From: “Waud’s Funeral Home”
Date sent: Fri, 27 Jun 2003
Your review of 28 Days Later was one of the most fun and well written, in any medium, I’ve ever read. Thank you. I saw the film today and concur with your views. I’ve bookmarked the site and plan on making it a regular stop.
Cheers!
Richard Warner
Thanks! (Seeing mail in my inbox from a funeral home was a first.)
Nathan
From: “Barbara Gordon”
Subject: jack and the witch
Date sent: Thu, 26 Jun 2003
Wow – this was one of my long-unidentified Japanese cartoons – only last year did I find out the actual title (before that I thought it was “Jack and the Beanstalk,” which is hellish to search for).
The redemption of girl theme shows up in another Toei? that I saw at the same time, the title of which seems to have been Little Norse Prince (and no, Cool Stuff doesn’t have it) where the mysterious girl is something like the sister of the Frost King or Sea King who wants to destroy the Norse village, and she refuses to help him, is still driven off by the villagers, nearly freezes to death in a long hallucinogenic underwater sequence, and is rescued by the Norse Prince kid and his cute bear friend. I would love to find that one again – maybe it’ll show up on dvd if they’re releasing Jack and the Witch that way.
-Barbara
Wow — sounds like the Japanese were having issues with the theme of “the redemption of women” right about then.
Nathan
From: “Tim Vanbaelen”
Date sent: Thu, 26 Jun 2003
I’ve read your latest review and have to correct you : Bozidar D. Benedikt directed another movie 3 years ago, called Beyond the 7th Door. Although, you’re actually right when you say that he didn’t direct another movie AFTER Graveyard Story.
Tim
Yes, that’s what I meant. Graveyard Story nailed the coffin shut, so to speak.
Thanks,
Nathan
From: “Michael Briel”
Subject: Thanks for that nice page! :o)
Date sent: Sat, 21 Jun 2003
I just wanted to tell you this, that’s all – I have loads of fun lately browsing through several B-Movie pages and reading about the silly stuff some folks put on film, at the same time downloading & watching as much MST3K as I can get, a show that – except for it’s dubbed an here videoreleased big-screen movie, is completely unknown here in Germany, which is a pity. :)
You page is amongst the best out there – and yesterday I stumbled about this dinosaur-discussion… hillarious. :)
Actually I do ‘know’ several creationists and/or pseudo-scientists here in Germany myself (I love to troll them a bit on the usenet from time to time), and the way they’re working allways is the same.
Anyway – thanks for the enlightening reviews, keep up the good work and I’ll be getting back to your page for a long time. (I will have to anyway since I haven’t read more than 25% of your reviews).
Regards – Michael Briel, Bonn Germany
Glad to be contributing to the global culture of cinema ridicule.
Nathan
From: “Jon B”
Subject: you are a god
Date sent: Tue, 17 Jun 2003
How the hell did you write all those movie reviews. Thats insane, we just wanted to find out more info on our new favorite movie Armed Response and found that you are the only one to actually give an in depth review of Armed Response. Without people like you I dont know where we’d be.
Nathan Shumate you are the man. Do you do big ass lines of coke before you start these movie reviews? I mean holy f*** man, thats a shit load of B rated movie reviews. And hats off to you for making Michael Berryman dude of the month, hes the man. Right back man we wanna know how you do all this shit.
thanks,
Jeffs house
A whole lotta caffeinated sodas, and very little social life. (And five years of practice.)
Hey, everyone needs a hobby. I don’t watch or play sports, and I stay up late all the time, so movies make good grist for the mill.
Glad you enjoy the site. Watch out for July, when I’m doing a whole month of post-apocalyptic movies.
Thanks,
Nathan
From: glc59579
Subject: DEAD 7 Review
Date sent: Thu, 12 Jun 2003
Nathan,
Thanks for the solid review. It’s refreshing when a reviewer understands the limitations of the no-budget SOV arena. I’ll send you the next flic, which is currently in post-prod. Stars William Smith, and the budget is 5 times that of DEAD 7. Sorry — no Tanya Dempsey this time, but plenty of other ‘lookers.’
Garrett Clancy
Wow — a budget of a WHOLE SEVEN DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS??
(Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.)
I look forward to it.
Nathan
From: “Jonathan Soles”
Subject: re your Teen Knight review
Date sent: Fri, 6 Jun 2003
Mr. Shumate,
I have never screened the film Teen Knight“and since reading your review of it I am less inclined to do so despite the fact that I usually try to catch everything my father has acted in. But since I read your review of the film and since in that review you elected to reference some of his previous roles I thought I’d send you this note. You are correct that Mr. Soles portrayed Albert Einstein in: “Light to the Power of Two” directed by David Devine. You are also correct to credit him with voicing Peter Parker in the original Spider-Man cartoon. Apparently though you are unaware that he also voiced Spider-Man. Given the program’s almost cult classic status I thought this was worth mentioning.
Out of curiosity has this cartoon ever aired in Utah? If you didn’t happen to grow up there then perhaps you’d tell me if it aired wherever else you may have lived. You see I’m always trying to determine just where, since when and for how long this cartoon has seen airtime. My suspicion is that it has been played on and off more or less everywhere and ever since it’s debut on ABC in 1967. I know that it has been prominent in most major centres throughout the US and Canada, but I don’t know much about the smaller markets. I can tell you that when Sam Raimi’s feature was released last year Mr. Soles did a bunch of radio interviews with stations in California, New York, Florida, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Alabama. In all of these places the interest in the cartoon was considerable. If you are at all inclined please share your sense as to the popularity of the program in the place that you are from. Thanks!
Jonathan Soles
Thanks for writing. I didn’t mention the fact that he also did the Spider-Man voice because I assumed that anyone reading my site would know that Peter Parker and Spider-Man were one and the same.
