 2005
Name: Sandra
I saw WHITE ZOMBIE in a theatre ( at a film festival! I’m not THAT old) and the sight of Madge Bellamy in her undies and wedding veil got a big laugh. Funny, I remembered her as wearing camiknickers ( like a slip and panties in one), but no, it’s a bandeau and tap pants.
All of which qualifies as “me-oh-my’s” to me. (Hey, I’m a guy; we don’t know from underwear.)
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Karloff’s last films
Date: Fri, 21 Oct 2005
Name: Brandi
In your Snake People review, you say:
“Look, everyone needs money. I need it. You need it. (No, not you specifically, Mr. Gates, I was referring to everyone else reading the site.) And even aging actors whose names and faces have become a part of pop culture need it.
Which is why Boris Karloff, very near the end of his days, appeared in a string of cheap Mexican horror movies.”
I’m not entirely sure that was the case. While Lugosi’s impoverished state was well-known and even documented in some biographies, I haven’t heard much one way or the other regarding Karloff. An A&E Biography documentary, “Boris Karloff: The Gentle Monster,” had an interview with his agent who mentioned talking to him on his deathbed. I’m having to recall the quote from memory, but I can get out my VHS copy if you need exactness:
“He was fading fast, but I told him one of my typical agent [pause] lies. Told him I had some work lined up, that he’d get back in the harness again. It made him feel good.”
The quote gives the impression that Karloff kept working less from poverty and more from just enjoying the work. No mention of his financial situation is given in the documentary, in contrast (IIRC) to A&E’s “Bela Lugosi: Hollywood’s Dark Prince.”
Okay, but you don’t think I’m going to let factual accuracy stand in the way of a cheap intro joke, do you?
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: The Hitcher
Date: Tue, 18 Oct 2005
Name: Vince
Mr. Shumate,
Love your work. I also like to consider myself something of a b-movie connoisseur (did I spell that right?), and as such am a big fan boy for b-movie reviewing websites. Not to sound like a kiss-ass (sorry about the language), but Cold Fusion is my absolute favorite of the bunch. Your reviews are witty, thought provoking (most of the time, anyway), and, more often than not, accurate. In other words, I often find myself in agreement with your opinons.
Keeping that in mind, please take no offense to the following question: how in god’s name could you possibly give The Hitcher a ‘hot’ review? I only ask because this movie seems to be the pinnacle of all b-movie reviewers, and I just can’t seem to find the alure. Bad acting, bad scriptwriting, terrible directing, and over-elabortae set-ups are just a few of the many qulams I have with this film.
That is not to say that I don’t appreciate the film’s finner points (C. Thomas Howell not being one of them – that kid couldn’t act his way out of a wet paper bag – I know, I’ve seen him try). The concept alone is enough to inspire chills, and Rutger Hauer was the perfect (and as you so elequantly put it – pretty much the only) choice for the villanous hitcher. But still, in my opinion, the movie sucked something aweful.
Your review of the movie is left openly vague, not siting specific examples and such. I know you didn’t want to spoil anything for anyone who may not have seen it as yet, and I appreciate that. But, seeing as I have seen the movie, maybe you could give me a little deper imput.
Also, Dollman, while not being a perfect movie (or even a perfect b-movie) wasn’t nearly as bad as you made it out to be.
Other than that, please keep up the good work. And please, don’t hate me.
(P.S. – I understand you’re working on a Killer Robot movie for one of your binges. May I suggest a dazzeling peice of cinema known as Death Machine. It’s one of my favorites, and it stares Brad Dourif – if that isn’t enough to make you want to watch it, I don’t know what is!)
What can I say? The very image of an evil Rutger Hauer hitchhiking the dusty southwest sinks its hooks so deep into my reptilian brain that I gladly overlook all other faults.
Yeah, Dollman may get more slack if I reviewed it again… but naaah.
And I’ll have to review Death Machine sometime. It’s one of my personal favorites, and I am totally gay for Rising Sun Dude.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: It’s pointless observation time!
Date: Tue, 20 Sep 2005
Name: Byron D. Henry
I was diddling around in your archives and tripped across your Future Hunters review, and boy, I gotta find me a copy of this one. Sounds like a recipe for brain tempura.
Anyway, my better half is from the Philippines, so I like to keep my eyes open for tidbits and nuggets from the islands, even if they suck. This one tripped a response when you asked if a white supremacist would really be comfortable surrounded by all those Filipinos.
