name: JJ
date: Sun, 21 Jan 2007
subject: New to your site
Hi. I just discovered your site today and have honestly barely had time to check it all out but was curious…. You have some great movie reviews (especially of 80s movies that I really love; you know, cheesy, gory, B-movie offbeat but funny, etc.). Just wandering around, I was surprised that “Ice Pirates” and “The Sword and the Sorcerer” were missing. They would seem to fit in perfectly with the ‘type’ of movie you review. Let’s face it, a site that, for the most part, presents favorable reviews of “Cemetery Man”, “The Beastmaster”, “The Frighteners”, and “Summer School” is a place I want to visit more often!
Thanks!
A New Fan
P.S. I’m also thrilled that you list three of my favorite Rutger Hauer movies and that two of the three are ‘Hot’! “The Hitcher” is still one of the most intense scary movies ever, and “Blade Runner” is a classic. Slightly disappointed you didn’t give “LadyHawke” your highest honor. It’s in my personal all-time fav list, but then, that’s not your problem, is it? :)
JJ
Thanks, JJ. Both of the movies you mention are on the list of titles to get to, but as you may have noticed, there are a lot of movies out there… :)
And no slight to Ladyhawke; it’s a very good movie. I just couldn’t quite call it, “One of the few greatest movies of all time, and you’d better agree, ’cause I’m militant!” But I enjoy it, right down to the unfairly-maligned soundtrack.
Thanks,
Nathan
name: bruce
date: Wed, 17 Jan 2007
subject: review of fallible fiend
nathan shumate your taste is in your mouth. The first time I saw Gone with the Wind I thought that Scarlet was a ridiculous character. Then I dated a girl named Janet. revelation. you read Fallible Fiend . Then along comes George Bush and cohorts. Revelation. But no excuse, you wrote your review in 2004.bruce
Um… Yeah. Somehow, I don’t think that unremarkable political perfidy really makes a slight fantasy novel “come alive,” but if that works for you, go for it.
Nathan
name: Gerard
date: Sun, 14 Jan 2007
subject: 7 Lucky Ninja KidsI just read your review for 7 Lucky Ninja Kids. The original title for the move is (Qi Shao Fu) Lucky 7. & it was made in 1970 not 1989. & There is a second movie.Regards
Gerard
Thanks for writing, but I don’t think that could be right. The fashions alone disallow the idea that this movie was made anytime before the 80’s. (See the third screencap in my review.) I think you must be thinking of a different movie with a similar title.
Thanks,
Nathan
name: cucumberstix
date: Tue 09 Jan 2007
subject: Dinosaurs are fake… and ur both childern
I read the debate (well…. it got alittle too frustrating but i manged to read 85%)
I couldn’t believe it. two (what i thought to be) grown men fought like infants. either repeating the same points or poking at the others grammar.
i would not call myself particular intelligant, nor close minded. i am not religious, and i find science fasenating. so the “nathan” cant come around and say im sticking up for my religion.
though my views differ from “user” alittle, the basic concept is the same. “dinosaurs were created to conderdict the bible”. i am not religious, as i already stated. i dont think the bible is gods word or if there is even one god. the bible was translated and edited, so even if it is god word… its not anymore.
but the fact of being religious ins’t the point. the socity was a the “discovery” and contiuned to be untill (i would say) mid 70’s if not sooner.
after jesus’ death the people were told (by jesus) of judgement day. so many people thought jesus would be back in a few years and gave there lives for thier god. marders.
history repeating it self, it would be in the best intrest of the “goverment” (i use this loosly, very loosely. someone or anyone in power) that this did not happen again.
people need to trust their leaders. and in times of panick (or “the times to lie or bend the truth”) they could turn to thier god for answers.
thus i beleive dinosaurs were created and fabercated and, yes, made by man.
i understand u do not see eye to eye (im speaking to nathan….) but do not belittle people who don’t.
my friends and i have had this fight in the same way you and “user” did. we repeated we yelled we made fun of and belittled each other. but we laugh it off later and delare neither the winner (u said u were the winner by forfit at the end of debate one[though you did state u werent, but not very convinceantly]).and i most certainly dont post it on the internet claim self rightousness (u say you dont, but i say you do)
i think this topic will reaval its self in due time.
if u belive fine (good even. u dont sound crazy like me) and if people dont fine too (good even. they dont sound gullibale like you)
let sleeping dogs lie. i have thought that dinosaurs dont exsist for about 10 yrs and i have barely persauded anyone. but on the same note noone has persaued me.u both acted like childern, but also made very awsome points for the arugment. this allowed me to see that both side hold a great deal of regrad and proof. i hope one day there will be an educated debate on this, that isnt done by two whinning grown men.ps. im not proof reading, so … there
[Some messages really don't need replies, do they?]
name: Alex X
date: Sun 10 Dec 2006
subject: correction to your defence of blockbuster
Just read the article “the truth about blockbuster”. I would like to point out that it inaccuratly claims that blockbuster does not edit movies. It may be a moot point but negotiating with a distributor or studio to drop a scene from a movie and there fore changing it’s content however slightly is called editing. Whether it is with permission (done legally) and not directly by the blockbuster company it is still mandated by blockbuster. Thus I don’t beleive you can accuratly claim that blockbuster doesn’t edit movies. better luck next time,Alex X
But the point you gloss over (i.e., saying that it being mandated by Blockbuster) is exactly the point of what I wrote. Blockbuster doesn’t edit anything by their own fiat. They may very well tell a studio or other distributor that they want an edited version. It is then entirely up to the distributor whether they edit or stick to their guns. Many movies have thus been edited to Blockbuster’s standards, and quite a few haven’t; Blockbuster either then decides to carry the unedited version, or not to carry it at all. But the distance between “Blockbuster tells distributors what they are willing to carry” and “Blockbuster edits movies” is exactly the gap I was pointing out.
