Mailbag 05/2004 - 12/2004
Subject: The Mangler 2
Date: Thu, 30 Dec 2004
From: pkj
I worked on The Mangler 2 in the set decorating department. I love your review. It’s hilarious.
Working on this film was a lot of low-budget madness…. The executive-producer was lying in a coma in a hotel suite kept in his coma by his assistant who would turn down the morphine long enough to get his bosses sig on the cheques.
We were shooting on an abandoned army base, but what the producers didn’t know when they inked the deal for the location was that the RCMP were going to be taking the site over for a new police training centre… so almost as soon as we had finished with a room or a location the RCMP technicians would be coming in behind us to wire the place for the super-secret needs of the Mounties…
The writer became the director… he had never written a screenplay before.. and he had never directed a movie before…
at the wrap party one of the grips or electrics got into a fight with a bouncer at the niteclub where the party was…. The fracas escalated into a full blown brawl with all the electrics and grips getting into it… the director ended up with a fractured skull…..
Yes, he got Mangled…. what a shoot… along the way a buddy and I picked up a board game at a local thrift shop called “International Movie Maker”… the object of the game? Produce movies…
The cheapest movie to produce? A horror film of course! One location, cheapest director, and cheapest actors… hilarious!
Will there be a Mangler 3? We can only hope!
That is absolutely PRICELESS behind-the-scenes entertainment. Thanks for sharing.
And there will only be a Mangler 3 if the powers-that-be can greenlight a storyline even further removed from the original than the first sequel was. “I know — let’s make it a gross-out comedy without a hint of horror! It’ll be ground-breaking!”
Thanks again,
Nathan
Subject: Oh, the agony
Date: Tue, 28 Dec 2004
From: tws
Yesterday, me and one of my boys where at a video store. We were perusing through the selections when my eyes happened to fall upon a cover of a video that caused me to burst into laughter for half a minute or so. I didn’t know it at the time, but that was going to be the last time that I laughed within the next few hours. My friend came over to see what I was laughing at.
Cheerleader Ninjas. 2 words that would cause me pain for the next hour and a half. He had a free rental coming so he decided to rent it. We got to the video counter, and the young woman told us that the title gets rented quite a lot by people, just out of morbid curiosity. At this time, my friend made the statement: “Hey, it can’t be as bad as Mardi Gras for the Devil, can it?” Needless to say, he was wrong.
**Note: I should have known when checking on the internet that since no member of the B-Masters Cabal had reviewed this that it was horribly bad. Well, live and learn I guess**
By all means, it probably isn’t as bad as Bangers or I Stand Alone, but it is definitely the worst movie I have ever sat through in my life. I usually can find some redeeming quality in any B movie I watch, good or bad. Not this one.
Kevin Campbell wrote, directed, and starred as the narrator in this exercise in futility. It stars … well … no one of any consequence. I suppose Kira Reed can be considered a “star” of this movie, but she is only in it for a couple of gratuitous nudity shots. The rest of the cast will hopefully never star in any more movies ever again, since they are the worst bunch of thespians that I have ever seen. Looks like he hired them all off of some high school campus, probably offering them lunch at Taco Bell or something to star in this.
Kevin Campbell must of spent a whole 40 bucks making this film. He must have had some dirt on Lion’s Gate films to get them to distribute this crap.
I wouldn’t let this movie beat me. I made this statement at the 15 minute mark, and continued to say it about every 10 minutes from there until it’s conclusion.
Well, I suppose there is something that I find amusing about this whole thing. A man calling himself Tony Osio claims to be the Executive Producer for this crap, and he tears apart anyone who blasts his movie on the message boards of IMDB. He defends this movie as being made for a narrow audience. Must have been 12 year olds, since who else finds fart and masturbation jokes every 7 minutes or so entertaining? If your claim to fame is the Executive Producer of crap like this, perhaps you should seek other more fulfilling employment …
Like running the fryer at Hardees.
Hee hee hee. I’ve got that title on my list, but since the list is now well over 11,000 titles long, I’m in no particular hurry to get to that one.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Re: GROT
Date: Thu, 23 Dec 2004
From: Tim Lehnerer
In the tabletop war game Warhammer 40,000 a Grot is a little goblin that fixes vehicles for the Ork army. I don’t know what this has to do with the Santa robot, but it’s a trivia factoid you might not have already known.
You are correct; I did not know that. I was never a warhammerer. (Is that the correct term?)
Nathan
Subject: Day of the Dead review
Date: Thu, 09 Dec 2004
From: Danél Griffin
A very insightful review of Day of the Dead, though I would delightfully take odds with your assertion that Romero did not make a zombie film reflecting the social issues of the 1990s. I am, of course, talking about the 1990, Romero-written and Tom Savini-directed Night of the Living Dead remake, which, while not in continuity with the other three films, is clearly a commentary on the feminist movement of the decade of Hillary Clinton (and it even came two years before Hillary rose to prominence - perhaps Romero’s part time job is that of a psychic).
Certainly we can argue that the film was made to finally put a copyright on the “Night of the Living Dead” title, but the strong shift from Ben, the oppressed African American, as the protagonist to Barbara, now assertive and no longer a vegitable, cannot be denied. Romero was on to something here, and the shift creates a clever commentary that mirrors the original’s themes and refreshes them in the era of girl power and AIDS.
I’m currently getting my BA in Literary Criticism with an emphasis on film studies at the University of the Alaska Southeast, where I am also a staff member. I run university-sponsored website, Film as Art, in which I thoroughly dissect (and praise) Romero’s films, and I include Night ‘90 in the official cannon of his insightful, socially-aware zombiefests. That review is located at http://uashome.alaska.edu/%7Ejndfg20/website/nightremake.htm. I would welcome you to take a look, and I’d certainly like to hear any thoughts on what I’ve written, both from you and your readers.