I didn’t live in Utah as a child, so I can’t gauge the popularity of the cartoon here at the time, but I think that recognition of the theme song is a nigh-universal sign of its popularity. Heck, I grew up on an island in eastern Canada, and I knew the words by heart. (Also nearly killed myself swinging in a tree with a ski mask on, pretending to be Spider-Man.)
Nathan
From: “Rayne Herbert”
Subject: Cold fusion review
Date sent: Thu, 5 Jun 2003
Hi Cold fusion,
I was reading your indepth review about that 1986 movie Wired to Kill (the film is called “Booby Trap” in europe).
If you can answer some questions then cool. In that movie Wired to Kill, why did Rebecca kill the blond gang member who “helped” her escape from Reegus in that factory? It didn’t make sense and wondered if there was a scene cut from it.
Also do you know the name of the futuristic film with an opening of a bleak city scape and a radio guy’s voice saying “the good news is there’s no good news.”
If you don’t know the answers then that’s ok.
Great site and keep it up!
Rain Teressa
Re your Wired to Kill question: Gosh, it’s been long enough (and the movie was so unmemorable) that I couldn’t tell you.
The second one I DO know (although I had to pull out my tape and watch the opening to be sure): It’s Hardware (1990), starring a pre-discovery Dylan McDermott. That’s not the absolute first scene — there’s a bit with a crazy guy discovering a buried robot in the desert before that — but it is the first part with any dialogue. (The DJ, by the way, is Iggy Pop.)
Nathan
From: “RoddMatsui Productions”
Subject: Hi again! from Rodd Matsui
Date sent: Wed, 04 Jun 2003
Hi again Nathan,
D’oh!! I just read some more reviews on your site, and was shocked and horrified to find that I had done some monster/creature effects for certain embarassing films that you love to hate. Films like…
CARNOSAUR
CARNOSAUR 2
DEMONIC TOYS
and
SEEDPEOPLE
You can, in fact, see me in the “making of” documentary of DEMONIC TOYS. Preserved for posterity. A milestone of cinema.
These particular films were all, by the way, absolute hell to work on, although CARNOSAUR 2 had very good catering. Well, they were all fun in their way. I mean, some of the people were nice. Ahhh, who am I kidding.
BTW, I never never knew that CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS featured two STAR TREK actors (!).
Thanks again,
Rodd Matsui
For the record, I’m one of the few people in the world who enjoys Carnosaur 2 immensely.
Nathan
From: “RoddMatsui Productions”
Subject: Jack and the Witch
Date sent: Wed, 04 Jun 2003
Hi Nathan,
Just a small note. I was surfing around for stuff on Jack and the Witch, and saw your site. I totally understand those obsessions with old shows we saw when we were too small to write stuff down. I was similarly haunted by Jack and the Witch, and also Choppy and the Princess (the feature version of Princess Knight). Admittedly, these are both on the girlish side, but I don’t, uh, really care.
Anyway, it’s nice to know that I’m not the only person on the planet who is weirdly obsessed with these obscure Japanese flicks!
By the way, I have taken up the flag of Generation Kikaida, in honor of one of my favorite childhood shows, “Kikaida.” Since it is now available on DVD, and nicely restored too I might add, I strongly recommend a look at this show, if you haven’t seen it. As an adult, I can now emphatically say it is insane and nonsensical and silly and some other stuff, but the monsters are genuinely vicious homicidal scum, so for a kid’s show, it has a surprisingly hard edge. You can check out the new wave of Kikaida fandom, and buy the new stuff, at:
www.generationkikaida.com
Extremely hip and cool site, by the way!
Thanks,
Rodd Matsui
www.progressivecinema.com
Thanks. I’ve been trying desperately to stay out of anime fandom, simply because I know I’d love it, and I don’t have the time or resources to pursue yet another obsession. Jack and the Witch was, and remains, a special case. (My memories of it were so fuzzy that I didn’t know it WAS anime until I found it.)
Nathan
From: Westfield Entertainment Group
Date sent: Sun, 25 May 2003
Hello Nathan-
I read your review of Lost on Mars” and was really surprised with the approach you took with it. It is blatantly obvious that you did not like the movie. I asked you to review the movie but feel that some of your statements, such as saying that I am not a real producer or director, discredits me. Your insinuations such as, that I took my screenplay and tried to get other studios to buy it, are false because I did not do that. I simply wrote the script and made the movie. I wish you would just stick to reviewing the movie rather than taking punches at me. I am just starting my business and this review is surely of no help. I understand that everybody has their own opinions for I have talked to other people who have liked the movie. I had to change the script very much because of my actors schedules. I know its faults and it is not what I wanted to do. Anyway, if you could remove the remark about for real producers and directors to the screen, and Lost on Mars is still pretty darned bad, I would appreciate it since we are a company just starting out.
Eric
Eric,
First off, I don’t pull punches for anyone. I’ve reviewed movies from people I know personally, and if they bite green weenies, I say so.
Second, the “for-real producers and directors” wasn’t aimed at microbudgeters like yourself, but to distinguish them from development execs — you know, people in charge of movies who know nothing about them. I apologize if that was unclear; my point in that sentence was to say that a script submitted through the studio system has both beancounters/pencilpushers to get through, and then get past the actual creative types. So I was taking no potshots at you there.
Third, I’m sorry that a review like this is of no help to you, but bluntly, I’m not here to help filmmakers as a class. My primary allegiance is always to the audience; I owe it to them to transmit my honest opinion. They have no obligation to take it, but there it is.
Fourth, I’m also sorry that you had to change so much based on external forces, but again, I can only review the movie, not the production schedule. You can’t expect to be there every time somebody pops your tape in the VCR to beg for their clemency. In the language of literary criticism, the “text” is the movie itself; problems you had with actors’ schedules or other logistics don’t change the quality of the end product.