Name: sam
Date: Thu, 07 Dec 2006
Subject: alphaville review
hi nate, or whoever else may read -Just read your review of Alphaville. I hesitate to bother, but it’s one of my favorite movies, so here goes nothing — give it another chance.I know you’re probably thinking “here’s some Euro-loving snob” but I’m not, I actually like very few French movies. So please here me out.Alphaville was not, actually, a slap at American movies, or defining itself as “not-American”. Godard (even more than the other New Wavers) LOVED American movies, and Alphaville was only one of his attempts to make “American-style” movies.
Of course, some of the things you say are correct – not all of the resonances are easy to get. (I, for instance, didn’t know about the character Lemmy Caution in anything other than Alphaville).
But just don’t try so hard. There is no test on the movie, and a lot of the stuff is just supposed to be funny. The machine-gun firing squad in the swimming pool — just funny. And what about that stupid, jump-cut fight scene?!
Anyway, I know a lot of people try to use European culture to make Americans feel stupid, so I don’t blame you for taking things a certain way. And you may never come to love or even like Alphaville, but maybe (fortified by the knowledge that Godard is not, actually, trying to make fun of you) give it another chance.
Thanks,
Sam
Thanks for writing, Sam. Of course, I know that there are plenty of people who like Alphaville a lot more than I did, and they’re welcome to that; it doesn’t gall me that they have their opinions, and I hope it doesn’t gall them that I didn’t connect with the movie nearly so well.
That said, I rarely will rewatch a movie to try and see “what I missed” just because other people like it. Hey, I’m funny that way. I’ve got enough movies that I haven’t yet seen once that I really don’t want to spare the time to go back and rewatch something that I didn’t like overmuch the first time because other people think I ought to like it more than I did. (I was the same way with Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: I don’t care how much everyone else loved it, I found it meandering, self-indulgent, and derivative of too many other better movies.)
But even a movie I didn’t like is worthwhile if it forces me to think and engage it. So while I ended up disappointed with Alphaville, I do think it was worth watching. Once.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Are you kidding me?
Date: Thu, 30 Nov 2006
Name: UnREAL
So please tell me you have another job? Who in their right mind takes the time to review movies that no normal person in this world would want to see? What gave you this idea? the money and time wasted to do this is killing me. Your reviews are a sad attempt at being a comdeian critic.
I feel sorry for you and your family, especially those you love. I would be embarrassed that you would even have something like this. Who watches these videos besides yourself? I think I can count on a my hands and feet all of the movies that I might have recognized out of 500+. Why not at least review movies that everyone watches? Oh ya, that is right, someone already does that and actually does a good job.
You might be wondering why I am even writing this e-mail. It is because a friend of mine told me about this site and what a joke it is. Why don’t you do something productive with your life? Why have you wasted your time away watching soft porn, in some cases, when you could be doing something productive like learning a new skill or writing for a newspaper or something.
If this is just a hobby, it is a pathetic one that is not helping you develop anything in life.
So in short, GET A LIFE BUDDY!
Boy, you sure set me straight. Consider your good deed done for the day, you Boy Scout.
Nathan
Subject: The comment at the end of the review of Pumpkinhead
Date: Sat, 25 Nov 2006
Name: Corvis521
Sir,I saw Pumpkinhead once a few years ago. Being from “the hinterlands of Appalachia” and having had at the time little patience for slights and affronts against the people of my home, and by association against me, I did not give said movie a chance to win me over with the qualities you sited. (yes, my English teacher of old would be horrified by such a run-on sentence).In the years since, I would like to think I have matured to some degree. I try to remember that redneck “jokes”, though PC approved, are nothing more than the mean-spirited noises of stupid, close-minded dregs. In another time and place, I assure myself, they would be making fun of Jews, Polaks (not sure of the spelling of that one), African-Americans, or any other “acceptable” minority group. As a rule, I content myself knowing that those who call the south ‘the fly-over States’ are people I’ve no wish to meet anyway, and that those who laugh when I use “stupid” words like “reckon” or “y’all” are in fact the truely stupid ones.
However, it is not so easy to dismiss your comment about inbreeding. You, sir, are clearly a man of letters. Your education and intelligence show clearly in your writings. In short, you are a person who should know better. That you would state so lightly that we here are all inbred is a fierce slap in my face and in the faces of those like me.
I do not suppose that your intention was to do offense to anyone. You seem a decent enough person, based upon what I’ve read of your writings. Therefore, I request that you remove the offending joke from the end of your review of Pumpkinhead.
Your attention to this matter is greatly appreciated.