Keep up the good work!
Regards,
Danél Griffin
Film as Art
University of Alaska Southeast
Well, as I said, I haven’t seen the remake in 10 years, so heaven knows I could have missed all sorts of subtext in my callow youth. (I’ve always been amazed how much better a novel The Great Gatsby became in the decade between my two readings, too.)
I will take exception to one bit of vocabulary:
With that in mind, I’m afraid that the argument that the film is not a commentary on racism doesn’t hold water. Whatever the intentions of the filmmakers were, history has revealed that the race-themes must be considered and are an essential ingrediant to this great film.
I would propose, then, that we can’t truly say that, if we ignore the intentions of the filmmakers, we can’t honestly call it a “commentary” (since a commentary naturally implies the intent of the commenter). Rather, in a vein of reader-response interpretation, we can say that the audience could see in film a reflection of their own disquiet over racial issues.
(Man, these are critical muscles I don’t get to stretch very often. I need to take a look at some of my old textbooks…)
Nathan
Subject: Jack and the Witch
Date: Tue, 07 Dec 2004
From: Camille
Can’t believe it. Your memory of jack and the Witch is exactly the same as mine…. Into the Machine, Into the Machine…It made a very big impression on me. I don’t know why. I was about 7 years old as well.
I am going to try and get a copy of this. I really ned to have it in my collection.
Thanks for the review…..
Camille
No problem at at. (I can’t believe there are so MANY of us with those foggy little childhood memories…)
Nathan
Subject: Bible Science
Date: Thu, 02 Dec 2004
From: John Balbach
There is another, deeper, issue with regard to Carrol’s biblical analysis of race quite apart from the free interpretation of agreeable passages in the Bible, and that is the desire for a scientific understanding of the events related in the Bible; a failing of fundamentalists and other Biblical literalists in general.
The Bible does not describe scientific reality. The very passages used by flat earthers to support their position or by “young universe” types demonstrate that a factual interpretation of the Bible often collides with scientific reality.
The Bible is not a book of fact. It is a book of spiritual truth, which is an entirely separate thing. As you noted in your review, you can find patterns in the Bible to support and reject many different, conflicting theories. Some would regard this as proof that the Bible is worthless. I instead take it as proof that a literalist interpretaion is not God’s intention for our use of His given word.
I’ve gone on too long already, but I could sum up the remainder of my thoughts this way: Faith is not certainty; doubt is not sin.
This is very true, and is so much bigger an issue that I didn’t even attempt to address it. No matter how inspired the Bible is, it’s filtered through the mind and worldviews of those who recorded it; it’s also unfair to the text to try to wring meanings from it which are outside the original intent and thrust of the text.
Nathan
Subject: Interceptor force
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004
From: Ejler
hey buddy,
Been running through your archives reading your reviews being a b-movie lover myself (although Denmark has an incredible lack of decent DTV junk peddlers) and read your review of Interceptor Force.
About the stealth fighters: (not having seen the film i assume they are f-117’s)
Yes, an air-to-air Nuke is incredibly stupid (I’m pretty sure i wouldn’t wanna be the one firing since it normally incinerates everything within a good 20-mile radius)
but what is even more stupid is the fact that they send F-117’s into air to air combat.
Many people refer to this plane as the Stealth “fighter”, but it is in fact a Stealth Bomber, it was built to fly in a straight line, drop a bomb, turn ’round, maybe perform a few minor aerobatics in the process and go home without showing up on radar and that’s about it, therefore it is in NO way equipped for air to air combat, i’m sure it could be retrofitted with the proper guidance systems for the Aim-9 Sidewinder or the AMRAAM (Advanced Medium Range Air to Air Missile) but the complete and total lack of maneuverability, compared to actual fighter planes due to it’s rather unorthodox shape makes it quite useless for close air combat, which i’m sure was in the movie because all movies show dogfights with missiles as extremely close combat (of course even short range missile are unable to lock-on unless the target is at least 1-2 miles away, and most fighter pilots actually never see their enemies when they’re blasting them out of the sky, as most air-to-air fights are resolved over a distance of 20-40 miles) but i disgress.
anyways, love the site, loads a great fillers for my sunday hangovers have ensued from reading it. =)
(btw. saw the sequel labelled “Alpha Force“, also comprised of much filler and general insults towards your intelligence - there is also a minor nuisance about some MiG 25’s but i’ll save you from that)
Ejler, Denmark
Great to hear from you. As you can tell, military armaments aren’t my forte, but luckily stupidity is a universal human language, and I can always find it spoken fluently in any genre of movie.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Bangers
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 2004
From: Dave Thomas
Hi Nathan
Discovered something sorta-interesting about Bangers, that movie you adored so much. It’s director Jeff Centauri runs a little company called A55 Films (visit them at www.a55films.com), and has been plugging something on his site called Zombie Ninja. This finally got a release as part of the Everyone Is Kung Fu Fighting: Reloaded DVD, and it’s quite the experience. Basically they reduced the running time to 20-plus minutes, cut out much of the rave/strip club filler and the bits with Kitten Natividad (thank Jeebus), and the movie is till much too long. The other stuff (the zombie/cop rapes, wacky scientist etc) are there, and the ending perhaps makes more sense, while at the same time making none whatsoever. See, the zombies chase the good guys into a train yard and they have a pitched kung fu battle! This is par for the course I guess, since Centauri is a stunt guy and action choreographer, but since none of the cast previously showed any martial arts skills it makes very little sense.
The DVD version also features Centauri watching the movie and laughing uproariously at how bad his first film was, but I’ve seen both The Fear Of Speed (a kung-fu/sex spoof of The Fast And The Furious featuring a cast almost entirely composed of porn stars) and Attack Of The Virgin Mummies, and neither showed a marked improvement.