Surprisingly, while I was in Cebu in 2001, my wife and I were having lunch at a sidewalk barbecue somewhere in Colon, a suburb of Cebu, and guess what I saw? At the top of a door frame, ensconced in the stone carvings (the whole building was stone blocks and concrete) was a brilliantly-shining swastika. Black cross, white background, red border around the whole thing.
Me being the inquisitive one, I asked what that was all about, and my wife didn’t know. Nobody did. Wonder of wonders, hardly any of her family knew what Nazis or the swastika were about. (They don’t teach world history until you hit college, and few Filipinos can afford it over there.)
Guess them white supremacists got sumpin’ good goin’ on over there if they can get away with that trick. But I suppose even they can’t overlook the benefits of cheap child labor in Asia, what with having to fund world-dominating armies and all.
Keep reviewing. I promise not to bother you too much more.
While I can see someone using the symbol for shock value (or even not quite getting what the Nazis stood for — certainly the swastika wasn’t exclusively theirs, and thus local conceptions of it as a force for good may not be completely overwhelmed by Nazi connotations), I can’t leap from there to Filipinos actively joining an organization dedicated to stamping out brown folks.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Request
Date: Sun, 18 Sep 2005
Name: Bill Herrmann
Dear Sir,
I respectfully request that this Web Page on my UFO Experience of 1978 be taken down. I ask that this be done as soon as possible. Please. I have destroyed everything connected with my UFO experience because I believe that the entire Phenomena is based on Satanic deception. I have had absolutely nothing to do with the Phenomena for over 25 Years of my life. I am seeking to Serve the Lord in the Ministry and this Webpage is a reflection of a time in my life that I profoundly and deeply regret.
Please take this Webpage on myself down as soon as You can. I would be deeply appreciative and grateful. Thank You.
With all due respect, Bill, I don’t feel the need to take down my review. I appreciate the fact that you are attempting to dissociate yourself from what you see now as a serious mistake, but the page was not about you specifically, but about the documentary made about you, a documentary which is still publicly available in video rental outlets dotting the nation. As long as the video itself is a matter of public record, I consider a review of the video to be a pertinent commentary on the contents thereof. (You will note, of course, that my review of the documentary doesn’t mean that I accept uncritically its claims; as stated, I consider the UFO phenomenon at best “dishonest,” and did indicate the opinion that you had been deceived, an opinion which you seem to currently share.)
I would be happy, however, to append a disclaimer at the bottom of the page, including the relevant portion of your earlier message to me to the effect that you have wholly dissociated yourself from, and deeply regret your involvement with, UFO phenomena.
Yours,
Nathan
Subject: reviews
Date: Thu, 15 Sep 2005
Name: Wagner
Hi, from Brazil.
I just want to say I love to read your reviews, and these months, I see you are one of the unique sites updating new reviews.
I love to read B movies reviews from various sites, but I´m afraid almost all the others B movies sites are not updated for months…!
Thanks for doing so much excelent reviews.
Congratulations for the great site!!!
Soon,
Wagner
Yes, my main outstanding virtue in the B-movie review arena is regular posting; beyond that, caveat emptor.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: falderall
Date: Fri, 02 Sep 2005
Name: James W. Fry Just a quick FYI: No such word as “falderall”. which I’ve seen you use a number of times recently. You’re thinking of “fol-de-rol”, sometimes written as “folderol”:
Main Entry: fol·de·rol
Pronunciation: ‘fäl-d&-”räl
Function: noun
Etymology: fol-de-rol, a nonsense refrain in songs
Date: 1820
1 : a useless ornament or accessory : TRIFLE
2 : NONSENSE
though what you mean is, of course, clear from context. Just picking a nit; otherwise I find your site, as always, intelligently written and highly entertaining. I’m also impressed by the frequent updates. Keep it up!!!
Beg to differ. While fol-de-rol may be the original derivation, my old Webster’s New World Dictionary from 1962 shows that even then, “falderol” and “falderal” were already accepted variants, and Rogers & Hammerstein were using the “falderall” spelling as early as their Cinderella musical in 1957. A quick google search will also show that “falderall” is certainly an accepted and acceptable spelling in modern usage.
I appreciate the historic derivation, but to say I can’t use the modern variant because it doesn’t match the original is like saying I have to use the French word “cerise” instead of the English derivative “cherries.”