Thanks for writing. I’ve been trying to find a way to phrase this in such a manner that it doesn’t seem a callous dismissal, but as that may not be possible:
The fact that a single person writes to express offense does not obligate me in any way to eliminate the offending item, especially when said person does so anonymously, effectively choosing not to stand up for his opinion. Yes, I made a joke at the expense of a certain ethnicity or subculture — or rather, I wrote a joke to be spoken by the Hieratic Head of Ezra Pound (who functions as a scripted character on my site, expressing opinions that are never necessarily my own) which references a stereotype. And you are of course free to take offense as seems you good. But the fact that the entire movie bears the brunt of your disdain certainly tells me that the problem here is neither the movie in question, nor my review of it, but your own thin-skinned sense of injury.
There’s an awful lot of internet out there. I’m sure you’re offended by a good deal of it, judging from your low tolerance for affrontery, and what parts don’t excite your own sense of unfairness certainly cause offense in somebody else. Beyond the internet, there’s are libraries of written text which are certain to offend you, or other sensitive individuals, in at least as great a proportion. Just think of the great vacuum which would replace the world’s body of writing if the expressed offense of a single anonymous person were considered compelling grounds to remove said writing from the public sphere.
So in answer to your request: No, I will not remove the joke simply because it offends you. Nor would I comply with any similar request from “urban” rappers, goths, country music fans, or any other group which certainly could find greater cause for offense on my site than you. To all such aggrieved groups, my answer would be the same: The fact that you are offended wields no compulsory moral weight with me. Or, as the bumper sticker says:
“Pull up your big-girl panties and deal.”
Nathan
I attempted to be polite in my message to you. If I failed, it was not intentional.
And yet you clearly took strong offense to my words, judging by your bitter and insulting reply. I made no demands of you, and I make none now. I merely made a request. Yes, as I stated in my previous email, I was much easier to offend in my youth. I have matured. Clearly you have not. Cast no dispersions upon my thin skin if your own is thinner still.
I doubt the above words have any meaning to you. You are too secure in your own false sense of superiority. If they do, that’s nice. If not, well, what’s one more mindless bigot in a world overflowing with them.
I overestimated you as a person. Fear not, I won’t make that mistake again.
Your disappointed reader
Matthew Anderson.
What? I refuse to accomodate your sense of aggrieved victimhood, and thus I’m “one more mindless bigot”? You certainly don’t seem shy about being judgmental and closed-minded. As per the privacy policy you assented to by sending me this message, I’ll post both of your missives on my site, and let your own thin-skinned flailing be seen for what it is.
Nathan
You insult a person and expect they won’t be offended? If my reply offended you, tough. You started this with your stupid assumption, contrary to any evidence, that I was demanding you remove that joke. I demanded nothing. Free expression is for everyone. Obnoxious, petulant, eternal childern such as yourself included. You like to strike out but not when someone strikes back? Go cry to mommy.
Methinks the redneck doth protest too much. As far as I can see, this all boils down to: You got offended. I didn’t accomodate you. You started foaming at the mouth. I hope that your white-hot righteous rage keeps you warm at night, and I bid you adieu.
Nathan
Aww, the baby bigot played the redneck card. How utterly expected. Thanks for showing your true colors.
(Sigh.) Yes, you’re right. That’s what you wanted to hear, isn’t it? You’re right. I’m a big dumb bigot who decided to choose to pick on rural Appalachians because every other underpriveleged group was protected by the PC police. I stay up nights dreaming of ways to insult the entire group. Congratulations; you have uncovered my hidden secret, and once more proven yourself superior in every way to everyone who disagrees with you or thinks you’re a whiny twit. You may now anoint yourself Crown Protector of All Appalachian-Americans, and go find another windmill to tilt at. Satisfied?
Nathan
Subject: Deathsport
Date: Wed, 08 Nov 2006
Name: Sandra
Hi Nathan, I was just cruising your movie reviews and thought I’d comment on DEATHSPORT. I agree that its a crappy movie, but it seemed to me that it had the potential to be better, if the writers had been a bit less dense. If, for instance, it had been mentioned that the Range Guides were mutants ( only not cannibal ones), then their Zen Vulcan demeanour begins to make sense. Well, never mind. I found the ending to be such a Star Wars ripoff that I was expecting Ankar Moor to tell Kaz “I am your father!” – though that would be quite a trick, as the two men appear to be roughly the same age.
Yes, I must admit that I failed to pick up on all the Star Wars correspondences. (What can I say? I was young.) Ken over at Jabootu.com fills in my omissions well with his own review, though. Highly recommended.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Movie title?