Thanks
Dave
Hey, Dave.
Yeah, I knew about the alternate version (although Kit still shakes her [gag] moneymakers in the trailer). But I couldn’t imagine that there could possibly be enough fu to wipe the rest of it out of my brain.
Nathan
Subject: endgame
Date: Sat, 20 Nov 2004
From: daniel
where can I buy EndGAME 1983 steve benson
please let me know.
As with most old movies which haven’t been given a DVD re-release, Ebay is your best bet.
Nathan
Subject: asking to exchange card
Date: Wed, 10 Nov 2004
From: gamal eldin abdullah
dear sir.
my name’s gamaleldin ,I living in hungary, and I collecting phonecards and I exchange that I hope form you sir to send some emptiy cards to me if you can.
I hope to contact me in my e-mail
thanks
Please read the webpage: I DO NOT TRADE MY PHONECARDS. Thanks.
Nathan
Subject: Deadly Reactor
Date: Tue, 09 Nov 2004
From: Stuart hunter
Just finished watching Deadly Reactor and went on-line to find out about ‘Agopy’ not knowing if they were real or not, and came across you review. Jeez. Wish I’d done it in reverse and saved myself some Ass-numbing time. Your review is spot on
Yeah, Deadly Reactor is a movie I don’t recommend for anyone who hasn’t built up a thick bad-movie callus. And even then, I don’t recommend it.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: RE: review of “strange things happen at sundown”
Date: Mon, 08 Nov 2004
From: Frank
Hello,
Frank here from Insane-O-Rama Productions. Just happened upon your sight and found a review of our movie Strange Things Happen at Sundown all I can say is thank you….. it’s a very, very cool review and thank you for taking the time to watch our flick :)
Frank
No problem at all. Thanks for making it, and keep up the good work.
Nathan
Subject: Mormon films…yay or nay?
Date: Sun, 07 Nov 2004
From: RC
Hey, Nate -
Glad to see you enjoyed Strange Things Happen at Sundown as much as I did. It’s strangely enjoyable and even a bit admirable to run across a micro budget flick with *too* many ideas, rather than not enough. And any film that takes the orgy mansion scene from Eyes Wide Shut and crosses it with backwoods vampires is okay by me.
Anyway…I could not help but notice my local Blockbuster(s) have started carrying a lot of Mormon films - I could not help but find this trend interesting (espically given that I live in the buckle of the bible belt - deep in the south) and wondered what your take on it was - espically given your focus on a few past Mormon films. Works like The Work and the Story, The RM, Singles Ward, Home Trainers and others have slowly popped up on my shelves. I’m all for diversity in the arts (except where teen pop stars are concerned) and having a few new views on the scene is interesting.
Any thoughts?
Rock on otherwise!
-RC
If you’re asking me what I think of the idea as a whole, I think that the lessening reliance on national theatrical release is making the idea of regional or sub-population cinema a reality again. If you’re asking me which ones I recommend, I have to confess that I haven’t been keping up with all of them. I find that, as with any emerging trend, the first ones on the scene are the best, with later ones riding coattails shamelessly.
I’d recommend God’s Army as the archetypal Mormon missionary story — the closest thing we have to a universally shared Mormon experience.
Brigham City is a terrific piece of cinema, much darker in tone than anything else in the “Mormon movie” subgenre (and it suffered commercially for that). Rather than simply being a story told for a Mormon audience, it’s a story that could only happen the way it happens in a Mormon setting. This was also made by Richard Dutcher, writer/director of God’s Army, and I reviewed it at greater length here.
The Other Side of Heaven is pretty to look at, but it makes the great mistake of adapting autobiography: Not adapting enough. As it stands, it becomes a lot of dramatically disconnected episodes, instead of a satisfying narrative.
And The Singles Ward (along with followups from the same people, The RM and The Home Teachers) are pretty much ninety-minute Mormon in-jokes. And not just Mormon in-jokes, but Utah Mormon in-jokes.
Nathan
Subject: review armageddon 2419 ad
Date: Sun, 31 Oct 2004
From: james teel
sir’
i was researching a novel that captivated me when i was a young teen 13 to 14 yrs, when i ran across your review of the same. i was stunned that you would slam a story that brought the imaginations of a multitude of young impressionable future sci-fi readers to a level that they made the sci-fi genra what it is today!
your shallow psudeointellectual accessment of phillip francis nolan’s work was amazing to me in that the story was some of the first true sci-fi writing that has any merit.
i can only assume that you are a young uninformed wanna be critic that obviously has no real experience with science fiction classics.
i was offended by your shallow throw off review and your obvious disregard for the brilliance of the writers creative imagination in view of how little technological knowledge was available to him at the time the story was written. he was a magical writer who created visual pictures in the mind of young readers who had no tv, video games, or computer enhanced thinking that we have today.
you make a mistake when you put down his plot developments, technical descriptions, and characters, as they were very far ahead of their time and very different from the read of that day!
sincerely
james teel
an old sci-fi buffrom way back
Wow. All I can say is that I’m sorry that this exceptionally poor excuse for literature scarred you so badly at a tender age that you can no longer recognize how far beneath the bottom of the barrel it is.
You are, of course, welcome to label me a young, uninformed wanna-be critic to comfort yourself for your utter lack of taste or critical skills.
Have a nice day.
Nathan
Subject: Raptor
Date: Sun, 31 Oct 2004
From: Elijah
Hey, just a note. In your review of Raptor, (the movie made up mostly of footage from the Carnosaur movies), I was surprised to see your comment about Lorissa McComas’s scene in the back of the trailer. You remarked that her and her boyfriend ‘go at it’ for a split second. In the video I rented (I live in Ireland..and yes I was very sorry I rented it) this particular sex scene goes on for a ridiculously long time. I didn’t time it..but we’re talking about seven or eight minutes. Almost as if it was taken from some other movie…?