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Prehysteria 3 & 4?
Date: Tue, 30 Aug 2005
Name: Matthew Barron Dear Nathan,
I was wondering when (and if) you were planning to review the remaining Prehysteria films. Any movie with an antagonist that hurls the epithet “bifftoid” at his enemies deserves a b-movie maestro’s full attention. Thanks for your reviews; this is one of my favorite internet sites.
Sincerely,
Matthew Barron
Hah! Nice try, but you can’t fool me — there IS no Prehysteria 4!
As for #3, I’m sure I’ll get to it sooner or later, but after a full month of kidvid, I hope you’ll permit me a slight winding-down period. (Hey, they’ve waited 65 million years, they can wait a little longer.)
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: NIGHT OF THE COMET sequel
Date: Fri, 26 Aug 2005
Name: Richard
Your review of NIGHT OF THE COMET says that there wasn’t enough interest in the movie to spark a sequel, but there was — it’s just taken forever to cut through all the red tape. But Kelli Maroney, who played Sam “Daddy would’ve gotten us Uzis” Belmont, and writer-director Thom Eberhardt are producing NIGHT OF THE COMET 2 and approaching Catherine Mary Stewart and Robert Beltran about joining Maroney in reprising their roles. For details, contact Kelli through kellimaroney.com, which is being updated even as you read this! Hurray!
That seems… unlikely. Given that the original was (a) made over twenty years ago, and (b) is long out of print in any format (as the website you sent me to mentions, the rights issue is so murky that the director considers it a “lost film”), and (c) really isn’t remembered by anyone outside the slim demographic of cult film aficionados, it seems a long shot that any such project would get past the “idle development” stage.
I’d love to be proved wrong, of course.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: felicitations
Date: Thu, 25 Aug 2005
Name: Cataboligne
Nathan;
Honest movie reviews, what a concept.
You know videodrome, skullduggery, and brainscan aren’t present on your list, but desperately desire to be included.
Well, except for skullduggery, you do not want to watch that under any circumstances…it wouldn’t have suprised me if they had used that tape in The Ring instead of the girl in the well bit.
Anywho, what I think would be neat-o would be an additional column on the reviews page that lists the star trek actor count. Maybe to the left of the links.
Great idea indexing movies with a trek cross reference. There is simply no better way to demonstrate the total lack of coincidence in the universe and some kind of psuedo science synchronicity theory than relating all to trek. Heck, if it doesn’t relate to trek, what do we need it for? (Ha ha ha ha…oh dear me.)
Thanks and keep up the good work…
-Cat-
You’ll be happy to know that all three titles are on my list of movies to review eventually. (In with almost 12,000 other titles. I plan to live a long time.)
The Trek indexing is a good idea, but I’ve still got a handful of older reviews that predate my Notable Totables brainstorm. So until I revisit and rewrite those, I’m afraid the Trek totals will still have to come at the end of the reviews, like a final kiss-off.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Land of Doom (1986)-Fil
Date: Tue, 23 Aug 2005
Name: Kadir
Dear Sirs,
Ref. mentioned movie filmed in Goreme/Urgup region in Turkey, not in “some middle east country”… The all places in the film are parts of a very big (a 8-900 kilometer squares), natural & historical area, which called “Peri Bacaları”. That region of Turkey, is most serious touristical place of this world and also very famous with more than 150 churcs in “Ihlara Valley”… Every year this region has visitors more than 2-3.000.000 people.Meanwhile, the musical instrument on the back of bcycle-rider is “Saz”. It is a folkloric intrument for playing the Anatolian type songs; “Turku”. Unfortunately all vehicles in the film (it is my opinion) are collected from scrapper… And film is very fictitious.
There is no place in the world like Peri Bacaları, Ihlara Vadisi & Goreme… You may come to Turkey,
can take a hot air balloon tour over that magical district, or you can pray in in a 1900 years old church which covered mosaic pictures… So, you can see that Turkey is not a “some middle east country”!