Date: Sun, 29 Oct 2006
Name: Matthew Smith
Hey Nathan, I really dig your reviews and I was wondering if perhaps you could help me with the title of a film I watched a long, long time ago. It was a medieval fantasy, vintage 80s, and I distinctly remember a scene of the young hero stepping in dragon doo, after being led to the creature’s valley by a strange old man (he may have been a black knight, my memory’s weak on that bit). The dragon itself looked pretty ragged (he had a wound I could see his ribs through) and I think the director meant the hero’s ‘triumph’ to be somewhat lacking. The only other piece I remember is the princess/love interest talking to her father in their castle, with a swath of the countryside visible outside. I think it’s criminal that Dragonworld takes up valuable space in my brain while this morsel has been slowly slipping away.In Alaska we didn’t have much to do during the winter, so my family usually ended up going to one of the four mom’n'pop stores in our area. All of them had a tremendous selection of scifi/horror (I watched the entire Prehysteria trilogy) and I would not be the person I am today if my father had not taken it upon himself to rent a double bill of Predator 2 and ET. I have many fond and hazy memories of the films we watched.I tried to look up those stores on the web, and it seems only two are still in business (Barb’s Video and Point West). Sad, really, because the kind of movies they offered are getting harder and harder to find nowadays, without resorting to $99 copies on Amazon. That’s one of the reasons I think what you’re doing is so great. I’ve never heard of, say, Land of Doom, but I know exactly what you’re talking about when you recount the story, characters, cliches, etc. and the over/underwhelming feeling you get out of certain films. I swear, if filmmakers today (here’s where I sound like a curmudgen) put half as much effort into their movies as filmmakers during the 80s put into their boxcovers I might watch more modern stuff. Those box covers really were awesome. Especially Yor’s. And the one for Exteriminators of the Year 3000. Another sad thing is that when these movies do come out on DVD, the covers are these awful generic deals, with the name stars and a tagline photoshopped onto some blurry backdrop. Hell, I’m not even asking for extras, just a pretty package. Blue Underground and Anchor Bay do a good job, for the most part. Troma’s covers either look excellant or repulsive (aesthetically speaking).Sorry to go off on a tangent, and good luck with your screenplays.
Hi Matthew,
The only live-action ’80’s medieval fantasy with a dragon that I can even remember is Dragonslayer, and the scene you describe isn’t too familiar. (Been too long since I watched it. Gotta review that sometime.)
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Mysterious Mr. Wong
Date: Sat, 28 Oct 2006
Name: Barbara Gordon
A quick look through my Five Thousand dictionary suggests that the Chinese character left on the bodies is Huang, meaning yellow, also imperial.
Well! It all becomes clear to me, then!
Nathan
Subject: Jack and the Witch
Date: Mon, 16 Oct 2006
Name: Paige
WOW! I, too thought I was losing my then pre-teen mind when I remembered an anime (then just called cartoons to me) with the hero Jack, a girl (whose name I’d forgotten but remembered the white hair)and a witch. My remembered scene was Allegra frozen in the ice cave and Jack coming to save her (although after reading some of the posts and some other links, I’ve remembered far more). I personally have always been “against” anime’ based on pokemon, sailor moon and some of the other mainline TV stuff. But, I have always hoped in my heart that I would find this movie so I could buy it.Any idea when we might, may, hope to see it in DVD? I’m nervous about buying from an overseas company but can’t seem to find it anywhere else.Thanks for letting me know I’m not crazy (at least not about this!)Washington State
Unfortunately, I have no information on any English-language DVD; as far as I know, only one damaged print is available in English, the one used by Cool Stuff to produced their tapes. If I ever do hear differently, I’ll broadcast the information far and wide.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Meta-Review?
Date: Mon, 25 Sep 2006
Name: Andrew Sherrod
Funny, your “Treks Not Taken” review reminded me of two Stanislaw Lem books. One where he writes reviews of books that were never written, and one where he writes the introductions to imaginary books. (It also reminded me of some Jorge Luis Borges short stories, but the Lem works seemed more apropos.)Maybe your review is chapter 21, a meta-review in the manner of Lem, explaining why by writing the book itself they tainted the concept; a concept which was perfect as an idea and lost its perfectiion by being made real.Or maybe I am just bored and too tired and felt like throwing around words like “meta=review” and “apropos”.
Nice try, but your academic bona fides are undermined by your failure to use the words “juxtaposition” or “dialectic.”
Nathan
Subject: The mask from My Skin!
Date: Fri, 15 Sep 2006
Name: Mindy
You probably already know this, or if you didn’t before someone has probably mailed you about it already, but the mask from the movie My Skin! is based on a real mask. It’s part of the getup of the Plague Doctors that were in London during the black plague. You can find a little about them at wikipedia.I take wiki info with a grain of salt, but hey: it has pretty pictures and it jives with what I knew going in to this.Ah yeah, I almost forgot. I know you probably have a massive backlog of stuff you’d like to hunt down and review, but if you ever get the opportunity you should watch some Jan Svankmajer films. He’s a stop-motion animator from the former Czech republic, and he does simply amazing work. I like all of what I’ve seen of his films so far, but the ones I recommend the most is Faust. (Not to be confused with godawful film Faust: Love of the Damned)It’s not for everybody. It’s pretty surreal. There’s a blend of puppetry, stop motion animation (some claymation, and some with real life objects), and possibly the best demon summoning scene ever put to film. We’re talking real ‘Lesser Key of Solomon’ stuff.He does a really fine version of Alice in Wonderland as well. His stuff isn’t even hard to find, Little Otek has been shown on cable a few times.
Anyway, thought you might find that interesting. I love your review site, so keep on trucking.
Thanks, Mindy. I didn’t know about the Plague Doctors; I’ll have to add a note to the review.
Nathan
Subject: Dead Season review
Date: Sat, 02 Sep 2006
Name: Ted Newsom
Well, ya takes da good wif da bad. Nathan, I can’t argue with your opinion… but I’ll say it was fun to be part of a general lambasting. Personally, I had a ball killing people and getting killed several times. I just hope you’re kinder if and when you get around to reviewing THE MAKED MONSTER.Ted Newsom
Hi, Ted. I’m never kind. Nor am I cruel. I am the objective voice of the cosmos.