I wuz robbed!
Nathan
Subject: Revelation
Date: Thu, 28 Oct 2004
From: James W. Fry
I just wanted to toss in my two cents and defend the filmmakers’ decision to have the zombies pop up out of nowhere. I realize that there’s a kind of unwritten contract with the audience :We’re supposed to know some things that the characters don’t,even if only because we know they’e characters in a film, and we know the type of film they’re in. Many critics (and audience members) had an identical complaint with From Dusk ‘Til Dawn. But really, if cannibal zombies (or whatever other supernatural menace you can think of) were to pop up, how much foreshadowing would there be in the lives of the first few people to encounter them? The “What the Hell–?” feeling you got when that first zombie showed up? In all likelihood, the would-be-victim was probably feeling the same damn thing, which might well make it the film’s most realistic element. Or not.
It’s true that that’s very lifelike. But the difference between drama and real life, since even before Aristotle formulated his unities, is that drama is supposed to make sense. I could easily do a two-hour movie which mimics real life — a whole bunch of crap happens, and then credits roll. More related to the discussion at hand, I could have a gentle and heartwarming romantic comedy in which zombies show up five minutes from the end and eat everyone. “Boy, they never saw that coming, did they?”
I don’t think it’s an extreme flaw in Revelation 22:22, but it did attract my notice enough to justify the overlong paragraph in my review. We like to say that art imitates life, but that’s only true to a degree; art *refines* life, while maintaining a believable semblance of life. Otherwise, what benefit has art over life anyway?
Thanks for your comments,
Nathan
Subject: Jack and the Witch
Date: Sat, 23 Oct 2004
From: Robert Robinson
Nathan:
I got the DVD movie Jack and the Witch from John today. That movie really brings back memories. I hope someday they put the movie back out on DVD in the U.S. It’s a good copy but not a great copy, but my kids and I love it. Thanks for helping me get a copy of it. Take care and Happy Halloween.
Robert Robinson
Always glad to help a fellow whose psyche was branded by that movie at an early age, like mine was. Take care.
Nathan
Subject: Haunting “Into the Machine” Memory put to rest!
Date: Thu, 21 Oct 2004
From: Peter
I am yet another person who, for the past few decades, has been haunted by the memory of the windmill and the creatures chanting, “Into the machine”. Thank you, thank you, thank you for putting a title to this memory. Like the other respondent you mention in your article, I feel as if you took the words out of my mind.
Anyway, I’m still a little flustered and delighted to have come across your article. Now I must find a copy of Jack and the Witch for myself.
Ever wonder if this is what UFO abductees feel like? Wondering if they’re crazy, if they imagined it all, afraid to try to talk to others about it… until the day they find that there ARE others who share their experiences! They’re not crazy! They were right all along!
At least we’ve got the videotape to prove it, though.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Dutch in Pennsylvania
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2004
From: Ian Hamet
In point of fact the “Pennsylvania Dutch” were German immigrants. “German” in German is “Deutsch.” Pennsylvanians heard that and thought “huh, they must be Dutch.”
:)
–
[Ian Hamet]
http://blog.ianhamet.com/
Who am I to disabuse an entire country of its ignorant notions? (Plus, I’d have to scrub that whole gag…)
Nathan
Subject: Jack and the Witch
Date: Sat, 09 Oct 2004
From: Robert Robinson
Nathan:
Excellent article on Jack and the Witch. I rember seeing it Halloween 1972 at Fort Devens, MA. I watched it just before we went out Trick or Treating. It was a great time to be a kid. Well the resaon I wrote you was I tried to get a hold of the gentlemen who sold you your copy of Jack and the Witch and I have not heard anything from him. I even deposited the money into Paypal for him. Do you know if he is still in business? I would like to get a copy before Halloween. I was going to order the copy in Japanese but the DVDs only play on Region 2. I do know it that will work with my DVD player and it is kind of pricey to be taking that kind of risk. I hope I didn’t wase your time. Take Care
Robert Robinson
Glad you enjoyed the review. My only thought on the proprietor of Cool Stuff Videos is that he’s a one-man act who runs a table at a lot of conventions and other venues; he might still be digging himself out from under the recent Small Press Expo, for all I know.
He’s been in business a good many years and has a solid reputation; try dropping him another email just to see if your order fell between the cracks.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: night of the day of the dawn and son on video.
Date: Tue, 05 Oct 2004
From: marko
neat aricle about this spoof movie, just curious if you have seen the newer version of the original movie with commentary by the guy who does mystery science theater, it is also done in a newer version of color than previous versions which im sure would be better, thanks marko.
I know it’s out there, but I haven’t watched it yet; I really see no reason to see a colorized version of a movie that’s just perfect in black and white, and (confession time) I rarely listen to commentaries, especially by people who didn’t make the movie.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Agent of Terra
Date: Mon, 4 Oct 2004
From: gary & sandra
Hi Nathan. I have never read the book, but your review raises some questions.
* 1.* Shouldn’t Empire be E.M.P.I.R.E. i.e. Evil Mercenary Pirates In Religious Ecstacy or some such?
* 2* Doesn’t it occur to Empire that if they do go back to 1966 and use a ‘new weapon to destroy rational thought on Earth’, they will be turning their own ancestors into idiots, making it very unlikely that they will ever be born, and /Able/ to go back to 1966 and use … etc. Of course, if they didn’t think of it, they are idiots, so they must have succeeded! In which case, how did anyone manage to build a time machine? Start thinking, really thinking about time paradoxes, and you feel like Fry in that Futurama episode where he discovered that he’s his own great-grandfather!