Turkey is a very modern country with hundreds of five stars hotels, beachs, natural parks,Pamukkale travertens, endless Mediterrenian, Egean Marmara & Black Sea beachs, Princes Islands, Topkapi Palace, thousands of historical places etc…. We must not forget formula 1 boat races, off-shore,yatch and know Formula 1 races too. Istanbul Park Formula 1 track is number one according to the FIA and European press currently. But unfortunately, all film makers who takes films in Turkey, choosing very poor, bad, dirty places (they are %3-4 only in total)!… When they zoom to few minarets,(Like Jackie Chan!) they are thinking that “they filmed in Turkey”!… They are all stupid… What are they trying to do, I don’t know. I’m 60 years old. Since 45 years I am travelling in Turkey, I still did not finish the places to go & to see!
For your information…
Regards.
Kadir Muhtar Gogus
Reporter – Technical Translator
Thanks for the background. I’ll edit the review.
Nathan
Subject: Producer
Date: Tue, 23 Aug 2005
Name: Ross Marshall
I like the REVIEWS of my MOVIES I made: Bangers, UnNat. Born Killer, Virgin Mummies.
Hope you enjoyed the shows!
ROSS MARSHALL, Producer, Actor, Failure.
Actually, I didn’t “enjoy” the shows. I thought they were excrement on tape. The world is a worse place because those movies exist. May God have mercy on your soul.
Nathan
Subject: Enjoyed Enter the Dragon review
Date: Mon, 22 Aug 2005
Name: Ian Bennie Hi,
I enjoyed your review of Enter The Dragon.
I liked the movie but always felt disappointed that the opposition Lee had to fight, always looked sloppy and useless.
Worse, what ruined the movie to a large extent, was that Han looked terrible struggling to perform any martial art moves.
No challenge for Bruce Lee at all in the big final.
What a let down, thankfully he had those amazing mysterious mirrors – wonder how long it took to keep them clean…..
cheers
Yup, the movie’s really about five or ten terrific minutes spread out in chunks between a movies’ worth of dated and unclassic stuff.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Giant Killer Poopie Movie subgenre
Date: Wed, 17 Aug 2005
Name: Radu
Quote from the Cold Fusion review of Monsturd:
“Monsturd is another movie which encompasses an entire subgenre, without room for further entries. Because really, who is ever going to say, ‘We need another giant killer poopie movie’?”
In fact, there is at least one other movie that falls into this category: Kevin Smith’s Dogma. Even though “the Golgothan” (a.k.a. “the Shit Demon”) is not a key character in the movie’s plot, he is certainly both significant and memorable, and even made it onto the cover of the Special Edition DVD.
So now we have a category comprised of multiple films. And there should be more. Allow me to go on record as saying,
“We need another ‘giant killer poopie’ movie!”
Best wishes,
- Radu
Fine. And I think the next one needs to be made in Bollywood, because what we really need is a singing, dancing killer poopie movie!
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: micro mini kids
Date: Sun, 14 Aug 2005
Name: robin
could you please tell me where i would be able to buy the movie micro mini kids thanks
Sorry, but as far as I know, it’s never been released on video. (I got my screener copy from a friend in the industry.) But the entire Kushner-Locke library has been picked up by a new owner, so there may be a DVD release in the near future.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Micro Mini Kids
Date: Sat, 13 Aug 2005
Name: Erika I’m wondering if anyone on this site knows where I could find a copy of Micro Mini kids because I noticed you had a review of the movie (from Nathan Shumate). Please let me know if you have any information about this movie….
Unfortunately, I got my copy from a friend in the industry who got a pre-release screener for the release that never happened.
But the Kushner-Locke library has been sold to a new company, and they may be releasing them all on DVD soon. Keep watching the skies.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Movie Review Question
Date: Fri, 12 Aug 2005
Name: Kerry Johnson
I read your review of the movie Lady Ninja: Reflections of Darkness and wondered have you seen any other non-pornographic movies where a woman chokes a man to death with her breast milk?
I haven’t, but I have to admit that I really haven’t been looking for movies like that.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Interceptor Force’s H missiles
Date: Fri, 12 Aug 2005
Name: Sebastien Greetings.
I happened to find your site via the eminent counsels and links of other movie sites, and starting pouring through your impressive review list. I read the one on the Interceptor Force movie, and your pondering on the realism of air-to-air nuclear missiles. Being quite a nerd, especially on military stuff, I indeed can confirm the USAF worked on such a projectile in the 1960’s, at the time the biggest threat seemed to be the Soviet’s bombers armada. Alas, not much information is available. I suppose it was destined to destroy massive formation in one strike (not a bad concept, but I doubt the 60’s tech allowed for a range sufficient for the fighter to stay secure). Prototypes were tested, but (thankfully) it never went into production. I suppose that the start of the massive buildup in ICBM made mass bombing raids less probable, and thus the missile irrelevant.