Nathan
Subject: Solar Crisis: Not direct-to-video…
Date: Sun, 27 Aug 2006
Name: Chris
I ran across your excellent review of Solar Crisis today, and I do agree that its a stinker. Howver, it was not a cdirect-to-video release. It did see a theatrical run, although it was a short one. I know this because I personally saw it in a theater. This would have been during the summer of 1991. At the time I was saving movie ticket stubs and I might actually still have mine from this stinker in a box of junk someplace.I guess it was a huge enough flop that no one remembers seeing it in theaters, adn presumably the makers of it want nothing to do with it anymore.-Chris.
But — but — that means that I’d have to admit to a lapse in factual accuracy! The public’s trust in the internet as a reliable research source would collapse!
Thanks. I’ll make an edit to the review.
Nathan
Subject: Night of the day the bride of the dawn movie
Date: Fri, 18 Aug 2006
Name: Jason
Where and how can I get a copy of this movie.
This movie tops among my top 3 and I need a copy
to show my friends, because this is something I need to show them, just words cannot describe.thanks
Jason
Do you really dislike your friends that much? Sigh.
I found my copy on Ebay; that’s where I suggest you look. And I hope they still like you in the morning.
Nathan
Subject: Living Nightmare review
Date: Thu, 17 Aug 2006
Name: Rick Popko
Hey Nathan,Just wanted to drop you a line to say your “Living Nightmare” review had me busting a gut this morning. Thanks for the laughs.
-Rick
Thanks, Rick. Any time I can traumatize my few remaining brain cells for the amusement of my audience, it puts me on a high for the rest of the day. No, wait, I think that’s the glue fumes…
Nathan
Subject: Congratulations
Date: Thu, 10 Aug 2006
Name: Wagner
Hi! I´m Wagner from Brazil.I would like to congratulate you, for the great site, and for the reviews!! I´m glad to always find a new review in Coldfusion.
I try to read other B movies sites, but new reviews are not so frequent…Congratulations!
Thanks, Wagner. It’s all part of my creed: “What I lack in quality or insight, I make up in punctuality!”
Nathan
Subject: Podcasts
Date: Tue, 08 Aug 2006
Name: Evan
I really like your podcasts.It is a great concept to turn reviews into podcasts.Have you tried putting images on the files so when you listen to them on itunes or your i-pod you can see the movie poster while listening to a review?One of my favorite reviews on your site is of the Horrid Zombie Lake.Could you possibly turn that into a podcast?If not thats fine.Also where did the Name cold fusion reviews come from?Evan
Thanks, Evan. Glad to know somebody’s listening to the podcasts out there. To answer your questions in order:
1) Images in the files? It’s not something I ever thought about. I’ve got me an older MP3 player with nothing but a two-line LCD display; it can’t even handle .M4A files. So I wouldn’t even have a way to test an see if I was doing it right.
2) Zombie Lake. Unfortunately, right now it’s as much as I can do to get a podcast out for the new reviews as they go live. When I have spare time, I plan to work my way slowly backward into the review archive, but spare time’s about as rare as hen’s teeth around here right now, so I’ll have to say, Don’t hold your breath. (Underwater. Like a nazi zombie.)
3) Cold Fusion. I live in Utah, and about fifteen years ago there was a big kerfuffle when a couple of researchers from the U of U held a press conference to announce that they had achieved “cold fusion” — nuclear fusion at room temperatures. Unfortunately, absolutely no one else could replicate their results, and the two became the laughingstock of the physics community. Aside from the local color, I thought it was the perfect metaphor for the field of genre filmmaking — the expectation of a great artistic glow, and the end result of an inert beaker.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: 7 Lucky Ninja Kids
Date: Tue, 08 Aug 2006
Name: T. Rigney
I’m glad I’m not the only one who loved this silly little kung fu flick.Having paid one whole American dollar to acquire it, I honestly didn’t think it would be worth much of anything. Imagine my surprise when I actually found myself enjoying the kung fu stylings of what is essentially a Hong Kong version of The Little Rascals. I guess it helps matters considerably that I’m currently enthralled with martial arts cinema. Go figure.Anyway, great site you’ve got. Thoroughly enjoyable.
Tell Ezra I said “Hey, man.”
Take care.
T. Rigney
The Film Fiend
http://filmfiend.livejournal.com
Think it’s too early to declare ourselves the 7 Lucky Ninja Kids Fan Club?
Nathan
Subject: Sword of the Valiant: The Legend of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight
Date: Tue, 08 Aug 2006
Name: Gabriel Syme
If you can get hold of a copy of this film, please review it. It’s not available on DVD in the UK but appears to be in the US.This film is unintentional comedy gold.
That’s the one with Sean Connery, right? I remember seeing half of it on TV when I was about thirteen years old. It’s on my list of movies to track down and review eventually.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Sleepaway camp
Date: Sun, 23 Jul 2006
Name: Aaron Liebman
Hey, I just read your review of the film and you seemed confused by the ending of the film, saying that it forgets about catching the killer. Angela/Peter is the killer. The Aunt that adopted Peter raised him as a girl and thus gave him the identity of his sister. After that, who wouldn’t turn into a killer?