Fifth, in keeping with that whole ethic described above, I don’t change reviews after the fact based on filmmakers’ wishes. (I’ve been asked before. I just don’t.) If someone points out a factual error to me, I obviously correct that, but I don’t soften my opinions. I may go back and revise the producers’n'directors sentence so that it more accurately reflects what I meant it to say. I can’t take out the “pretty darned bad” part, though, because that’s what I thought. I’ve seen good movies. I’ve seen good low-budget movies. I’ve seen good movies shot on video for pocket change. This wasn’t one of them.
None of which is meant to reflect on you as a person, or even on your potential as a writer/director. (Lord knows I’d leave a trail of bodies behind me before I showed people some of my early writing samples.) If you feel that Empire of Danger is a significant improvement over Lost on Mars, feel free to send me a screener. I certainly won’t hold one movie against the other. At worst, you’ll get another honest opinion, which is all I ever promise anybody.
Keep on slugging.
Nathan
From: burnitup
Subject: Are you really a professional film critique?
Date sent: Sat, 24 May 2003
If so I really can’t believe some website ever published you. Your review on I stand alone is one of the worst reviews I’ve read in months. It’s a bunch of blind commentary of the plot with no profound analysis and it seems you just went through the movie without analyzing the inner meanings and judging this with a “hit movie value” criticizing the lack of action and everything as if this movie was to be served to trendy teenagers on saturdays with popcorn. It’s obvious you refuse to see the meaning of it or worse you don’t even understand it.
Not once you speak about morality, you don’t even recognize Noe’s critique of people towards people in need (children who take care of their parents to gain heritage or to get a good conscience), people who only lick the asses of the rich and don’t care about their former friends when they’re in need in our “dog eat dog society”. Hello, the plot takes place in 1980
Then you say nobody knows the butcher’s name, maybe you weren’t attentive enought to the fact that they showed his identity card.
You then said that people who will bash your review will probably claim the “realism” of the movie well maybe you’re too afraid to see that there are people living like that. I’ve been to Pantin and I’ve been in the north of France and yes it’s said, but there’s always a way of ignoring this and go on with your happy life.
You just didn’t seem to capture the essence and the meaning of the film, for instance you talk of the porn flick as a way to put some action to the movie, you don’t even understand why it was flimed: to show Philippe (the butcher)’s important theory on life. You’re probably one of the people who judged Noé’s other movie Irreversible for it’s rape scene, just for that.
Some people watch for leisure, some people analyze, some people do both. You belong to the first category.
Thanks for reading
Kev
At last, the long-awaited letter bashing my review. After all the letters saying “Thank God you spoke up,” I was beginning to think that the raves for I Stand Alone were an “Emperor’s New Clothes” phenomenon.
I understand the movie just fine. There’s a man. He’s stupid. He’s angry. He likes to walk, and think about how stupid and angry he is. Profundity, my friend, isn’t something I should have to bring TO the movie; it should be there for me to discover. This is not a man with profound insights; the butcher is a stupid little man. (Oh, and as for criticizing me for not freeze-framing to read the butcher’s name off his ID card — did you also send letter criticizing the authors of positive reviews because they all also referred to him only as “the butcher”? Or were you just looking for some more ammo to put in your letter to me?)
“People really are like this” certainly isn’t a good enough reason to make a movie about them.I don’t NEED a movie to replicate real life entirely for two hours, thank you; real life is all around. A movie — or any art form — should refine and stylize real life to the degree that it makes a point. I Stand Alone has none. (Oh, wait: “I am a stupid angry man.” Point taken.)
And yes, I understand the point underscored by the hardcore scene: The butcher feels that man in nothing but an animal, motivated solely by his appetites. Somehow, watching penetration didn’t give me added insight into this shockingly novel philosophy; it only underscored how poorly Noe used the tools of cinema to make his statements. (By the way, Noe has admitted that the “gunshot” camera effects and other tricks are there because he was bored of his own movie and was trying to keep himself interested. Score one for me.)
Frankly, I think that your dismissive attitude toward me in my entirety is typical of a wounded art elitist. Trying to make me out to be some sort of shallow popcorn-movie geek and therefore not worth listening to, instead of honestly refuting my points, is the last defense of the challenged. I stand by my review, and I do not stand alone; I’ve had a dozen letters from intelligent people (some of them honest-to-goodness film students and scholars) who think that I Stand Alone is empty tripe. You’re welcome to accuse them of being too blind to grasp the depth of this wonderful film. I don’t think you’ll convince them either.
Nathan
From: “Eric Spudic”
Subject: Maniacal
Date sent: Tue, 20 May 2003
Howdy Nathan! I came across the review for MANIACAL on your site just today. It keeps popping up here and there on websites and I have to search for all the reviews. Hope you like my next one, BLUDGEON (which is called BUTCHERED on its trailer) a lot better. I still haven’t seen it, but hopefully they didn’t mess up my script like they did with MANIACAL.
For MANIACAL, Sterling said to “Remake HALLOWEEN and add gore and tits.” But he wanted it SCREAM-ish except none of that “guess who the killer is” like I wanted to do a la PROM NIGHT. Kinda funny you also mentioned the three years in the credits and one year in the dialogue thing. I had put one year in the script and Mark Gordon, the producer, apparently thought it’d be better if three years had passed. I told him that it’s now been brought up in at least 5 reviews and should be changed to the way I had it. Haven’t even seen the final cut myself.
The original treatment had a few more cops in it, but Sterling wanted to keep it under 10 speaking roles and said to throw the coppers out. So a lot of it was ruined just simply by budget(i.e. 5-day shoot, no explosions, chases, extra locations). I’m surprised you didn’t bring up that hideous ending, unless you liked it perhaps? Gilbert was originally shot to death and rolled down some stairs, but then Joe Castro decided it’d be neat to have him commit suicide instead. I’m still dumbfounded with that ending :-)
I must say I liked the review as it has more insight than a lot of the other reviews I’ve read. I pretty much agree with you about this movie. Hope you like AQUANOIDS (they fucked that script up too) and BLOODY TEASE better. Maybe CREEPIES will be done soon also.