Best regards, and my thanks for your wonderful job.
Yup, people keep calling me on that; I need to go back and put a note of correction in the review.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: SilentNIght , DeadlyNight morden day verson
Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 Name: Elizabeth Lapicola
I tape an idea on December 31 , 2001 of Silent Night , DeadlyNight morden verson of the horror/ slasher movie Premired November 9 , 1984 !
This verson of Rickie and Billy Chapman takes a different turn then the oringinal pliot !
Granpa Chapman is dead for 30 year ago in Utah ’s
nursing home ! Terrorists destroy Christmas in America ! They where Once heros but heros to the world this time in December ,2001 ! Billy runs over terrorists by car on Christmas Eve through the highway ! My exboyfriend Eddie Soto used to review the casette tape of this morden day verson ! My exboyfriend Eddie Soto loved the story
line I did for SilentNight , DeadlyNight morden verson ! catchy lines like ” Don’t mess with Christmas , Don’t mess with Santa Claus ! ” and
The terrorist say ” We are running from a white man , We are running from Santa Claus ! ”
Rickie Chapman kills palestine 6 year old boy on top of the mountain ! Terrorists burried in cement
on the highway ! terrorist laying down on the highway as road kill ! Terrorist taking over an ophantage of St Mary ’s Children abounded home !
St Mary ’s Ophantage closed up after 10 years in 1991 ! Elf group is an excution group disgussed as
Santa Claus to Kill americans !
[I did not dignify this with a reply. Apparently dear Elizabeth, who has been peppering messageboards around the internet with the same incoherent pitch, is quite mad.]
Subject: subspecies
Date: Mon, 08 Aug 2005
name: Scott
In reference to the footnote about what Stefan had been doing for blood while he was away from the bloodstone, in the original script there had been a scene where Michelle is running back to the fortress to check on Lillian after the festival and along the way she finds Stefan feeding on the blood of a wolf. In the first trailer for the movie there is a clip of Stefan coming up from some animal with blood on his face. You can find the original long trailer on the Full Moon Technomancer website. Also, if you can get a copy of the script you can read the scene itself. I hope this helps shed some light on some of the other deleted scenes among just the subspecies characters themselves.
Thanks for the tidbit.
Nathan
Subject: Re: MICRO-MINI KIDS
Date: Fri, 29 Jul 2005
Name: Matthew Jason Walsh
Nathan,
Just read your (spot-on) review for MICRO-MINI KIDS and wanted to clear up one or two things.
1) There actually WAS a “Benjamin Grant” who wrote the original draft of the script, though, if I’m not mistaken, it was actually yet another pseudonym for your favorite Full Moon screenwriter, Benjamin Carr (a.k.a. Neal Marshall Stevens, of 13 GHOSTS fame). I was brought in relatively late in the game and originally signed a contract that would have listed me as a “co-writer”. When the movie was finished, and somebody slipped me a workprint, I noticed my name was nowhere to be found on the credits (something I was sloppily grateful for after I finished watching the movie!) … and both Full Moon and Kushner-Locke claimed it was because they had “lost” my writing contract, even though dozens of people involved with the production actually went to both parties, including Dave DeCoteau and Charles Band himself, to testify that I’d actually worked on it. Kushner-Locke simply refused to give me a credit. Serendipity?
At any rate, I think that incident was pretty much typical of the shennanigans that went on during the making of the movie, which might explain why it’s never come out in the States on either TV or video. You lucky Brits out there, however, get to see it on cable about every other week.
2) A lot of the movie’s cheesiness, including the “household products being turned into a shrinking chemical” thing, unfortunately, came about when Kushner-Locke had a “consultant” come in and have us take out potentially “imitatable” acts — you know, in case some kid decided to microwave bleach and guzzle it to shrink to mircroscopic size? The consultant was very nice, though, as I understand it, she’d previously worked for Filmation on the original He-Man series!
3) Of course, the “Dr. Crackle” character, as I’d written it, was “Dr. Crankenstein”, and was the typical mad-scientist-with-a-vague-German-accent modeled after the late, great Werner Klemperer. I was told to change it so we “didn’t offend the German market”, and was ordered to change the mad scientist’s name back to “Dr. Crackle”, from “Benjamin Grant’s” script. Don’t ask me where the casting of Debra Mayer came from. Your guess is as good as mine.