Yes, thank you, I got that. My point (seven years ago when I wrote that review) was that simply the revelation of Angela’s identity/gender seemed a poor spot to stop the movie.
Nathan
Subject: Land of College Prophets
Date: Sun, 16 Jul 2006
Name: Thomas Edward Seymour
Thanks for the review of The Land of College Prophets. Sorry you didn’t find it up to par but I actually do appreciate the coverage.-Peace,Thomas Edward Seymour
Hi, Thomas. Thanks for taking it well. And I’m very much in the minority on this, so you’re very obviously doing something right. There was a lot of energy in the production and good camera work, I’m just such a stickler for story…
Nathan
Subject: Shark Movies
Date: Sun, 09 Jul 2006
Name: The Turzman
I cannot say how much I appreciate sites like this. You, Ken and Liz have helped me pass away many a boring day where the hours are long and the work is tedious.
My only concern is the lack of attention paid to the genre of “Shark Movie” (a.k.a: JAWS Clones).
You are performing a dis-dervice by not warning readers to avoid such turds as “Shark Zone,” Red Water,” “Blue Demon,” etc.
My only request is that you do not bad-mouth “Mako: Jaws of Death.”
May the memory of Richard Jaeckel live forever.
Carry on…
At present, I’m content to let Jabootu.com carry the brunt of the shark movie subgenre. Because if I don’t review the shot-in-Romania kidvids, nobody will!
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Killers In The Woods
Date: Sat, 08 Jul 2006
Name: Dan
Maybe it was supposed to be a horrible attempt of a faux-snuff movie.And can you believe the movie is 30 dollars at the site? I can think of two things I’d rather spend 30 dollars on:-A used athletic cup from one of the members of the 1996 Winnipeg Jets hockey team-A full day’s meal at McDonalds (I cant believe I just said that)This low budget schlock only inspires me further to revolutionize the independent horror scene using a system that no other production has yet to utilize: high standards.
Man, it’s not even competent faux-snuff. Even that is giving it too much benefit of the doubt.
As for the thirty dollar price tag, think of it this way: As soon as he sells one copy, he’s made back his production budget!
And as for high standards in the indie horror arena, they exist. The failures inherent in Killers in the Woods weren’t because of budgetary restrictions, but because of a total dearth of talent involved. Throw five million dollars (or fifty million) at this project, and you’d have something that sucks just as hard, but on a broader scale.
Nathan
Subject: America’s Back Porch review
Date: Fri, 07 Jul 2006
Name: Micah Van Hoff
I just read your review of America’s Back Porch yesterday, and today saw an interview with author J.C. Hallman centering on his recent book called The Devil is a Gentleman. It seemed to have a similar premise, strange beliefs in America (although this time focusing on fringe religions). It also seems to have the exact opposite tone. Anyway, the description and interview in this link will do better than me at explaining why I thought you would be interested.Love your site, keep up the good work.
See, that’s the kind of thing I can get behind: An informed nonbeliever, trying to observe the belief system from within instead of merely mocking it from without. I’ll have to keep my eye out for that one.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Killers in the Woods
Date: Sun, 02 Jul 2006
Name: Kristofer Upjohn
Hi, Nathan:
Kristofer from B-Scared.com here. Just wanted to compliment you on your review of Killers in the Woods (and to make a shameless plug for my horror site). I haven’t seen the movie – and having read your review will refrain from doing so – but the review is magnificent. Chock full of wit, humor and intelligence, the review is terrifically entertaining. I’ve read your site for a while (my ex-roomie discovered it) and have grown to admire your work. It’s always smart, well-written and thoughtful, not to mention comprehensive. You may be pleased to know (or not, I dunno) that – in my world at least – you’ve come to be a canon for good writing. I know my review writing generally doesn’t measure up to yours and your reviews stand as a challenge to me to improve my entertainment writing. Thanks again for the depth and, of course, the fun. Great site!
Kristofer Upjohn
www.b-scared.com
You’re too kind. This review practically wrote itself; I only had to keep asking, “Has my description yet matched the excremental quality of the movie itself? No? Keep digging!”
Nathan
Subject: Re: America’s Back Porch
Date: Fri, 30 Jun 2006
Name: Allan Lear
Hi Nathan
Just thought you might be pleased to know that this book has had absolutely no impact on this side of the pond either. I got my girlfriend, who works in a large books chain, to check its recent sales – she couldn’t find a figure :)Of course, this might be because if somebody says “Hey guys, the Americans are crazy!” we tend to respond with resigned shrugs.The English, as a rule, do not celebrate the craziness of America any more than they celebrate the truculence of France or the grinding boredom of Germany. We are happy to know in our hearts of hearts the the English are God’s own people, and all other nationalities are just damaged, limping attempts to duplicate our shining brilliance.
This is, of course, the same view every nationality secretly holds of itself, with an equal lack of justification, and multiculturalism be damned. :)
Love the site, by the way – I believe I’m contractually obliged to add that.
Al
Thanks, Allan, although I must immediately suspect your Englishness, as you didn’t once refer to America as “The Colonies.”