Eric
www.ericspudic.com
Well hey, at least you’re getting your scripts produced.
(I skipped the out-of-left-field-religious stuff at the very end because it really would have taken too many paragraphs to give the appropriate level of “huh?”. But yeah, I “huhhed” pretty hard.)
Nathan
From: M Mikell
Subject: Funny You Should Mention Slashers…
Date sent: Thu, 15 May 2003
“I mean, folks, it’s been done. The straight-up slasher movie has been played out, worn out, burned out, and left for dead. (snip) But they keep making ‘em.”
Wow–what a coincidence. I had JUST turned off the television after seeing a trailer for Wrong Turn,” which appears to be about yet another ax-wielding looney attacking a group of horny, aged “teenagers” at a summer camp.
Now I’m looking at the plot description at the IMDB, and the story’s actually worse than it looked:
“A carload of six teens find themselves trapped in the woods of West Virginia, hunted down by cannibalistic mountain men grossly disfigured through generations of in-breeding.”
Why don’t they just retitle it “Generic Cannibal Murder Family Movie #76?”
…and the writer has given us “Halloween 4, Wheels of Terror, Spawn, Left Behind, Layover, and…and… Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever. Awwwwgh, I’m sicking up on my keyboard!!!
I get the feeling like this is some sort of test; like anyone who buys a ticket for Wrong Turn, in spite (or because of) all these blaring warning klaxons, will be walking into a slaughterhouse disguised as a movie theater and be promptly removed from the gene pool.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe that’s Freddy vs. Jason.
Take care,
Matt
Hoo boy. The IMDB also gives this under “Movie Connections”:
“References:
Deliverance (1972)
Texas Chain Saw Massacre, The (1974)
Hills Have Eyes, The (1977)“Reimagining three, three, THREE movies for the price of one!
Thanks,
Nathan
From: Heather Smith
Subject: Zombie Chronicles
Date sent: Mon, 12 May 2003
Hi. I just read your review of The Zombie Chronicles. I also just finished watching the movie. You know, without knowing ANYTHING about the movie, I thought that it could possibly be good. I knew that it might have been a B-rated film. Calling it a B-rated film- would give it too much credit. I’m so glad that you pointed out the “1971″ bit. It’s a 1971 “flashback”, and the two people are driving a KIA SPORTAGE SUV. Haha- I really did expect them to whip out a cell phone. *rolls eyes*.
I’m just curious to know, how old these people are that made this film. Please email me back, because I’m dying to know. The special effects were the only good thing about that movie.
-Heather
To be honest, I don’t know. The writer, Garrett Clancy, also played the ex-army sarge in the first story, looks to be in his mid-thirties, but other than that I have no clues to go on.
Nathan
From: dluna
Subject: Jack and the Witch
Date sent: Wed, 7 May 2003
Dear Nathan,
I want to thank YOU for researching the whereabouts of Jack and the Witch. For years now, I’ve been haunted by the memory of the film. The things I vividly remembered were: the jalopy, the girl, the title but only the ‘Jack and . . . ‘ part, the wind tunnel or whatever it was, and the moment the witch turned into a galloping hag (which scared me to pieces.) Now this is all a memory from when I lived in Monrovia, California since we moved to Cucamonga (don’t laugh) in ‘76. I was just a tyke of 6 ot 7. I was so desperate to find the title, I even considered contacting TV Guide regarding their 70’s archives!!
Every now and again I get the urge to look this up and see if I can find any leads. So today I punched in ‘1970’s Japanese Anime’ and that lead me to Cool Stuff’s data/list page. I scrolled down to see if there would be a Jack of any kind and lo and behold, there was! Awesome. Everything was pretty straightforward after my Jack and the Witch plug on Google–my search was a helluva lot easier than yours I imagine, so thank you.
By the way, I’ve also found other movies of my childhood today and they would be: Melody (1971) and The Family Way (1967) with Hayley Mills. All out of print or only available in the UK. Sigh.
Best,
Devi B.-Luna
There are so many of us out there, living with this secret….
Thanks,
Nathan
From: “Mercy Facciani”
Subject: Jack and the Witch
Date sent: Fri, 2 May 2003
Your review brought tears to my eyes. I have been frantically searching for information on this movie for 25 years. I thought I had dreamed the whole experience as well. I remember it playing on Halloween not Christmas though.
Please, please, please tell me where I can purchase the video or a copy of it. It will make my life complete!
Thanks much,
Mercy
Well, you have two options:
1) Cool Stuff Videos sells a tape taken from a beaten-up, partially faded print. It’s not the greatest, but as far as I’ve been able to tell, it is absolutely the only place to get an English-language version of it (unless and until someone discovers another print in better condition in the basement of some local TV station).
2) CD Japan has a brand-spanking-new DVD out, fully restored and whatnot. The catches are that it’s a) Region 2, and b) Japanese language without subtitles.
At least one reader has reported that he played the DVD with the sound off while listening to the soundtrack of the VHS tape.
Hope this helps. God bless misty childhood memories!
Nathan
From: “B Clugston”
Subject: Jack and the Witch
Date sent: Tue, 29 Apr 2003
Nathan,
Another thank you for the info on Jack and the Witch. This was a childhood favourite of mine, but I couldn’t remember the name of it. After years of periodically typing “Into the machine, into the machine” into search engines, I just found your reference to Jack and the Witch, solving my festering question. Judging from the many responses, this movie made quite an impression on a lot of people.
Regards,
Brendan Clugston
…And welcome to the club!