4) I also have no idea where the “Popeye club” thing came from — the party was originally intended to be set at somebody’s house while their parents were away (paging John Hughes!). Oh, and nobody dressed as sailors or commodores, either. I won’t even begin to speculate how all that went down.
Anyway, I loved the review! Keep up the great work!
-Matt
Thanks for the background info, Matt! I’ll make some edits to the review.
Nathan
Subject: Day of the Dead review
Date: Wed, 27 Jul 2005
Name: Eduardo Cavalcanti
Hi, Nathan. I`m a brazilian reader and I think Cold Fusion stands as one of the best sites I know. Just re-watched Day of the Dead and checked-out your review. Very insightful, very good. Keep on writing reviews like this one.
Thank you very much, Eduardo.
Nathan
Subject: question
Sun, 24 Jul 2005
Name: TAKAFUMI
Hello.
I wanted to ask a question and sent this mail.
I heard that the movie exsit not only commercial elegance but also the workprint or the artsier version.
I want to know whether this version exists in the U.S. movie named The Hitcher in 1986.
Starring is Rutger Hauer.
If you know about these versions, I will want you to teach.
Zannen desu kedo, sonno eiga no workprint ni tuite sukoshi mo shirimasen.
Yoroshiku,
Nathan
Subject: Flying Saucer Gambit
Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2005
Name: Jack Jardine AKA Larry Maddock
I loved your review, laughed loudly, agree with almost everything you say. Factual correction: the series died because I got bored after writing the first three of a four book contract. You might enjoy #4, The Time Trap Gambit, finished about 2 years later.
#1 was a revised Man From U.N.C.L.E. proposal and seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well, the ’60’s were a time of a lot of supposedly “good ideas,” so I guess I can’t fault you too severely. Glad to know you’re still around and kicking.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: buck rogers
Date: Sun, 17 Jul 2005
Name: iain deans
i believe their were a couple of sequels to this book , any idea what they are called .
It looks like Phillip Nowlan wrote The Airlords of Han to appear in the March 1929 issue of Amazing Stories, directly after (and in order to promote) the launch of the comic strip. I can’t see that this story was ever printed in book form.
Nathan
subject: Jack and the Witch
Date: Sat, 16 Jul 2005
From: Diane
Hi! I just wanted to thank you for doing all that ground work because I, too, have been haunted by that movie. I thought it was called Jack and the Harpies, and I never got to see the end. I finally decided to google the title and came up with your site right off the bat. Pretty cool for me. So I’m glad that it haunted you, because that means I got to find out that the movie really does exist, after all. :-)
I’m almost starting to worry that there was some deep-rooted psychological programming in that movie, and that someday there will be a special signal broadcast, and all of us who were haunted by that movie will rise up like automatons and… I dunno, do something unusual and nefarious.
Okay, perhaps not.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Bibleman Action Figures
Date: Wed, 22 Jun 2005
From: Kirk Draut
Howdy
I was at Half Price Books yesterday and found a stash of Bibleman action figures – $2.98 each! They had 4 characters, I don’t know the names, but they had Minority Sidekick, Female Sidekick, Bad Guy and some other character (possibly Bibleman). Let me know if you want me to grab a couple.
Kirk
Thanks for the offer, but I’m… um… trying to cut down. Yeah. That’s it.
Nathan
Subject: Really stupid movie cover
Date: Thu, 16 Jun 2005
From: Chip
I thought you might enjoy the cover of this movie I rented the other day. I think it’s quite silly personally. -chip
Ah yes, double-feature videotapes. The idea never really caught on, because in the rental arena, who wants to be told, “THESE are the two movies you’re going home with?” ‘Course now, with DVDs, double features do just fine, because people are buying them and keeping them and watching them at their leisure.
A blast from the past. Thanks.
Nathan
Subject: Jesse James v. Frankenstein’s Daughter…or whatever that was.
Date: Thu, 09 Jun 2005
From: Byron Henry
It took me years to find out that those damn TV-antenna-rabbit-ear thingies with the electricity crawling up them had a name, and it wasn’t until today, when I chanced across your review, that those years came to an end. “Jacob’s Ladder.”
Until now, I’d thought that was merely an epic of bland pop music sung by Huey Lewis, but now I know better.