* *Some talented writers have written good time paradox stories, like Robert Silverberg’s Up The Line and Poul Anderson’s There Will Be Time and Time Patrolman.
Sandra
In other words, typical anarchist/terrorist forethought. At least SOMETHING’S realistic in this novel!
Nathan
Subject: “Gog”
Date: Fri, 01 Oct 2004
From: Royce Day
Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, I truely thought better of you…
Okay, most of the SCIENCE! in Gog is pure nonsense, starting with the idea of having a computer control *every* portion of a secure facility (ah, to be back in the gentle days of yore, when “hacker” referred to someone playing Mugwump on the college mainframe.) Nevertheless, you missed a couple of crucial points.
1) “Gog” actaully scores points in one respect. It’s the first movie ever (at least according to the Science Fiction Encyclopedia) that portrays robots as non-human in appearance, as opposed to the standard Guy in Tin Suit that viewers were used to back then.
2) The Solar Power Turbine is the one bit of SCIENCE! that the movie gets right. Remember, rising steam has nothing to do with powering a turbine, it’s the steam *pressure* that makes the tubine rotate. If you look at some of the early Reagan Era concepts for the ISS, the more advanced designs replace the solar panels with funky looking hexagonal concave mirrors that kinda look like an antenna. They would have basically powered the station in exactly the same manner as proposed in the movie.
Of course niether point changes the fact that the movie is an ungodly boring piece o’ crap, but I just thought you might like to know. :)
Yeah, you’re the second person to call me on that. Can you tell that my knowledge of engineering ended with James Watt?
I guess I’d better fix that before I get more letters on it…
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Gog et al.
Date: Thu, 30 Sep 2004
From: Sergej Roytman
A small nit to pick about your recent review of Gog. I would imagine that a space steam turbine would work by heating water in a sealed boiler, and then having the expanding steam turn the turbine. Same as down here on Earth. This would work in free-fall, in zero-g, or if there is a defined up and down. The tin-foil anti-gravity suits, on the other hand… at least if those things include a beanie, your space-Frenchmen won’t have to worry about radio transmissions from Mars. I guess.
Thanks for this review and all the others.
S.R.
Figures that I get corrected by an engineering alumnus on this one. All right, so maybe steam turbines have become more sophisticated since the days of coal-powered locomotives… The movie’s still silly, anyway.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: draven
Date: Thu, 23 Sep 2004
From: danny
Hi nathan,
I read your review of Darkwalker, thanks for doing one. A big correction however, I don’t know where you got your information about Darkwalker costing 125k… that film was shot for 15k.. the lowest budgeted movie I ‘ve EVER DONE and biggest pain in the ass. If I had 125k, it would have been a whole different kind of film.
Just wanted to let you know. best,
danny draven
Good lord! You did that on $15,000? FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS?!?!?! I am in drop-jawed awe! Corrections shall be coming forthwith!
Nathan
Subject: Jack and the Witch
Date: Mon, 20 Sep 2004
From: Ben Ettinger
Hiya.
Just thought I’d mention that Jack and the Witch was directed by Taiji Yabushita, not Gisaburo Sugii. Gisaburo Sugii directed the 1973 Jack and the Beanstalk.
Best,
Ben
What?? You mean there’s information in the IMDb that’s INACCURATE???
Inconceivable!
(Thanks. I’ll make the correction.)
Nathan
Subject: Jack and the Witch
Date: Wed, 01 Sep 2004
From: Brian
Hi Nathan,
It’s been about 3 years since I gave up my search for anything relating to Jack and the Witch. Being unable to sleep tonight and just surfing around, I found your review. I couldn’t believe what I was reading! Someone actually was on the same, somewhat futile attempt to find info on this classic. You obviously were more determined than I, for which I am grateful. I even new the name, yet was unable to find it. The pieces in your review that triggered certain areas from your memory could not have been more exact than mine. Especially the scene in the cave. I have had a crush on Allegra since I was 5, 6, or 7, whichever age it was that I viewed it. I have never spoken to or heard of anyone else who has seen it. Thank you so much for taking the time for the review, as you have brought me back to a wonderful part of my childhood. I know that film affected me in a way that is still with me today. If you have any more info, photos, or updates, I would love to hear/see them. Also, is the version you received still available? Did you ever buy the new Japanese release? Thanks again for the great review and being relentless in your pursuit of info.
Sincerely,
Brian Knaup
PS - Did you also happen to be a Kimba/Speed Racer Fan? How about Giant Robot (Voyage into Space). I am also trying to track down info on those as well.
Hi, Brian.
You wouldn’t believe how many messages I get from people in our boat, who had seen Jack and the Witch once, long long ago, and could never get its hooks out of our brains.
As far as I know, the version I got is still available; in fact, I saw the other week that someone was offering that same version (I could tell from the print flaws in the screencaps) on DVD-R on eBay. (They had it double-billed with a Filipino Batman ripoff. What a movie night.)
I’ve never gotten the Japanese DVD, because I think that the voice acting for Allegra is really one of the great features that let us prepubescent males fall in love with her, and frankly I’m hesitant to hear what she sounds like in the original.
And no, I’ve never been a fan of other anime; there wasn’t much playing in my area when I was a kid (except for Battle of the Planets), and I’ve never gotten into it as an adult. But I know that the two titles you mentioned are a lot easier to find info on than Jack and the Witch.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: propaganda film
Date: Mon, 30 Aug 2004
From: jack
hey,
I was looking at the B-Fest 2003 article, and saw your comments for the communism short film. Which led me to wonder, would you consider Fahrenheit 9/11 propaganda? What did you think of the film, good parts and bad parts?
Thanks!
I would indeed consider Fahrenheit 9/11 a propaganda film. Moore’s not in it for a deep, well-rounded portrait of the situation; he’s got an agenda, and that’s what the film is built around.