Nathan
From: stephen jarvis
Subject: about CUT AND RUN
Date sent: Tue, 29 Apr 2003
Nathan:
Steve Jarvis here. You recently reviewed three of my Cinematrix releases: AMAZON WARRIOR, CLUB DEAD, and BLOODSTREAM. I can’t say I was too pleased with the results, but your reviews are always entertaining. I’m willing to try again, and send you our latest, CHAIN OF SOULS, and maybe one or two other titles. I noticed on your site that you’re swamped with screeners and have cut off receiving any more. So if you don’t want them right now (or ever), I will understand.
I will say this: CHAIN OF SOULS does not feature a college campus, newspaper reporters, or “proto-feminist warrior tribes.” So who knows? Maybe you’ll like it.
But here’s the real reason for this e-mail. You recently reviewed Deodato’s CUT AND RUN as part of your special Berryman month. What you may not know is that CUT AND RUN was based on a screenplay by none other than Wes Craven. He was scheduled to direct it for the Italian production house Racing Pictures. It was then called MARIMBA. Craven was there throughout pre-production, had a falling out with the Italian producers, and dropped out just days before filming was to begin. Deodato took his place at the last moment. It’s possible that Craven even shot a few days before quitting.
I think it’s fairly common for Italian productions being helmed by a foreigner who doesn’t speak Italian to retain an Italian director to serve as a sort of liason between the English-speaking director and the crew, so Deodato may have already been an active player when Craven left.
At any rate, its almost certain that Craven is responsible for the casting of CUT AND RUN, which means that it COULD be considered the fifth collaboration between Berryman and Craven. It’s interesting to note that after this film, Craven never hired Berryman again. Perhaps he felt that Berryman betrayed him by staying on after Craven was given the boot.
After the film was completed, Craven went to the producers and tried to buy back his own script. “You had a shot at it and blew it,” he told them. “Now give me a chance to do it right.” I think you can derive from those comments that he was not overly pleased by the final product. Needless to say, despite this enchantingly worded appeal, the Italians refused to sell it back.
Since you’re a fan of Berryman, I thought this oddball bit of trivia might appeal to you.
Keep up the good work on your site.
Cordially,
Steve Jarvis
That is indeed information I didn’t know.
Feel free to send along the screener, but I warn you that I may not get to it until next year (yup, I’m that swamped).
Thanks,
Nathan
From: “Chad H. Saxelid”
Subject: “The Reaper no get fooled like Papa Jupe!”
Date sent: Thu, 24 Apr 2003
“The Reaper sucks!”
Craven should be ashamed. Interesting footnote. Beast in Hills 1 and Hills 2 is played by the same dog (and he even gets his own doggie flashback). Craven did disown this movie, claiming the filmmakers closed down the production a day or two early, thus robbing the movie of important scenes. What they might have contained to salvage the rest of the movie, I don’t know. And I don’t want to know.
Chad
Sounds like a cop-out to me — he can’t very well blame a couple of missing scenes for the piss-poor initial premise, can he?
Thanks,
Nathan
From: “Harris Smith”
Subject: karen black
Date sent: Thu, 17 Apr 2003
Um, hi. Long time reader, first time complainer. I really feel like a nerd for writing you about this, but in a recent review you were bagging on Karen Black and I think it should be noted that she was, in her time, a really good actress who was in some genuinely great films like Easy Rider, Day of the Locust, Five Easy Pieces, The Great Gatsby, Nashville, Born to Win and Family Plot. I think it’s really has more to do with Hollywood’s short term memory and age-ism against wisdom that Black has wound up in a bunch of really bad b-movies than it does with her acting ability.
Of course, you’re totally entitled to your opinion and I generally enjoy reading your reviews so, yeah, keep up the good work, I guess.
-Harris
No, I know she’s a good actress. I guess those occasions where I saw her cast as a temptress just scarred my psyche.
Thanks,
Nathan
From: nate
Subject: The Barbarian Brothers
Date sent: Wed, 16 Apr 2003
Nate,
I was pleased to find another lover of things Barbarian on the internet. I enjoyed your review of The Barbarians.
I thought you may be interested to know that there is another Nate out there who has reviewed the remaining three movies in the Barbarian Brother series.
You can check them out here if you so desire:
http://www.lanceandeskimo.com/chefelf/reviews.shtml
Thanks for keeping the Barbarian dream alive! I wish those bastards would start releasing movies again. It’s such great material for writing reviews!
Nate
Gee– it’s like finding a twin brother I never knew I had. That reminds me of something — if only I could remember what…
Nathan
From: Kenya Ratcliff
Subject: irreversible
Date sent: Wed, 9 Apr 2003
hi:
i would be interested to get your take on gaspar noe’s newish film irreversible, given your strong feelings about i stand alone, — a review which entertained me greatly. my friend-the-auteur mike has annoyed me thoroughly by going on ad nauseam about how profound and wonderful irreversible is (he always punctuates the monologue by emphasizing the fact that “there is a ten-minute rape scene!” as if that is really a long time for a rape to last — it ain’t, unfortunately– or as if that would make me more interested in seeing it). anyway, i encountered your site via a link on Rotten Tomatoes (www.rottentomatoes.com) and was glad to see some sunlight pierce through the cloud (or mound, if you will) of dried-up horse-you-know-what that is art-house movie criticism these days. no matter how great the editing and how spooky-ass weird the films are, it seems to me that, if you don’t give a damn about any of the characters by the end of the movie and you haven’t learned anything except 1) how much a director reviles the opposite sex and 2) how to use a camera to make your audience really dizzy and puke, then it just ain’t worth it.
keep up the good work and i hope to see a blisteringly-honest review of irreversible posted soon (if for no reason other than to deflate my friend mike).
kenya
While friend-deflation is always a worthy goal (one of the best, actually), I don’t know that I ever want to spend another ninety minutes under the influence of M’sieur Noe. At this point, there are roughly 10,280 movies on my “want to see” list; when that starts running dry, I may go so far as to look up Irreversible.