Now what in the name of God are those things supposed to do, anyway? Did they have a valid purpose, or were they created just to have someone one day type the caption: “Gizmos? Arcing with electricity? That must mean . . . there’s SCIENCE . . .” and so forth.
Good work on the reviews. Attention to details like that sets you apart from the rest. And guys like me.
Purpose? Science NEEDS no purpose! I think Hollywood was just happy that science had finally produced something which, while of little utility, looked good on screen. (Twenty years ago, it was the plasma globe.)
And don’t be knocking Huey and the boys.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Possible cause for name change
Date: Tue, 07 Jun 2005
From: Ricardo Cámara
Hi, Brian,
I just stumbled upon an article which may (or may not) prompt you to change the name of your site
With best regards,
Ricardo Cámara
Yup, I’ve heard the news, but I don’t think it calls for a site name change. Until they can spark a sustainable reaction that produces more energy than it absorbs, it’ll still be a pipe dream. (And name changes are a real bitch.)
(I’m also unsure who “Brian” is.)
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Bibleman Review
Date: Wed, 01 Jun 2005
From: Jef Scott
Dear Nathan,
This is Jef Scott here.
I have just had the opportunity to read your review dated 3/16/05, on Divided We Fall.
First off, I appreciate the detail in which you have encapsulated the episode.
I have to say, that you actually “do” get what we are trying to do when producing these Bibleman adventures. The main focus, is to spread the word of Jesus Christ. The second, to entertain.
I was first brought on board as the executive music producer/ music score and sound designer on Lead Us Not Into Temptation (2001) and took over the villain roles starting from Jesus Our Savior (2002 until present), continuing with all the before mentioned tasks.
Our production company is very aware of the sometimes “absurdity” in each episode. I think that’s what gives these episodes many levels.
I’m glad you pegged all these occurrences. They were absolutely by design.
Anyway, I just wanted to send you this little note and can’t wait for your review of our latest episode, A Fight For Faith.
Sincerely,
Jef
Thanks for the background.
Nathan
Subject: Salvaging ‘Signs’ in one step.
Date: Mon, 30 May 2005
From: Michael Anderson
Hey man, great site. I’ve probably read every review here. So I’ve also read your review of Signs and it made me rethink the movie.
Perhaps some backstory is in order.
When I first saw the movie Signs, I’ll be honest and say I really, really liked it off the bat.
The alien scares were unsettling in both their delivery and in the way that they synched up perfectly in tone with actual paranormal lore.
(I still consider the ‘patterson footage’ homage as one of the most freaky scenes in recent cinema memory.)
Also, as you pointed out in your review, it had excellent comedy inbetween those more tense sequences.
It had a strange twist ending, but I never really put much thought into it, except to note that it was an interesting way to end a movie and that it was neat how seemingly unimportant scenes from earlier came together in the end. And hey, Gibson goes back to helping foul-mouthed girls and the aliens are dead. Happy ending!
It wasn’t until a day or two afterwards that I started to realize that the whole “God saves the day!” angle didn’t work from a logical standpoint, and actually made a substantial chunk of the movie seem hollow and contrived. I couldn’t help but be disappointed.
A few years later, I read your review and it brought up most of the same criticisms I had.
So I got around to thinking: “is the twist really unredeemably stupid?”
And the answer I came up with is ‘no’, *but* only if you review the movie with a somewhat atheistic point of view in mind.
Basically, take the exact same sequence of strange coincidences, and have them convince Mel Gibson (I forget his chracter’s name) that God has a plan for everything —but then assume that Gibson is wrong.
With that one change, the movie’s dubious theology actually becomes a rather on-the-nose commentary on religion.
So crap actually did happen to Gibson in Signs, and God didn’t have anything to do with it. The water, the asthma, the dead wife. All just simple randomness.
The important part is that Gibson believed it was a miracle, that the act of believing made his life much more pleasant and inspired him to help his community by getting back in business.
His belief is superficially plausible and credible, but ultimately illogical and a touch self-centered.
But from an atheist standpoint, the same could be said of any religion.
What the movie might be presenting is the message, “there might not be a God, but what’s wrong with believing there is one if it improves society and gives meaning to people’s lives?”
In your review, you said that Shynamalan’s appearance as a character who triggers many ‘acts of God’ and real-world role as director in the film was a clear sign of an “I am God” attitude.
Under the atheist hypothesis though, the attitude is actually the opposite: that God is the creation of men.