Here are my further thoughts on that whole brouhaha.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Good to have you back!
Date: Sat, 28 Aug 2004
From: Nicole
Hey there,
Woo-hoo! It’s great to have you back. Hope you had a fantastic vacation. I’m down with the flu I have cfs/fms so my immune system sucks - my white cells just sit around playing strip poker and allowing all manner of germs to just come waltzing right in. Lazy little bastards.
But I didn’t write to whine about my craptacular health. I just wanted to thank you so much for all the entertainment. I can’t wait to settle in to read your newest reviews.
Take care,
Nicole
Oh, great — talk about pressure!
(It’s good to be missed and welcomed back, though. Thanks.)
Nathan
Subject: Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Date: Thu, 26 Aug 2004
From: Sandra
hi Nathan. The odd thing about TCM is that you tend to remember it as being much gorier than it is. For instance, the girl on the meathook. You ‘remember’ seeing the hook exit from her chest etc, whereas it doesn’t.(Hmm. apparently, I’m not allowed to start a new paragraph. Pretty lame.) Know how they did that, by the way? They took a pair of pantyhose, tied them into a figure-eight, put the actresses legs through the loops (underneath her skimpy shorts and halter costume)and they were strong enough to support her weight. Nylons are quite strong and can be used for tying up cartons etc. Tobe Hooper said that the thing he liked was that for a dollar (or whatever pantyhose cost back then) he achieved an effect he couldn’t have done better if he had had a million dollar budget. That’s what I like about independent film - the improvisation.
Of course, being a guy, I know nothing about nylons. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
Nathan
Subject: Jack And The Witch
Date: Sat, 21 Aug 2004
From: Bob Hershey
Yes, I also am one of the legion of those enthralled by this enigmatic animated cartoon as a youngster. I saw it on Los Angeles Station K-COP channel 13 several times between 1974 and 1978. The big showing, the one K-COP advertised in commercials, was Halloween night 1975. A more appropriate setting for this movie you could not ask for.
But I was fortunate in a way that so many others obsessed with this movie were not…long before VCRs were commonplace, I had recorded the audio track on a cassette recorder by putting the microphone next to the TV speaker. I had actual proof that this show existed!
So in 1998 when I finally recieved my video copy from cool stuff videos, it was like finding the Holy Grail or the Lost Ark…a decades-long search had finally bore fruit.
Well, this year, 2004, I found this on eBay:
Jack And The Witch on a bootleg DVD…as a double-feature with a equally-wierd 1981 Batman-and-Robin movie from the Phillipines. That will also be fun to watch, but it’s Jack And The Witch i’m so interested in.
I’ve already bid and won mine (it will arrive in the mail shortly)…you might want to get yours as well!
Long live Jack And The Witch and it’s devoted followers.
And since he didn’t include his email address in the comment form, I couldn’t reply to him…
Nathan
Subject: letter to US Energy Secretary
Date: Sun, 01 Aug 2004
From: WLADIMIR GUGLINSKI July 13th 2004
Mr. Spencer Abraham
U.S. Energy Secretary
Congratulations to your decision of performing a review of entire “cold fusion” question by the U.S. Department of Energy.
I am sending you the manuscript of my book “Ring Theory – Foundations for Cold Fusion”, where 23 papers of mine have been met into a book form (four papers have been already published by the Journal of New Energy in 2002-2004, and one paper by the magazine Infinite Energy in 2002).
In the end of this letter I explain why I have decided to send my book to your appreciation.
In Feb-2004 the Infinite Energy Editor-in-Chief Dr. Eugene Mallove encouraged me to put all of my papers into a book form, because from his opinion I “have developed so many interesting , intriguing theories”. Let me explain why Dr. Mallove has taken the decision of encouraging me to put my papers into a book form
In the beginning of 2002 I have submitted seven papers for publication in Infinite Energy. Dr. Mallove has analyzed them during two years, but in his opinion some of the papers are too complex for the Infinite Energy readership. That’s why in the Feb-2004 he has decided to stimulate me in putting the papers into a book form. In an e-mail of February 20, 2004, the Managing Editor Christy Frazier said the following:
“Our editor suggests that since you have developed so many interesting, intriguing theories that you consider the following: publishing a book which melds the many theories together”.
As I was in two minds, she has insisted in Mallove’s suggestion, by sending me more two e-mails where she said:
“Our editor again encourages you to consider putting all of your papers into one book form, with a hearty introduction which generally explains the purpose of the “chapters”/papers.”
“I hope that our encouragement to publish the papers as a whole entity (and tied together coherently and neatly) is something you will consider. As I noted before, we would consider making copies and selling the product for you if you presented us with a clean, hard copy that has a good introduction which makes sense to the reader.”
In the beginning of March, as I finally was agreeing with the Dr. Mallove’s suggestion, Christy Frazier sent me in March 24 another e-mail saying the following:
“We ask that you provide a working title for the whole piece so we can make a cover/title sheet.”
Copies of her e-mails are enclosed.
Now let me explain why my theory can be important for the advancement of cold fusion, as follows:
1. In Nov-2002 the magazine Infinite Energy has published a paper of mine entitled “What is Missing in Les Case’s Catalytic Fusion”, in which some suggestions were proposed for increasing the speed of cold fusion reactions (the paper is exhibited in the page 186 of the book).
2. In the ICCF-10 (the Tenth International Conference on Cold Fusion, which was held in Cambridge, MA and in part at MIT, August 24-29, 2003), my suggestions were dramatically corroborated by the results of Letts-Cravens experiment (in the page 189 of the book it is exhibited my paper “Letts-Cravens Experiment and the Accordion-Effect”, where the results of that experiment are analyzed from the viewpoint of the new nuclear model proposed in my Ring Theory).