Nathan
Subject: I Stand Alone
Date: Thu, 22 Jun 2006
Name: Dave Cooper
I read with interest your review of I Stand Alone, which I haven’t seen and don’t intend to. However, for anyone who found that butcher a fascinating human being and wants to see more of him, good news: the character appears briefly in another movie by the same director. It’s called Irréversible, and Roger Ebert’s take on it, although a positive review, made me decide not to rent it. If his description is accurate, then I have to conclude that the film is pretentious and unwatchable trash.Judging from the reviews of Irréversible and your review of I Stand Alone, I suspect that Gaspar Noé has some issues.
I know. Irreversible is dead-last on my list of movies to see; once I’ve seen every other movie ever made — in every foreign language, unsubtitled — then I MIGHT consider watching another Gaspar Noe film.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: 2069: A Sex Odyssey (1974)
Date: Thu, 25 May 2006
Name: Dennis
Hello,I just wanted to point out that this movie is not Swedish, but German. Evidenced by an all-german cast, a german director and a german (bavarian) beer hall and traditional bavarian clothing.Dennis
Yeah, I know. I’ve gotten called on that once before, but I’m too lazy to rewrite all my easy jokes.
Nathan
Subject: IT CAME FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE
Date: Thu, 25 May 2006
Name: Timothy Johnson
WOW!
You put more time and thought into writing that review than we did into the movie!Tim.(seriously, its not a film for everyone. There are many that love it – to which I myself don’t understand – but why one would waste their time reviewing something they don’t care about is beyond me….to each his own.)
Well, for one reason, the movie was sent to me to review.
And for another, sometimes writing a review is the only way I can get anything out of the viewing experience. Judging by my mail, my more negative reviews are among the reader favorites, so it isn’t exactly a waste.
Later,
Nathan
Subject: Movie Review Suggestions
Date: Sat, 13 May 2006
Name: Lisa Lovell
I found your site by ‘Google-ing’ for “The Magic Sword“. Having found your review of that film wickedly humorous, I began wandering through your site.I must admit to a fondness for movies like “Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People“, “Crack in the World“, and Night of the Lepus“If you haven’t seen these, you truly ought.Best Regards,Lisa Lovell
Thanks a lot, Lisa. You’ll be happy to know that all three titles are on my list of movies to review, and Night of the Lepus is a shoo-in if I ever do an “Original Enterprise Crew” Video Binge.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Scanners
Date: Wed, 10 May 2006
Name: Sandra
Hi Nathan. Things have changed since SCANNERS was made. These days, you can have “incredibly absent acting ability and negative personal charisma” and become a big star. Just look at Ben Affleck! Or rather, don’t. I’ve been a big Michael Ironside fan ever since I saw SCANNERS. You don’t really think wimpy Cameron Vale has REALLY conquered Daryl Revok at the end , do you? No, me neither. By the way “Revok” backward is “Kover” and “Vale” = “Veil” (or ‘cover), plus another character is called “A. Crostic”… Whatever. If they do a remake, they should cast Ironside as “Dr. Ruth”.Sandra
Well, I think that Revok made a miscalculation — he expected to suck Cameron’s personality right of his head, but since he HAD no personality…
And as far as names go, you forgot ComSec’s traitor, Keller (i.e., blind and deaf).
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: Some unsolicited ass-kissing
Date: Wed, 10 May 2006
Name: Ian Duncanson
Hi! I just figured I’d tell you how much I enjoy the reviews available on your site. I’ve got a lot of downtime at my job and have been a huge fan of schlock flicks since I was a kid and am also a collector, especially of Italian crime, cheesy horror and post-nuke. Yours was the only review of Equalizer 2000 (which I’m now the not-so-proud owner of!) that I could locate on the Internet! I love sites that have a nice library of reviews of obscure flicks, and every time I run across a new title that interests me I go through my bookmarks of sites to see if it’s been reviewed on any of them!
Check out “Slaughter High, “Hunter’s Blood” and “Rituals,” some new favorites here!Cheers,
–Ian
Thanks much, Ian. And all three titles you suggest are on the list, so assuming I live that long, I’m bound to review ‘em sooner or later.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: History of Video/Long Rambling Story
Date: Tue, 09 May 2006
Name: Matt
First, a question: Do you know where I could find a comprehensive history of the home video format, preferably in book form? One that covers the technology, the market, the artistic side of direct-to-video features, independent chains, mom’n'pop, Blockbuster, etc. etc.?Another question: What is your opinion on ordering movies over the web? I tend to use the internet for passive consumption only, so I’m inexperienced in the proper etiquette/level of common sense needed in doing so.Now, a tenuously connected ramble that I hope you find amusing and/or interesting. Where I live in upstate New York we have two video stores, one an independent chain, the other a “mom’n'pop” place.The quaint ol’ time video mart I’ll get to in a moment.The chain, which shall remain nameless (cough, Movie Gallery, cough) is all right, as far as these things go. When they sold their old inventory I got two dozen+ VHS for about twelve bucks, so I can’t complain there. However, they have one irritating/annoying/head-scratching practice . . . alphabetical order. For EVERYTHING. All together. No genre distinctions. No wall of Horror-with-every-sci-fi-film-lumped-in. “Black Chicks Gone Crazy” next to “The Blues Brothers” and “Bambi“.
Plus, they stocked 17 copies of “Garfield: The Movie“.
Why would they change the one thing that makes Blockbuster et al pleasant? The idea that, if you’re going to get a certain kind of movie, you know where to look in a general sort of way? All the other places I’ve ever been in gave you a sort of wyrd sanctuary, where you could voluntarily exile yourself in search of the perfect crap rental. It’s just odd.