The atheist belief is that men created religions to explain the world, and that men see miracles out of a desire to find meaning in chaos.
As such, Shynamalan (the director) gives Gibson an explanation for his world by creating the appearance of a God’s Plan. And Shynamalan (the character) asserts that the freak accident was meant to be, while simultaneously playing a repeated role in the series of coincidences.
The part that I liked though, is how this twist can be interpreted by a wide variety of audiences. Some folks will go into the movie and trust that there is a God’s Plan to the world.
Some will go into the movie and think Gibson is dumb for acting as though coincidences were meant for him.
Religious people who watch might be compelled to see flaws in the idea of predetermination, while atheists might better appreciate the value of religion in society. (Like in the episode of South Park where a Mormon acknowledges that the specifics of his religion is nonsensical, but the overall message makes his family happy.
As an atheist, when I first saw the ending, I saw a load of coincidences coupled with smart moves that saved a guy’s life in more ways than one, and even though I knew that they were just coincidences, I could understand where Mel Gibson’s character decided to retake the faith.
And I probably should have kept that viewpoint, since when you look at the movie that way, it’s really rather good.
Under that interpretation, the only really tough thing to swallow for me is that the aliens are only hurt by large splashes of water and not the trace amounts in the air or on human skin. Of course, they could just be wearing lotion. :P
NOTE: Yes, I’m a film error appologist. I look at Godzilla’s impossible bulk and say “well, what if he’s actually full of helium?” Sure, in some ways it’s making effort that the screenwriters should have in the first place. But in other ways it takes a movie I like and saves it from mediocrity.
I consider Signs to be worth it, if only for all the TV-based scenes.
Hmm. Signs as a subversive critique of faith? It’s an interesting notion, but I think you’re putting more thought into the philosophical underpinnings than Shyamalan did. I can’t believe that a man who gave us water-soluble aliens running around naked would have the depth to make the supposedly-happy ending a left-handed dig at religion. Nevertheless, it’s deeper than most apologist defenses of the movie that have been lobbed at me, so you get an “E” for effort.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: David De Couteau
Date: Mon, 30 May 2005
From: Joseph Ulibas
Stay away from this clown’s films. He puts so much gay/pedophile material in his movie recentally it ain’t even funny. Exhibit A: Speed Demon, this movie has guys with out their shirts off throughout the entire movie ogling each other. The three women in the movie have more clothes on than the fellas. Two scenes that really disturbed the most were the Engine Block scene. A bunch of dudes wearing nothing but jockeys and socks rubbing oil on each others chest. The other is the main dude who has sex with his girlfriend leaves her bra on through out the entire fore and afterplay, the bra is the first thing to go! Exhibit B: Leeches, the most gayest thing I have ever scene. Mutated leeches entire their male victims anally. The women are very ugly and they wear singlets and one piece bathing suits. Just like Speed Demon, the guys wear less clothes than the women.
David De Couteau and his twenty aliases should go out and make gay porn instead of hoggin up the video shelves with this crap. He makes Victor Salva’s films seem straight. Love the site, I dig it!
visit:
http://ludovicoroom.tvheaven.com
Joseph P. Ulibas
Yeah, I know. He’s been openly gay for decades, and recently he decided that it’s not fair that the flashes of exploitation in modern B-movies were all for heteros.
On the other hand, if his same-sex “erotic” scenes are as sparkless as his hetero ones, I really don’t have to worry about anything except tedium.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Bibleman Action Figure
Date: Sun, 29 May 2005
From: Ben Metrin
Nathan,
You saw the show, now see the ACTION FIGURE!
I found this in some garage sale stuff a neighbor of mine was selling. It use to belong to one of the kids she nannies. And she agrees with you about the Bibleman.
Sorry if they’re blurry. I don’t know how to use html in email, so I’ll give the captions for each one.
Picture 1: Bibleman in all his glory.
Picture 2: I took a picture of the back of the figure. I found it humorous how much better built the figure is.
Picture 3: Bibleman faces his greatest battle! Cthulhu and a Gorn! (All purchased at OASIS 18!)
Pictures 4 & 5: These don’t have to do with the rest but I thought you’d love it. When I saw them in the store I knew I had to get them. I still want to know where these were when I was in elementary school.
Ben
Oh good golly, those are PRICELESS. Thanks a bunch!
Nathan
