• Directed by Jim O’Connelly
• Written by William Bast (and Julian Moore, uncredited), based on the story “Valley in the Mist” by Willis H. O’Brien
• Starring
  • James Franciscus
  • Gila Golan
  • Richard Carlson
• Produced by Charles H. Schneer

There are some movies which encapsulate the entire plot in the premise. These movies are the closest thing there is to a guaranteed good movie: All the movie makers have to do is deliver the plot that the premise requires, and film it competently. Presto — enjoyable movie.

Here’s a classic: “Cowboys and dinosaurs.” Attach Ray Harryhausen to the project, and Tadah! Guaranteed entertainment!

Our setting is Mexico, where charming rogue Tuck Kirby (James Franciscus) catches up to the down-on-its-luck Wild West Show run by T.J. Breckenridge (the gorgeous Gila Golan). Seems that Tuck used to be a part of the act, but he split to seek his fortune elsewhere, leaving leadylove T.J. high and dry, and he’s not back because of an attack of conscience; he wants to but T.J.’s famous trick horse right out from under her (so to speak).

A necessary digression: There are those in the b-movie community who can never bear to squander a kind word on Franciscus, due largely to his performance as the pseudo-Heston in Beneath the Planet of the Apes. To those individuals (you know who you are), I say: level the playing field! There are very few actors of any caliber who would have come out of BtPotA looking good. For one thing, he was stepping into the shoes of one of the uber-coolest male leads ever (despite what you think of Charlton Heston’s politics or acting ability, I defy you to find another star who holds your attention better). For another, the part written for him left him about as slow on the upkeep as your average ill-fated Lovecraftian protagonist. For a third, he was playing against one of the most stunning leading ladies ever, the arresting Linda Harrison as the mute Nova. Come on, fellas; Nova still managed to have screen presence when sharing it with Heston — and that’s with a non-speaking role! Obviously, she’s going to overshadow whatever poor schmuck is cast as Heston’s replacement.

For comparison, I offer The Valley of Gwangi, in which Franciscus is more evenly matched. Gila Golan (Miss Israel 1961, in case you were wondering), is a rare beauty, and her performance has no obvious flaws, but she’s not the same caliber as the radiant Harrison. Thus, James Franciscus is not overmatched by his romantic co-lead, and thus knock off the James Franciscus jokes.

Anyway. After being introduced to other character who will become important — notably Lope the Mexican whiz kid and Professor Bromley the mutton-chopped paleantologist — we get back to the plot. Seems that the Wild West Show needs some new attraction, and Gila’s found it, in the form of a miniature, three-toed horse sold her by a gypsy. Of course, when the professor catches sight of it, he almost swallows his tongue, because he recognizes it as the supposedly-extinct eohippus, 50 million year-old ancestor to the modern horse. In order to find out where the eohippus came from — the mysterious “Forbidden Valley,” ruled by an ominous something named “Gwangi” — he engineers the li’l horse’s “rescue” by other gypsies, desperate to get the horse back before one of those ugly curses comes true. Kirby throws his lot with T.J. to get it back, they all blunder through a passageway into the inaccessable valley…

… and Ray Harryhausen cuts loose.

Ignore the fact that this arid desert valley doesn’t seem to be able to support a dung beetle, much less the herds of two-ton herbivores which would be necessary to support even one allosaurus. Ignore the fact that the eohippus isn’t even close to being a contemporary of the other “extinct” animals in the valley, all dinosaurs and their kin. Ignore the fact that the giant pterodactyl is in no way trapped in this valley (it can fly, remember?).

Just sit back and watch the master at work.

The Valley of Gwangi bombed on its original theatrical release, and it’s not hard to figure out why. The project had been a pet of Willis O’Brien, the stop-motion genius behind the original King Kong, among others. He had been trying to get a cowboys ‘n’ dinosaurs movie to the screen since the mid-’40s; it finally made it, seven years after his death, thanks to protege Harryhausen. Some would argue (rightly) that the advent of color cinema and the advances in stop-motion under Harryhausen allowed this movie to be realized much better than it would have been when originally conceived. Unfortunately, the story itself didn’t advance like the technical aspects; the Western elements are all old-school Western, showcasing that rough-and-ready-but-rosy West that was promulgated by the last decade’s TV shows. Unfortunately, by 1969, audiences had moved beyond that, and were looking for counter-culture Westerns. 1969, you remember, was the year of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. The story elements of Gwangi would have seemed terribly outfashioned by comparison. To say nothing of dinosaurs themselves, which were considered past their prime as a crowdpleaser.

Of course, in hindsight, none of that matters, and those of us going into the movie expecting a nostalgic treatment are rewarded with some gems. Harryhausen managed to give a sly tribute to his mentor the second time we see Gwangi; that little chin-scratch he gives himself before chasing Kirby is identical to the one that O’Brien used with the Tyrannosaurus in King Kong. Steven Spielberg manages to tribute Gwangi in like manner; we first meet Gwangi when the cowboys are chasing a struthiomimus (or an ornithomimus or one of those other ostritchy dinosaurs) and suddenly the allosaurus steps out of nowhere and snatches the hapless smaller dinosaur up. I’m sure you can recognize the parallel scene in Jurassic Park.

In the final analysis, I’m the first to declare it a goofy movie. The characters are broadly drawn stereotypes (although I’m much more forgiving of perky ethnic street children than perky pampered white children — in other words, Lope could kick Wesley’s ass any day), huge sections are reminiscent of King Kong (without the monster/girl relationship), and the finale takes place in the most flammable stone cathedral ever constructed.

But it’s a good goofy movie, and the pleasure at being able to look at all the beautiful creatures (and I’m not just talking about Harryhausen’s work) definitely puts this on the guilt-free list.

Some Notable Totables:

• body count: 5
• breasts: 0
• explosions: 0
• ominous thunderstorms: 0
• fruit carts: 3
• actors who’ve appeared on Star Trek: 0