Thanks,
Nathan
From: Kristopher Anderson
Subject: M. Berryman Month
Date sent: Wed, 9 Apr 2003
Mr. Shumate,
First, allow me to extend my congratulations on your new job. I’ve been following your weblog on this matter and sending you as many good vibes as I could muster. Well done.
Now for the crux of my letter. When you first announced a forthcoming Berryman month, I was mightily pleased. Such a hard-working man’s catalogue should never go without worthy mention. Especially being that he is part of a small group of actors that use their physical abnormalities to create memorable characters.
So I was a little disappointed to reach the end of your review dealing with The Hills Have Eyes. Aside from a brief mention in the beginning of the review, not much was said about his acting or the effect of a character like Pluto. The points you did make were well said and I completely agree with every last one of them. But to call it Micheal Berryman Month and not include much Berryman? Granted he isn’t the real star of either movie posted so far, but I was expecting a little more information or opinion on the actor himself.
Hey, they’re your reviews and you can write ‘em how you want ‘em. Thanks for entertaining my small rant.
Keep up the great work and good luck with the job.
Kristopher Anderson
Well, there’s the problem: Despite his visibility, Berryman is rarely called upon to carry much of a movie. And while I am reviewing these movies under the MBM banner, I also want the reviews themselves to function well outside of the Binge — i.e., so that someone coming across one from my main list won’t feel gypped that I reviewed Berryman, not the whole movie.
(You musta been REALLY disappointed with my Solar Crisis review on that score, I’ll bet.)
Nathan
From: Ashley Lane
Date sent: Sat, 5 Apr 2003
Hi,
I’m a regular reader of the Cold Fusion website, and though I generally like to keep my head underground, so to speak, I feel that I must congratulate you on your recent success and your net endeavours. The trouble with blogs, on the part of the reader, is that you’re painfully aware they’re not fiction. A man has actually confronted a horror that I would be frozen by, and he, unlike me, has a family to support. The fact that you’ve revealed yourself to be quite a likeable chap didn’t help matters! Very well done, you deserve it.
(A side note about blogs not being fictional- I checked out True Porn Clerk Stories once. Ye Gods…)
More generally about the website, I find it very interesting and intelligent. My only local video store is a small Blockbuster in Cambridge, England- chances of finding many reviewed films there is, er, somewhat smaller than finding the Loch Ness monster. Though I did recently get The Mangler 2, to see if it was as bad as you said (Answer: Yes. With a hugely unsympathetic heroine, who tragically survives, and a plot both predictable and addled with plot holes that could sink battleships).
I’ve also been enjoying Avalon & Company. I must admit that I like most the scenes with Vielstich, partially because I find his profession intriguing- imagine archiving all these insanely dangerous books- and partially because I like exposition done well. It also helps that I imagine him as an older Udo Kier (who deserves better work). The pace is good and the story’s told well. I’m currently writing a novel myself, a detective story. I don’t know whether it’ll see the light of day, but I understand some of the difficulties of writing fiction.
Again, congratulations with the jobs, and keep up the good work,
Yours,
Ashley Lane
I certainly thank you for your well-rounded compliments. As for being frozen by the horror — I was, for about 24 suicidal hours. (Plus occasional panic attacks thereafter.) But sometimes I don’t think we acknowledge the human capacity to adapt to circumstance. Every single person confronts catastrophe at some point, be it joblessness, divorce, death of a loved one, or one’s own impending death. I think, on the whole as a species, we handle it pretty well. (In other words, I can’t take sole personal credit for my demeanor. Comes with the genes.)
And it sounds like Cambridge would be prime real estate for a video franchiser to move in. Hmmm…
Thanks,
Nathan
From: “Laurens Plompen”
Subject: breastcount for 28 days later
Date sent: Thu, 3 Apr 2003
Nathan,
In your review of 28 Days Later (which I’ve seen yesterday in a sneak preview), you’ve slipped up a bit. One of the Notable Totables is wrong, namely the breast-count. Should be 1 pair instead of 0. Where, you might ask? When Jim sounds the horn at the road-block to lure out the army commander, he kills one of the soldiers, puts the body in an army vehicle to lure the commander. The commander gets into the jeep and 2 or 3 infected people come out of the woods to attack the commander. One of these infected is a naked woman. Thus, 2 (grey,decaying) breasts visible in the movie. Thought you’d want to know :)
Laurens
Alas, I’m slipping…
Thanks,
Nathan
From: “Chad H. Saxelid”
Subject: The Hills Have Eyes
Date sent: Thu, 3 Apr 2003
Hi Nathan,
I have good news for you. Anchor Bay will be releasing a two-disc DVD special edition of The Hills Have Eyes this year (2003). I hope it will contain the alternate ending I saw on television when the movie aired on TV in Hong Kong back in 1983 or 84. For your info, the ending has a moment, after the stabbing death upon which the movie now ends, and has the ‘good’ mutant Ruby (i.e. the girl who has a soul, or remorse at least) returning the baby and then TAKING THE HAND of one of the men (the blonde). I won’t spoil what direction this ending took in Craven’s Hills Have Eyes Part 2 (ick, that movie), but it was a nice symbolic and hopeful moment, an entirely new family joining together/forming within in the wreckage of the two destroyed families.
Perhaps Craven took it out because it was too fairy tale happy?
Chad(zilla)
Hmm. does seem a little sugary, but gives a bit more resolution. I’ll look forward to the DVD.
Thanks,
Nathan
From: KJBLEU
Subject: Re: Jack and the Witch
Date sent: Mon, 24 Mar 2003
I just got the Japanese DVD of Jack and the Witch. The picture is great, and in widescreen format, too. I hooked up the VCR sound and put the coolstuff video in and synced it up with the DVD so I had the best of both worlds. I found out there is a scene cut out of the American version. I will try to watch it in Japanese, but it won’t be the same without the dubbed voices we remember so well!
Ed
PS If you want to get it go to: http://www.cdjapan.co.jp
Thanks for the heads-up, I’ll let everyone know.