3. There is not any theory able to explain cold fusion yet. This is the reason why there is so strong resistance against cold fusion from the academic theorists.
4. My theoretical work is not a theory for cold fusion. However the Ring Theory proposes new foundations that can help the development of a Cold Fusion Theory by other theorists. That’s why it is important to publish the Ring Theory.
Unfortunately Dr. Mallove was killed in May-2004. And so I don’t know if in Infinite Energy they will keep his decision of publishing my book, because I don’t know what a new Editor-in-Chief will think about.
Since Dr. Mallove spent two years in reading my papers, and finally he decided to publish them into a book form, it is hard for me to lost the chance of spreading my ideas after two years of waiting.
So, I would like to know if the U.S. Energy Department could help printing my book. As my ideas can stimulate the development of theories for explaining cold fusion, one can conclude easily that, if published, my book can be very important for the advancement of Science.
If you think that there is chance that U.S. Energy Department should be a sponsor for the publishing of my book, I would be very thank to you.
Thanks to your attention
WLADIMIR GUGLINSKI
R. Santo Antonio, 637 ap 306
CEP 36.015-001 , Juiz de Fora-MG
BRAZIL
Email: wladimirguglinski@hotmail.com
Um, no, you’re not sending me your book. If you had taken ten seconds to look at my site, you’d find that there’s about one passing pop-cultural reference to the entire “cold fusion” phenomenon. I’m not interested in seeking the deep dark secrets of hydrogen fusion and government conspiracy; I review movies.
Nathan
1) The Us Energy Department will take the research on the cold fusion question.
2) I see that you don’t know the results obtained by Letts and Cravens, described in the last ICCF-10
2) Cold Fusion will be recognized by US Energy Dept in 2005. Wait and you will see it.
Best wishes
WLADIMIR GUGLINSKI
Subject: Netflix
Date: Sat, 24 Jul 2004
From: Helena
Nathan,
Although I thought your article was condescending and you seem like you are the type of person who thinks he is smarter than everyone else, I have to agree with you that you that no one listens to your mouth, they only lister to your wallet.
Therefore, I recently signed up for Netflix which is a video mail service where you can rent as many DVDs as you want for just $21.99 per month. You can keep a revolving library of up to 3 DVDs at a time and can exchange them for new DVDs as often as you like. Yes, blockbuster does have the same service (its called the movie pass or something) but the differnece between them is that Netflix carries 20,000 titles and so you will find that independent or foreign movie you were looking for and could not find at blockbuster because there is either only one copy or they don’t carry it all.
The other day, I called blockbuster and asked whether they had any of the 10 foreign and independent movies I was looking for. Of course, they only had two. So finally I got sick of it and signed up for Netflix. If anyone is interested, the website for Netflix, as you might expect, is Netflix.com.
Helena
Thanks, I know about Netflix — as does just about everyone who goes on empassioned tirade about Blockbuster, I think.
And no, I don’t think I’m smarter than everybody else, but I do think I’m smarter than stupid people, which is who my commentary was aimed at.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: re: princess of mars book rev.
Date: Sat, 24 Jul 2004
From: Brian Jackson
I was recently re-reading a number of the reviews here at CFV, and wanted to drop you a line regarding your piece on A Princess of Mars.
ERB’s Mars books are great fun to read, and your APOM book review reminded me that it has been nearly twenty years since I’d read any of them. Shortly after perusing the article, I stumbled across a couple of sites that have copies of the nearly all of the rest of the series available as free downloads, since the rights have apparently expired.
Project Gutenberg has six of them (one, “Thuvia,” is missing the “of Mars” suffix) as part of its 25 title Burroughs library. All of the series installments featured there are also available as free audiobook downloads. The other site to feature them is www.literature.org. Of course, both of these sites also have lots of other great free stuff as well.
Another fine place for free online copies of older books of varying type is www.blackmask.com, which has tons of old pulp novels featuring the Shadow, Doc Savage and others, mysteries, etc.
I too buy most of my books used, and so sometimes have to wait long periods of time before I can get the next installment of a book series. Just wanted to let you know where you could find most of the rest of those books without having to wait, or pay anything.
Thanks for the heads up. Yeah, I know about the Project Gutenberg texts, but there’s something about Burroughs that demands being read in an honest print’n'pulp book, preferably with root beer and sunflower seeds close at hand.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: You’re gonna be famous
Date: Thu, 15 Jul 2004
From: some_0ne
Dude,
Here’s the story… I’m listening to Felix Da Housecat and looking up movies on IMDB.com in a stoned trance… I somehow end up at the IMDB site for Mangler 2, and, wondering if it has anything to do with Mangler, type the title into Google. I end up at your review and am PULLED IN. What a wonderful writer you are! It’s so rare these days to read something witty, intelligent, sarcastic-when-needed, and arresting overall. Keep up the craft, man, you’re gonna be famous.
Stoned guy now switched to Sarah McLachlan and wondering if his mom’s gonna be all right
Thanks. I’m always happy to get compliments, even from people who admit to chemically impairing their judgment. :-)
Nathan
Subject: frighteners review
Date: Tue, 22 Jun 2004
From: Erin Howard
just wanted to let you know i laughed my ass off reading your review of the frighteners. i enjoyed this movie as well for what it was and it was nice to have someone put it into perspective for the rest of the critics…the schindler’s list/raiders of the lost ark comment was priceless. keep up the good work!
Thank you kindly. (It’s been so long since I wrote it, I’ll have to go back to find out what I said. I may amuse myself!)
Nathan
Subject: PAPER CUTOUT PEOPLE :please please help me!!