The mom’n'pop place on the other hand . . .
It’s called Rebel’s Video and it’s owned by Jerry and Karen Rebel, late of Tennessee. Aside from rentals, they offer a general store and a taxi service. The singage is a gigantic Confederate flag lined with Christmas lights. Jerry speaks with a melodic southern accent and makes chili behind the counter. “This is mighty hot chili, I don’t know if yoo-ar’ gonn’ be able a eat this chili.” Also, sometimes he just wears overalls and suspenders. He once gave me three cases of Sarasoda for free because they had expired. Nice place, they stock a lot of Full Moon and Lion’s Gate crud, but I don’t mind, because it’s Five-4-Five-4-Five every day all week.
When I was in Alaska our town Homer had three video stores for a population of +- 5,000, and the hamlet down the road had a rental place housed in an absolutely HUGE barn. The winters of my youth were spent largely inside, watching Godzilla and Guilia, and Ah-nold and Ah-nold’s rip-offs.
True story: My dad rented ET and Predator 2 as a double bill. Guess which we watched first. I have not appreciated Spielberg since.
Their last name was actually “Rebel”? I guess it’s better than being Mr. and Mrs. Thesouthisgonnariseagain, but…
To answer your questions:
1) No, I don’t know of any such.
2) When you speak of purchasing movies over the web, do you mean online retailers like Amazon? I’ve used a variety of them, plus purchased several DVDs and tapes from Ebay sellers (and even a couple of bootleggers, not that I’d admit to it), and had no problems at all. It’s pretty much the same thing as mail-order, but faster. If, on the other hand, you’re talking about purchasing digital content over the internet, I don’t have any real experience. I have downloaded videos for free, but nothing I’ve paid for. (And what I’ve downloaded has been legitimately free, from public domain sources like archive.org or publicdomaintorrents.com.)
Did I miss anything? :)
Nathan
Subject: Japanese phonecards
Date: Wed, 03 May 2006
Name: Claudio Mandrini
Hello.
I am a serious Italian collector of Coca-Cola phonecards.I am interested to have Japanese Coca-Cola phonecards.Do you have Japanese Coca-Cola phonecards ??
Do you know some vendors of Japanese Coca-Cola phonecards ??
I wait your positive news.
Thanks.
Best Regards.
Claudio from Italy.
Hi Claudio,
No offense, but did you actually read what I wrote about my phonecards? I collected them when I was in Japan fifteen years ago. I don’t buy, sell, or trade them.
Nathan
Subject: bad reviews kick ass
Date: Tue, 02 May 2006
Name: Renny
Nathan, I think only you and Roger Ebert are equals in crafting exquisitely-worded critical beatdowns of truly bad movies. Your review of I Stand Alone is equally hilarious to me after I read the other reviews of it on imdb and none of them hate it with your passion (Ebert’s famous review of North is its only equal). This sounds awful for the struggling low-budget moviemakers out there, but please write more reviews that just skewer bad movies on hot meathooks; they’re just more fun to read.
But… but… watching them hurts so much! I mean, I Stand Alone by itself shaved seven years off my life. (And sitting around like a sedentary lump watching movies shaves off another twenty, but…) While I’m happy to skewer a movie as part of the healing process, even I can only take cinematic dross of that level of repugnance on a rare basis.
But keep tuning in, and the stinkers will continue to show up on an irregular basis.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: The Kennel Murder Case
Date: Thu, 27 Apr 2006
Name: Brandi
“Of course, this was also the era in which Batman was an official deputy of the Gotham P.D., and Superman’s say-so was as good as a jury verdict to any officer in Metropolis, so Vance definitely seems to be a product of his era of pop culture.”Actually, neither Superman nor Batman existed in 1933; Superman debuted in 1938 and Batman in 1939. Both, in their early incarnations, were more like tough-guy pulp heroes than their jollier Silver Age incarnations (which is what I think you’re thinking of); I’ve seen 30s Superman comics where Superman beats up a wife abuser and intimidates a criminal he’s carrying by swooping down close to powerlines and joking about what would happen if he accidentally grounded himself– and Batman used to carry a gun and even at one time watched a villain die in his own deathtrap (an acid pit, yet) with no more comment than “A fitting end.”
All of which is true (and not news to me), but beside the point; I was speaking of “era” not as a specific year, but the general time period. The character of Philo Vance appeared in movies from 1929 to 1947; that certainly covers the Golden Age period during which both superheroes could be described as I did.
Thanks,
Nathan
Subject: The Third Society
Date: Sun, 23 Apr 2006
Name: Leslie Bates
As a former grunt I would be more concerned about her marksmanship medals. And having worked in hospital security I have taken short courses in guard-fu and nurse-fu for dealing with violent persons.If I were to send you a screener copy of something (a really, really, really extreme case of wishful thinking on my part) I would admit up front that it was a monument to my vanity and invite you to “have at it.”Les
Too often, people who carpetbomb the internet with screeners don’t stop to examine the kind of reviews I do. Not that I consider myself a hatchetman, as my many positive reviews will attest; but if I didn’t like a movie, I feel no obligation to pull punches on a screener seeking distribution as opposed to something that’s already commercially available.
Nathan