Nathan
From: “gary & sandra”
Subject: sports
Date sent: Thu, 20 Mar 2003
Hi Nathan. It’s a mystery to most women why the majority of men are obsessed with watching overpaid idiots play children’s games on tv. If they love sports so much, why don’t they go play them? (I have the suspicion that they get off on watching football players bent over in a huddle. I mean, there’s no logical reason why their pants have to be so tight, eh?) Plus, quoting sports statistics at each other keeps men from actually having to make conversation. I admire your courage in admitting that you don’t understand it either. Hope they don’t drum you out of the union! sandra
Fear not — I am secure enough in my masculinity that I fear no recriminations regarding gender loyalty.
Thanks,
Nathan
[This comment was in reference to some observations I made in my review of The New Gladiators.]
From: “Demon Drooler”
Subject: (No Subject)
Date sent: Thu, 20 Mar 2003
Good day,
Found your site, and I must say, I like the reviews quite a lot, very well written, and generally dead-on. I disagreed entirely with your review of Terror Firmer; I thought it was a beautiful flick, but hey, that’s all part of the fun.
Anyhow, I was moved to write in after reading your review of Terror Toons: sharing your crush on the uber-cutie blonde actress, as yes, she is spectacular, I figured as one b-movie loving web geek to another, I had to point you towards The Coven, in case nobody’s bothered to yet. It’s a witchcraft movie of dubious quality, but our uber-cutie gives us two great scenes of nudity. Full-on, man. Full-frontal, and not even fleeting. I saw Terror Toons first, so imagine my delight with The Coven. Apologies if you’ve already been notified, but hey, in light of your Terror Toons review, I wanted to make sure you know, as it is a knee-bucklingly wonderful sight. The movie also features a lesbian makeout scene with her and a very attractive goth chick. (!)
Anyhow, again, I ejoyed the site, enjoy The Coven,
scott
http://free.hostdepartment.com/d/demondrooler
Thanks for the heads-up; I’ll bump that one further up my list.
Nathan
From: SiIverAddict
Subject: Adventures in Dino City
Date sent: Mon, 17 Mar 2003
Just saw the review. Wondered if you knew/remembered that there was a video game loosely based on this film for the SNES. Same plot and everything, except that the “sucked into a TV show” idea was discarded, leaving it as a standard alternate universe. The main “gimmick” was that the kids rode on the dinosaurs’ backs, but could jump off and freeze enemies with their remotes. It was games like that which were responsible for making games like Warlock (based on the film of the same name, but only slightly) look good.
- True Darem, a.k.a. Mr. Paradox of the B-Movie Message Board
That one slipped by me, but no wonder; I haven’t followed video games since Tetris was riding high.
Thanks,
Nathan
From: ZeroFilms
Subject: Great Site.
Date sent: Sun, 16 Mar 2003
Dear Nathan:
Just wanted to drop you a line and tell you how much I’ve enjoyed your site since I first ran across it last year. Your wicked wit with even the most putrid dung heaps of cinema (now there’s a phrase even Roger Ebert has never used…) inspires and delights. Seeing your reviews of other Mormon films made me wonder…have you had the chance to see Orgazmo? I’m sure you’ve heard of it, since Trey Parker of South Park fame created it. Only reason I ask is that friends of mine who are Mormons had told me they were quite furious with it. I was just curious to hear your opinions for this film. As for me, I wasn’t too impressed. Yes, it has its moments — but it was neither as subversive or as wild as reviews and hype had painted it.
Either way — keep up the good work. Anyone who can appreciate truly Grade Z entertainment is good in my book.
-RC
P.S. I should also thank you for your “links” page which is how I found Jabatoou’s page. Their “senior thesis” style reviews have been printed up and handed out to nearly everyone in my film critique circles…where else can you find 20 pages (!) on Highlander 2??
Thanks. I’ve yet to force myself through Orgazmo — the short clips I saw were enough to pretty much prove that Parker was using nothing but a straw-man pastiche of Mormons to poke fun at. If someone wants to spit in my face, I’d appreciate it if he’d do it forthrightly instead of trying to pass it off as humor.
And yeah, Ken Begg at Jabootu is one of the true giants of the field. Helluva nice guy in person, too.
Thanks,
Nathan
From: “Chad H. Saxelid”
Subject: Sitting up and reading Pastoral Horror in my Deathbed.
Date sent: Mon, 10 Mar 2003
Nathan,
Sounds like Deathbed is one worth acquiring. I saw bits and pieces of HorrorVision on William Shatner’s Full Moon Fright Night and was quite impressed. Granted the movie was obviously padded, but Draven showed a clear talent. I look forward to seeing this effort.
Also looks like Ancients is worth skipping (or at least just snagging from the library), though ‘Pastoral Horror’ is my favorite genre (both as a reader and a struggling writer). In the contemporary arena, John Saul seems to remain the most commercially successful writer of PH while Charles L. Grant is the genre’s (to me) clearest artistic success (although Ray Bradbury has slinked into the genre again, just to show what a literary badass he is).
Still eagerly awaiting 28 Days Later.
Take care,
Chad(zilla)
So many media offerings of varying quality, so little time…
Thanks,
Nathan
From: “Cheryl and John Nelson”
Subject: Re: Jack and the Witch
Date sent: Sun, 9 Mar 2003
Hello,
I just read your page about Jack and the Witch. Thank you for solving a 27 year-old mystery! I saw this movie when I was 3 or 4 years old at a daycare in a Tulsa, Oklahoma bowling alley. It has always been dimly in the back of my mind somewhere. I remembered they said the cartoon was called “Jack and the Witch“. I also had memories of the witch with blue skin and white hair, blue ice caves, and talking rain drops(?) I was happy to hear that someone else had seen the film too (and it did seem kind of like a dream to me too). Thanks for writing a detailed description of the movie that helped me rememeber it, and for the link to Cool Stuff Video. I never thought I would be able to find any information about it, much less find a copy. I’ve emailed Cool Stuff to make sure they still offer it. Anyway, thanks so much!