Date: Tue, 15 Jun 2004
From: ken beckwith <magikbeing@comcast.net>
4 movies i dearly miss from my childhood that seem to work their way back into my life over and over, any help would be sooooo very much appreciated, please email magikbeing@comcast.net with anything please!!
movie 1
title i have no idea maybe an anime version of jack and the beanstalk?
slender figures
witch dark princess under a spell kingdom in the sky?
a beanstalk possibly
but what i remember THE MOST is many chairs with paper cutouts of people the witch made that she has cast a spell on the princess to have her believe these are really people, anime-cartoon style fashion, cannot find the title anywhere saw it on american television in the early 90’s or late 80’s. colors i remember white blue darker purple nothing ultra-bright i can remember. the paper cutout figures i’ve never seen anything like that again in all my being. please help me. a prince maybe too? the witch/queen wanted to keep her from? blonde hair princess had i think? son very strange bizzare movie for me. please help me
ok movie #2
this movie was beautiful/amazing to me as a kid and played a huge influence on everything i did/do all of these do they keep coming back this is why i’m asking so direly
cartoon
brighter colors
not anime-esk
title wa smaybe th emagic paintbrush?
artist guy artists hate maybe red or blue
black hair almost sure
cactus king guy greedy pollution allusions?
his minions are variosu metal axes with faces that make a very strange sound it looks like the same artsist or producers who made ’stowaways on the ark’ maybe? anyway though,
by the end of the movie cactus king is changed and hold all creatures of the forest dear he is a cactus still but has bloomed with flowers artsist guy played a part=hero. can’t remember anything else but was so amazing! please if i ever found this i seriously might cry please if u can help i’ve tried so many searches for this over the years.
movie 3
whale movie
cartoon
possibly ‘the white seal’ maybe or dot and the whale? all of these played on american television in the late 80’s /early 90’s at least once
the white seal adventure under the sea somber quiet more serious epic-esque travel for something various sea creatures encounteres morally=antipollution i think, oil spill occurs hiding under water saving whales seal tries to help? oh man
this movie i remember so sad was. someone please help. i don’t think it would keep veyr young children interested, maybe an artist or serious very sensitive child it might.
movie 4
a computer
aliens that burp
a pink bubble a group of friends travel in to get into the aliens spaceship strange space adventure 2 aliens= bro and sister? their fathe ris huge and burps maybe is brown and they are blue and pink? funny liveaction movie. the pink bubble!! and computer diagram similar to a black hole simulation i remember the most. younger -geered movie audience funny but cool to me. this one too was so weird/strange but cool i’d be very interested in finding out what this was, maybe played on disney channel?
any thought/input/help/attempt at helping would be appreciated x10 !!!
respectfully,
sincerely,
ken beckwith ***
I’ll admit, anime and other cartoons are not my forte, but I do know the fourth movie: It’s Explorers (1985), starring a young Ethan Hawke and a young (and alive) River Phoenix.
For the others, I recommend trying the messageboards at badmoviezone.com and badmovies.org. And good luck.
Nathan
Subject: your ‘fan’ [see below - Nathan]
Date: Wed, 02 Jun 2004
From: Chad Denton
Wow.
You’re cynical and mean to the movies you review and ‘hyper-intellectual’ and unemotional? Geesh, compared to the Jabootu guy, Liz Kingsley, and, well, me, you’re pretty damn nice (unless it comes to, say I Stand Alone but that’s an exception). I wonder what review he was referring to?
What a jerk. What’s disturbing is that, apparently from his e-mail address, he works for a public school system in some capacity.
People are odd (and dumb…mostly dumb.)
Chad
Dumb enough that he doesn’t realize the jeopardy he puts his job in — since I’m sure his administrators would be a little upset at the language he’s using in a school email account.
But that’s just me being hyper-Freudian and mega-intellectual again.
Nathan
Subject: Great!
Date: Sun, 11 Apr 2004
From: Malcolm Carlock
I just wanted to mention how much enjoyment I’ve gotten from the reviews on your site. In many cases I’ve finally found out details of obscure films I recall from childhood but was not otherwise able to track down.
And now I know where I can purchase them :-)
Utterly a class act. Please keep up the excellent work!
Malcolm
Always eager to please, and grateful to find that I have.
Thanks,
Nathan
Date: Fri, 28 May 2004
From: Kurt Wood
Your reviews are so f*cking cynical! Get out of your hyper-Freudian mega-intellectual mental masturbation and down into the real world where feelings matter and it isn’t weakness to admit something is emotionally moving to you.
Dude. Chill. It’s a website. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. (Or are they forcing public school students to visit my site now?)
I’d say more, but I’m sure you’ve got a lot of work ahead of you, sending insightful little critiques to all of the other thousands of webmasters who don’t live up to your standards.
Nathan
I’m not a student, and you’re an ass.
Kurt Wood
El Segundo High School
640 Main Street
El Segundo, CA 90245
(310) 615-2662 x367
kwood@esusd.k12.ca.us
See, now you’ve got me curious.
1) Which favorite movie of yours did I dislike?
2) Do you school administrators take kindly to you using your work email to send F-bombs to people you don’t like?
3) Did you read the clearly-stated policy on my mailbag page warning that any comment sent to me may very well be posted there for all the world to see?
4) How do you say “hyper-Freudian mega-intellectual” in Russian?
Nathan
[That last is a reference to the Russian high school courses which Mr. Wood teaches, as explained on his Virtual Classroom page.]
Subject: Hansel & Gretel and kids’ tastes
Date: Thu, 27 May 2004
From: Brandi Weed
“The moral is that I haven’t spent nearly enough time teaching my kids how to identify crap masquerading as entertainment.”
It won’t matter. Kids don’t really have much taste and they won’t figure that out for some years.
Take it from the kid who thought KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park was as cool as it got…
Brandi
But — but — my children must be better!
Nathan