Heather
The response I’ve gotten to that review is simply staggering. You are very, very welcome.
Nathan
From: “BYRON HENRY”
Subject: Savage(d) Dawn
Date sent: Sun, 2 Mar 2003
Pretty good review. With the critical expertise you guys exhibit, I view the B-Masters’ sites as public service announcements to warn me what to avoid. (However, I’m cursed with a Filipina wife who loves John Travolta…this will explain typos in this e-mail because I’m typing blind following a showing of Battlefield Earth last night. I should have listened to you guys before I was forced to gouge out my eyes.)
Sorry for the digression. In your review, Agua Dulce is mentioned as Lance Henriksen’s destination, but it’s not the generic Southwest. It’s a dinky town that’s barely a spot on the dirt, much less the map, just south of Vasquez Rocks on California Highway 14. It’s that state park where they filmed all those Star Trek episodes in the classic series and in Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. (I think it was also in Star Trek: Generations, where Patrick Stewart and Malcolm McDowall had their showdown.)
Well, on second thought, maybe the writers were just coming up with Spanish-sounding names with help from a high-school freshman who took straight D’s the first three quarters…?
For their untiring efforts in B-movies and sci-fi efforts of all magnitudes, shouldn’t Vasquez Rocks get nodding mention as an overused visual cliche or something? It’s like the Tim Thomerson of movie sets.
As always, keep ‘em coming and I’ll keep visiting. Thanks again!
Byron Henry
Pueblo, CO
Yeah, there may indeed by an Agua Dulce, but I don’t know that the Agua Dulce of the movie is indeed THE Agua Dulce. If it were, the producers would have been open to a class-action suit by the residents for portraying them all as shiftless morons.
(And the showdown from Generations was filmed in southeast Utah, which is why Kirk doesn’t stop, look around, and say, “Hey, didn’t I fight the Gorn right over there?”)
Thanks,
Nathan
From: “Joe Prisco”
Subject: star crystal review
Date sent: Sat, 1 Mar 2003
Nathan -
You might feel gypped by having spent $2 to buy this movie; I was an employee at Blockbuster and had it actually recommended to me by a customer. Read those last six words again carefully, and you may feel some pity for the poor slogs benind the counters at your local CorpoVideo.
Why did he recommend it? I asked that same question, having given up after enduring an hour or so. I then had to abide The Chide for not watching this charming saga to the very end, which my helpful Recommendor inisisted was the quintessence of necessity if I were to appreciate this movie in full. I then had to rent it again, so as to understand his peculiar opinion.
Turns out, the simple plot-device of the Alien turning out friendly made the movie a Good One for him — proving that any idiot can like something (running neck-and-neck with flatworms in the evolutionary department) and follow a plot line. I have since come to believe that any movie that can be ruined by simple plot disclosure (Casablanca: she leaves Rick behind; Citizen Kane: it’s a sled; The Godfather: Pacino takes over) may well not be worth seeing in the first place. After all, hadn’t the viewers who first saw Gone With the Wind already read the book? :-)
Joe Prisco
Dear heavens. I’m usually a proponent of “live and let idiots live,” but people like that make me dream of mandatory sterilization for boneheads.
Thanks,
Nathan
From: M Mikell
Subject: “Savage Dawn”
Date sent: Fri, 28 Feb 2003
Hi!
Whew. Reading your latest review, I thought I was going nuts…until I went over to the IMDB and confirmed that there are TWO movies titled “Savage Dawn,” made two years apart, both featuring a character named Stryker.
The original title of the other “Savage Dawn” is, in fact, “Stryker.” It’s a completely-unrelated “Mad Max” rip-off. You can check it out either at the IMDB or at Unknown Movies.
For some reason, this bizarre anti-connection strykes me (huh huh huh) as incredibly creepy.
Take care,
Matt
Yeah, if I had been more ambitious, I would have tracked down the other one and reviewed them back-to-back… But hey, that takes effort.
Thanks,
Nathan
From: John Rigler
Subject: Reviews, comments
Date sent: Tue, 25 Feb 2003
I laughed at your review of Abraxas. I went for one of those DVD grab bag deals that is out on ebay and have actually etertained myself by watching some pretty silly movies. I liked your other reviews. But what about The Evil Dead series, or Night of the Living Dead? Do you figure those have already been reviewed to death. You might also be interested in The House of Exorcism, a bizarre Exorcist ripoff that apparent started life as a pretty cool film Lisa and the Devil.
C ya and keep up the good fight ( I always wanted to say that).
Thanks. The Evil Dead is somewhere on the 9,500-title list of things to review, though as you pointed out, there’s no dearth of coverage out there.
I’ll probably never review NotLD, simply because it’s an incredible piece of cinema that EVERYONE has already said EVERYTHING there is to say about. I don’t think there’s a single thing I can add to what’s already out there.
(The remake, on the other hand… Yeah, that’s fair game.)
Thanks,
Nathan
From: Patrick ODonnell
Subject: Jack and the Witch
Date sent: Sun, 23 Feb 2003
Nathan,
I read your review of Jack and the Witch. Thank you for refindng this movie!!!! My brother sent me the link to your review. He and I have been searching for this thing for years now. It was interesting to see that you also have been haunted by this movie for 25 years. My brother and I must have seen it on TV twice around 1979 (?) or so. I have had vague memories of the movie as well that I have always kept alive because it was one of the coolest things I have ever seen (at least I remember it that way from childhood). If I get to see this gem again in English, my life will be that much more complete. I guess that is a reflection of how impressed I was by Jack and the Witch.
sincerely,
Pat O’Donnell
I tell ya, the guy from Cool Stuff Videos is going to have to start paying me a commission.
Thanks,
Nathan
